Building Your Own Door: The Power of Persistence and Patience
Today’s conversation dives deep into the essence of determination and resilience, as we explore how to overcome obstacles and pursue our passions, even when it seems like there’s no way forward.
I’m joined by Vincent Pugliese, a multifaceted individual who's walked through his share of challenges and emerged with invaluable insights. He shares his journey from struggling in school to becoming a successful sports photographer and entrepreneur, illustrating how persistence and the willingness to forge your own path can lead to fulfilling outcomes.
Vincent’s story is a testament to the idea that if life doesn't present you with a door, you can always build one for yourself. We discuss the importance of connections, lessons learned from failure, and the drive to create a life of freedom and purpose.
Grab a seat; it’s going to be an inspiring ride!
Takeaways:
- Determination is key; if life closes a door, we can build our own to succeed.
- Vincent's journey illustrates how passion and persistence can lead to unexpected opportunities.
- The importance of connections in life and business can’t be overstated; they open doors.
- Every setback can be a setup for a comeback if approached with patience and resilience.
- Understanding the balance between patience and persistence is crucial for personal and professional growth.
- Building relationships takes time, but they are the foundation for long-term success and freedom.
You can connect with Vincent on his social platforms at:
FB: https://www.facebook.com/vincent.pugliese.16
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/vincent-pugliese/
TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@vincentpugliesee
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/membershipfreedom/
Catch this, or any of the shows you may have missed, on all the major platforms at https://lnk.bio/daryl_praxis33 as well as on ROKU on the ProsperaTV app.
Be sure to subscribe to, connect with, or follow my social media outlets as well!
The music in this video is copyrighted and used with permission from Raquel & The Joshua 1:8 project © 2025 All Rights Reserved. All rights to the music are owned by Raquel & The Joshua 1:8 project © 2025 All Rights Reserved. You can contact Raquel at https://YourGPSForSuccess.Net
Transcript
I've walked through fire with shadows on my heels Scars turn to stories that taught me to feel lost in the silence Found in the flame now we're my battle cry without shame this isn't the end it's where I begin A soul that remembers the fire within welcome.
Speaker B:Back to another episode of A Warrior Spirit, brought to you by Praxis33.
Speaker B:I'm your host, Darrol Snow.
Speaker B:Let's dive in.
Speaker B:Have you ever been so passionate about something that you wouldn't take no for an answer?
Speaker B:Been so determined that when there was no door, you built your own?
Speaker B:I believe that when life presents you with a problem or an obstacle, then there must be a solution.
Speaker B:If you look hard enough or stick with it long enough, and if you never give up on yourself or your goals.
Speaker B:My guest today is someone who embodies this philosophy.
Speaker B:Vincent Puglassi is a father and a husband.
Speaker B:He's a former wedding photographer, sports pro, sports photographer, life coach, author, and someone whose determination to live life on his own terms is something I truly respect.
Speaker B:Vincent, welcome to the show.
Speaker A:Thanks, man.
Speaker A:I'm thrilled to be here.
Speaker A:Thanks for having me.
Speaker B:I appreciate all you do.
Speaker B:I mentioned in your bio, you know, your sports photographer, your wedding photographer, coach, obviously you didn't start off that way.
Speaker B:Where'd you start, your journey?
Speaker B:New York.
Speaker B:Right?
Speaker A:Yeah, Yeah, I should, so that I ended all that about eight years ago.
Speaker A:So I haven't shot professionally for about eight years now.
Speaker A:But that was the, that was the cornerstone of everything we've built in terms of everything building forward.
Speaker A:But, yeah, grew up in New York and, and it, it was built really from desperation and kind of failure like I think happens to a lot of people.
Speaker A:I was terrible in school, never got good grades, never cared.
Speaker A:Went through five different majors in college, community college.
Speaker A:Dropped out of all of them.
Speaker B:And you didn't like school, but you went to college.
Speaker A:You know, in that age, like, that's what you do.
Speaker A:You go, you, you, you're, you're, that's.
Speaker A:I, I didn't, I didn't like high school, that's for sure.
Speaker A:I like the social aspect of school.
Speaker A:I love the social aspect of college.
Speaker A:But I went to.
Speaker A:Because what else?
Speaker A:I, I, you know, we came from a hard working family.
Speaker A:I had multiple jobs, but I still was able to go.
Speaker A:And it was community college.
Speaker A:It wasn't some prestigious university, but you can kind of pop in and out and work and.
Speaker A:But I went through multiple majors on it.
Speaker A:Never could find a path.
Speaker A:And I think a lot of people, a lot of people deal with that.
Speaker A:I talked.
Speaker A:Even in the work that I do today, they're trying, but they can't.
Speaker A:They can't put their finger on it.
Speaker A:And then literally one night, like, I was a sports fan.
Speaker A:I was always a sports fan as a kid and sometimes too much.
Speaker A:So I cared.
Speaker A:Too much.
Speaker A:I cared.
Speaker A:I cared more about sports and music than I did about my own life.
Speaker A:And it was, you know, and I was 22 years old, and I literally had a nightmare that, like, you know, like, what am I doing with my life?
Speaker A:I literally woke up middle of night, and I moved back in with my parents at that point and, and, and went downstairs, 2:00 in the morning, and I saw my dad who came down for water.
Speaker A:And I said, I don't know what I'm doing with my life.
Speaker A:Like, I never questioned myself before.
Speaker A:I just kind of blindly did stuff.
Speaker A:And he.
Speaker A:Very succinctly, without even much emotions, and he goes, you love sports, you love taking pictures, you love traveling.
Speaker A:Why don't you become a sports photographer?
Speaker A:That.
Speaker A:It was that quick.
Speaker A:And I never even knew that was a job.
Speaker A:I didn't even know that was a career.
Speaker A:Like, nobody in school told me that was a thing.
Speaker A:If they would have told me that when I was 16, I would have actually tried.
Speaker A:Like, you could actually be on the field with your favorite athletes, you know, taking pictures of them and making money.
Speaker A:I would have been the best student ever.
Speaker B:Yeah, who wouldn't want that?
Speaker B:But prior to that, growing up, obviously in an Italian family in New York.
Speaker B:Do you have a.
Speaker B:Were you surrounded by the big, you know, family, like, you see, you know, the stereotypical family gatherings.
Speaker A:And I think a lot of that's like, some of that.
Speaker A:A lot of that's true, but a lot of it's movies.
Speaker A:Like, you know, a lot of my friends, like, there's some of it, but not.
Speaker A:We didn't have a huge family.
Speaker A:It was me and my brother and.
Speaker A:Yeah, but grandparents, you know, very, very like you'd see in the movies.
Speaker A:My parents were more, you know, more Americanized, you know, as they came here.
Speaker A:But there are a lot of those aspects to it.
Speaker A:But not like, it wasn't the Sopranos.
Speaker A:I'll tell you, it wasn't that.
Speaker B:My, My wife's Portuguese, so in.
Speaker B:She grew up in Boston.
Speaker B:So there was a huge communal aspect to that family.
Speaker B:You know, kind of what I would picture.
Speaker A:You know, I think, I think we missed the generation.
Speaker A:I think my grandparents, you know, they came over my, you know, my grandparents, you know, My dad's side were in Queens, New York, and I think they had a lot of that.
Speaker A:But, you know, as, as it, as it, you know, society of all, sometimes it all stays together.
Speaker A:We moved out to Long Island a little bit farther away from our grandparents.
Speaker A:Not very far, but far enough that, you know, we would see each other every.
Speaker A:We had the Italian meal every Sunday, you know, 3 o' clock, and the big huge thing like.
Speaker A:And we had all that.
Speaker A:But it wasn't, it wasn't like the, at least in my opinion.
Speaker A:It wasn't like the movies.
Speaker A:But I think, But I, I will say my friends that came over, they.
Speaker A:I think they saw it more than I did.
Speaker A:I guess the best, best way I could put it.
Speaker B:When you were, when you were growing up.
Speaker B:I know, because we've been friends for a little while.
Speaker B:I know a little bit of some of your backstory, but in your first book I mentioned you're an author.
Speaker B:In your book, you, you talked about sneaking into the stadium or getting someone who got you.
Speaker B:And can you tell that story?
Speaker B:Because I think it's pretty profound to what set your life up.
Speaker A:It was, it was, I was, I was 14 or 15 years old.
Speaker A:I always was a New York Mets fan and, and even from a little kid, they were terrible.
Speaker A:But I loved them.
Speaker A:Right?
Speaker A:It was like.
Speaker A:It was, it was my escape in some ways, right.
Speaker A:And it was.
Speaker A:And, and.
Speaker A:But then they finally got good and then they went on.
Speaker A: In: Speaker A:One of the most fun years, like as a 14 year old, one of the most fun baseball teams, they still talk about them and they win the World Series.
Speaker A:And I wanted to go to the parade, but my mom wouldn't let me, you know, And I remember I was at the pay phone at school, like, come on.
Speaker A:And she's like, you're not going into New York City by yourself with a million crazy people.
Speaker A:And it's like she made it sound so unreasonable.
Speaker A:It sounded fun to me, but nobody else was going.
Speaker A:So then the next year was opening day and I'm like, this is the last bit of that season.
Speaker A:They're gonna raise the banners and get the rings and I gotta go.
Speaker A:So now I'm 15 and I bugged my parents and they wouldn't let me go.
Speaker A:And they both worked so they couldn't take me.
Speaker A:And finally my mom said to me, she goes, well, if you can find somebody to go with, you can go.
Speaker A:Because I have to cut school because it was a day game.
Speaker A:And I got my friend Scott to go with me.
Speaker A:And then the day of the game comes and my parents go to work and I'm home, and I go to Scott's house and find out that his mom changed her mind.
Speaker A:He wasn't allowed to go.
Speaker A:And I'm like.
Speaker A:So I go back to my house and I'm on the lawn.
Speaker A:And I've heard the phrase, you know, it's better to ask for forgiveness than permission.
Speaker A:I've heard it before.
Speaker A:Yeah, but I never had a chance to use it.
Speaker A:So I sat there and I was like, I could either go home and watch the game on tv, I can go back to school, or I could go to Queens and see if I can get to the game.
Speaker A:So I got on the bus and I only had like, $30 or $40 and for everything.
Speaker A:And I get in the bus and there's nobody on the bus.
Speaker A:And then we get into Queens and there's a second bus.
Speaker A:And when I walk on the bus, there's nobody on it except this big, giant Italian guy, like, dressed all in black chains, like, kind of out of the movies.
Speaker A:Him and the bus driver and me.
Speaker A:And I go to the back of the bus because I'm a little bit scared.
Speaker A:And a couple minutes into the ride, he looks at me and he goes, hey, shouldn't you be in school?
Speaker A:Because it was like 11 o' clock on a Tuesday morning.
Speaker A:And I'm like, well, I'm going to the Mets game.
Speaker A:And I'm all shy and timid.
Speaker A:And he's like, by yourself, you're going?
Speaker A:Did you even have a ticket?
Speaker A:And I was like, yeah, I'm going by myself.
Speaker A:I don't have to take it.
Speaker A:I'm gonna get one at the game.
Speaker A:And he's like, now he's getting, you know, it's like humor to him.
Speaker A:Now he's like.
Speaker A:He's like, kid, this game's been sold out for months.
Speaker A:It's the hottest ticket in town.
Speaker A:It's like, how much money you got?
Speaker A:So now I feel like I'm being like, is he gonna rob me?
Speaker A:It's like he's asking how much money?
Speaker A:I was like, I got $30.
Speaker A:And he laughs at me.
Speaker A:He's like, ah, to the buster.
Speaker A:You believe this kid?
Speaker A:30?
Speaker A:And he just kind of ignored me.
Speaker A:I'm like, thank God.
Speaker B:God.
Speaker A:Like, he's not bugging me anymore.
Speaker A:And so I go to get off the bus.
Speaker A:I'm walking off, and I try to quickly go past him because I'm scared of him.
Speaker A:And he goes, hey, kid.
Speaker A:He stops Me one more time.
Speaker A:He goes, come here.
Speaker A:Like, come up the stairs.
Speaker A:I was like, what?
Speaker A:And he goes, all right, when you get to Shea.
Speaker A:Shea Stadium, he goes, you go to Gate B.
Speaker A:You ask for Veto Lali and you tell him the Funsy from the Waterfront sent you.
Speaker A:And I was like, trying to remember what he said.
Speaker A:He goes, you got that?
Speaker A:Like, yeah, I got it.
Speaker A:And I got the way.
Speaker A:He goes, now go.
Speaker A:So I got the bus.
Speaker A:Now I have to get on one more train to get the Shay Stadium.
Speaker A:So the whole time in the train, I'm like, I'm never gonna do that.
Speaker A:But I kept replaying his name over and over again.
Speaker A:Veto.
Speaker A:Laterally, Funsy, Gate B.
Speaker A:So I get the Shea Stadium.
Speaker A:I realized the place is packed.
Speaker A:Nobody's selling tickets.
Speaker A:And if and.
Speaker A:And $30 is not going to give me a ticket.
Speaker A:It's.
Speaker A:It's.
Speaker A:You know, everybody's looking for tickets.
Speaker A:So I'm like, either I go home or I go to Gate B.
Speaker A:So I go to Gate B.
Speaker A:I'm like, let me just see.
Speaker A:And I.
Speaker A:And I asked the security guard, I said, hey, is Veto La here?
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker A:I'm scared.
Speaker A:And he said, well, who's asking?
Speaker A:He yells at me.
Speaker A:I said, well, I'm pointing to nobody.
Speaker A:I'm like, funsy from the Waterfront sent me.
Speaker A:And I was.
Speaker A:I was so nervous.
Speaker A:I was looking down.
Speaker A:I see his hands, and I see him open the gate, this metal gate.
Speaker A:And he goes, come on in.
Speaker A:And I'm like, thinking I'm in trouble.
Speaker A:But I'm like, why would he let me in if I'm in trouble?
Speaker A:So lets me in.
Speaker A:And then he goes, wait here.
Speaker A:He gets on the radio and some nice lady comes down with a clipboard.
Speaker A:Come with me.
Speaker A:She brings me up.
Speaker A:She goes, you hungry?
Speaker A:I'm like, sure.
Speaker A:She gets me hot dog and soda and popcorn.
Speaker A:You want a program?
Speaker A:Sure.
Speaker A:She goes over and gets me a program.
Speaker A:Then she leads me along the concourse, down the stairs.
Speaker A:I could see the field.
Speaker A:I'm like, this isn't real.
Speaker A:Walk all the way down to, like, the front row of the load section, right behind home plate, and she pulls down a seat.
Speaker A:She goes, have a great time.
Speaker A:Let me know if you need anything.
Speaker A:And I sat there, and within a half an hour, the Mets get introduced.
Speaker A:They raise the World Series banner, they give the World Series rings.
Speaker A:I'm so close, you could see the diamonds.
Speaker A:Daryl Strawberry hit a home run.
Speaker A:The first inning.
Speaker A:My favorite player.
Speaker A:They win three or two versus the Pirates.
Speaker A:And I went home.
Speaker A:I was like, I was the happiest kid in the world.
Speaker A:And.
Speaker A:And the funny thing is, I get home and my parents had no idea what's going on because it's before cell phones.
Speaker A:So I get.
Speaker A:They're cooking dinner, cooking pasta, you know, good Italian family.
Speaker A:And I sit down and tell them the whole story.
Speaker A:And I'm like, tell them about Funzi and Veto and the home run, this, that, and.
Speaker A:And, you know, and.
Speaker A:And my dad says, where were they from?
Speaker A:Where was he from?
Speaker A:I go, the Waterfront.
Speaker A:And I didn't know what that meant at that time.
Speaker A:Like, it was the new Disney World.
Speaker A:They make dreams come true.
Speaker A:And my dad knew what it was.
Speaker B:And.
Speaker A:And so then I realized at that moment, oh, I gotta tell Scott what happened.
Speaker A:So I get up from dinner, I run across the street, I tell the knock on the door, I show him the program.
Speaker A:I tell him what happened.
Speaker A:He's screaming at his mother because he couldn't go.
Speaker A:I come running back home and I hear my parents talking and whispering, and they didn't know I came back home.
Speaker A:And that's when I knew.
Speaker A:My dad goes, he's got no idea that the mafia got him into that game.
Speaker A:And at that moment on it, like, ruined me for school because I was like, when I'm in school that I hate, there's stuff like this going on, right?
Speaker A:But the major point about that story for me was it made me realize.
Speaker A:And it came to the topic of my second book, the wealth of Connection, that Funsy in 10 minutes taught me more about business and relationships and networking than I ever learned in school or college.
Speaker A:He opened doors that he didn't have to open.
Speaker A:He made introductions that he didn't have to do.
Speaker A:He asked questions that he didn't have to ask, and he used those things to open up a door for me that he never even knew happened.
Speaker A:His bus left.
Speaker A:I've never seen Funsy since then.
Speaker A:On the way back from Shay that day, I was looking for him on the bus because I wanted to tell him what happened.
Speaker A:He wasn't there.
Speaker A:He might have died the next day.
Speaker A:Who knows, right?
Speaker A:He might still be alive.
Speaker A:Old man.
Speaker A:I'm still telling his story because he did all the things that we all should be doing on a daily basis in 10 minutes when people will spend a lifetime with somebody and never do any of those things.
Speaker A:So that his story is like.
Speaker A:He's like, you know, mythical, in my opinion.
Speaker B:Well, that's why I said, you know, you have to be so determined that if there isn't a door, you Build one.
Speaker B:And I think you've exemplified that throughout a lot of your life.
Speaker B:I mean, this isn't the only example that you have of not being able to be someplace where you just made yourself there, and then some great things happened for it.
Speaker B:So that's important.
Speaker B:But you have.
Speaker B:I mean, you've lived.
Speaker B:If someone were to look at your life now, they'd say, you know, pretty successful guy.
Speaker B:You know, they would never know that you hated school and that you didn't do well, but you lived some pretty lean years.
Speaker B:Like when you first met your wife.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker B:I mentioned in the.
Speaker B:In the opening you're a father and husband first, and you put that forward first.
Speaker B:But if.
Speaker B:And, like, how did you meet Elizabeth?
Speaker A:We met in college, so I.
Speaker B:That's where you had the fun.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker A:And.
Speaker A:And so I.
Speaker A:I was.
Speaker A:No.
Speaker A:Well, I went to community college in New York first, and that's when the photography thing opened up.
Speaker A:So then I freelanced around New York for a couple years.
Speaker A:Then my editor at Newsday said, you really want to go back to school, get a degree in journalism, really hone your skills and your knowledge on this?
Speaker A:I went to Ohio University.
Speaker A:I was already 26 at that point.
Speaker A:And that's where we met within the second semester there.
Speaker A:And we were together ever since.
Speaker A:And so we met, and then we graduated college and got jobs at a newspaper together, like, right out of college.
Speaker A:So that's.
Speaker A:That's how that all began.
Speaker B:But you were still doing some pretty humble beginnings.
Speaker B:Like, you didn't.
Speaker B:Even though you were, you know, professional sports photographer and.
Speaker B:And all that, you weren' like, what would be considered high on the hog, you had some pretty fine, lean, lean years, right?
Speaker A:Oh, 100.
Speaker A:Like, even.
Speaker A:Well, even the newspaper job, which was a dream job because I got to do everything.
Speaker A:Like, the president came to town.
Speaker A:I covered it.
Speaker A:You know, any big events happened, you know, I got to cover it.
Speaker A:But it still paid $15 an hour in.
Speaker A:In.
Speaker A: In: Speaker A:Right.
Speaker A:It was.
Speaker A:I won International Sports Photographer of the Year, and I was still getting paid.
Speaker A:You know, we were.
Speaker A:And the hard part was.
Speaker A:And this is where we came into entrepreneurship was I was winning all these awards, so was Elizabeth.
Speaker A:And we were, you know, we're gonna start a family.
Speaker A:We get married.
Speaker A:You know, she gets pregnant, we're gonna have a baby.
Speaker A:And I went to my boss and.
Speaker A:And this really changed my life.
Speaker A:It was.
Speaker A:It was.
Speaker A:You know, I'm like, okay, this is where I'm gonna get the big raise.
Speaker A:I'm making $32,000 a year, you know, baby, and the awards.
Speaker A:This is where I get my bump up.
Speaker A:This is where I get my 10 that everybody told me was going to be, which to me, I would have been so thrilled with, which is nothing.
Speaker A:When I look back on it, I go into the office and my boss praises everything that I did and all the awards.
Speaker A:And then he kind of rubs his eyes and he goes, but I can only give you 3% now.
Speaker A:My wife wants to stay home with the baby.
Speaker A:She wants to leave the job.
Speaker A:I'm making 32.
Speaker A:3.
Speaker A:3% is nothing.
Speaker A:So I said to him, said, I've never been belligerent, but I was like, 3% of nothing's nothing.
Speaker A:You know, it might be something of your salary.
Speaker A:And in that moment, I realized the dream career that I've been working for for 10 years was.
Speaker A:It's not.
Speaker A:I.
Speaker A:I can't keep doing this.
Speaker A:I.
Speaker A:I have to leave.
Speaker A:And I remember being in the door frame of his.
Speaker A:Of his office and being like, it's over.
Speaker A:I don't know what that means, but this is not.
Speaker A:So I went home and I called my dad, who we had a rocky relationship with, and he had his own business, and I had worked for him before, and I called just to see if I could do a little side work.
Speaker A:Now I'm in Indiana, he's in New York.
Speaker A:I thought maybe we could do something.
Speaker A:And he turned me down.
Speaker A:It's not even my dad's turning me down.
Speaker A:Like, this is the worst day ever.
Speaker A:Like, I'm rejected all around.
Speaker A:And he said something that changed my life.
Speaker A:He said, listen, I've been trying to tell you this.
Speaker A:You haven't listened.
Speaker A:Maybe you will now.
Speaker A:He goes, you have a skill, but you're not using it correctly.
Speaker A:And now I'm curious.
Speaker A:I'm like, what do you mean?
Speaker A:He goes, you weren't a good photographer.
Speaker A:You started out.
Speaker A:You've become a really good photographer, and you have the option to do whatever you want.
Speaker A:You can shoot corporate, you could shoot sports, weddings, commercial work you can teach.
Speaker A:You can do anything you want.
Speaker A:And you're settling for $32,000 a year in benefits.
Speaker A:Now, when you hear your dad tell you you're settling, usually it's the other way around, right?
Speaker A:He's, oh, just be happy with what you got.
Speaker A:He's like, you're settling.
Speaker A:So I went and I picked up the phone book, if you remember that.
Speaker A:I started calling different photographers and seeing if I could work with them in their business, doing weddings and stuff like that.
Speaker A:And they all turned Me down and I took the phone book and I threw it against the wall and I said, you know they say if you can't beat them, join them.
Speaker A:I said, well, if we can't join them, we're gonna beat them.
Speaker A:And I called my wife and I said, we're starting a business and she's eight months pregnant.
Speaker A:Not the best thing you want to say to your wife at eight months.
Speaker A:And she was like, what do you mean?
Speaker A:I said, we're gonna start doing weddings.
Speaker A:We're gonna start.
Speaker A:And literally had all of a sudden had a vision and a goal and built the business on the side for two years, nights and weekends, non stop while I did the job.
Speaker A:She left the job and within two and a half years we had paid off our house, became completely debt free and quit our jobs within two years.
Speaker B:Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's what I say.
Speaker B:You embody building your own door.
Speaker B:Like you don't take no for an answer if you know that there's a way through it.
Speaker A:Well, even, even to now, even in terms of the work that I do now, like I'll make offers every single day for different things that we do.
Speaker A:The amount of times people like, let me think about it, you know, maybe this and that.
Speaker A:Like to me, I'm not pushy at all, I'm consistent.
Speaker A:But if you tell me, maybe I'm going to ask you again, right?
Speaker A:Like when you tell me no, like if you don't mean it, say no.
Speaker A:And I have, I'm not offended by it, but so many people just, oh, okay, him and how, like no, make, make an offer.
Speaker A:Like, wait, you know, it's like the old book, go for no, just collect them.
Speaker B:Do you think.
Speaker B:Sorry to interrupt you, but do you think that your experience on the bus that day going to Shea really honed in your connecting skills that you might not have other wise developed had that not happened to you?
Speaker B:Or were you already pretty good by then?
Speaker A:No, I don't think I was.
Speaker A:I think, I think every experience, one of these experiences, life, they, they shape who you are.
Speaker A:And I would have thought, what if I would have stayed home and watched the game on tv?
Speaker A:What if I would have went to school?
Speaker A:I would have missed out on one of the best experiences of my life.
Speaker A:I always thought about that.
Speaker A:For 10 or 15 years, I'm like, when you want to go ask the girl out, you know, should you go back to your table and wonder what if?
Speaker A:Or should you do it when you want to make the business, when you want to make the sale, when you want to make the friendship?
Speaker A:Are you going to do the work?
Speaker A:And.
Speaker A:And I.
Speaker A:And I can see what life would have been like without it.
Speaker A:I would have went to school on a Tuesday afternoon.
Speaker A:I wouldn't have even known that was an option.
Speaker A:And I would have never seen.
Speaker A:So I think, what am I missing out on if I don't do this?
Speaker A:And so we envision this life of freedom.
Speaker A:We envision traveling the country.
Speaker A:You know, we envisioned living somewhere that we dreamed of.
Speaker A:And I know it's almost like back to the future, you know, erase from existence.
Speaker A:Right?
Speaker A:That's that picture that starts fading.
Speaker A:If you don't do the stuff your future is erased from, it doesn't happen.
Speaker A:So seeing having that experience and that blessing of having that day and knowing if I wouldn't have went on the bus, if I wouldn't have asked, if I wouldn't have listened to him even and followed his guidance, that there was an entire life changing experience right there that I never would have seen.
Speaker A:And I always keep that in my mind.
Speaker A:That's why I'm always sad when I see people.
Speaker A:Yeah, I'm afraid of getting rejected.
Speaker A:I'm afraid of being told no, what if it doesn't work?
Speaker A:And it's like, you'll, you'll never ever know.
Speaker A:And then when you help people do that, because that's the world that I'm in now.
Speaker A:And then they light up when it works for them and they realize they didn't get shot in the head from asking for something and hearing no.
Speaker A:And then you actually, when you ask for something, you hear no.
Speaker A:You actually learn how to make a better offer.
Speaker A:You know, it's like there's no downside to it, but most people stay in fear of that almost their entire lives.
Speaker B:Yeah, my dad used to say, what's the worst that's gonna do?
Speaker B:They're gonna take you out back and shoot you.
Speaker B:If not, then just go for it.
Speaker B:And he always gave me that encouragement.
Speaker B:You know, one of the greatest gifts my dad ever gave me, he was a blue collar worker like your family, hard working, individual.
Speaker B:And when I was, I don't know, 19, 20, something like that, I had an opportunity to, to move to Florida, where you're currently at.
Speaker B:And I grew up in a really small town, 7,000 people.
Speaker B:I was really afraid to leave, you know, home to go to a bigger city like that.
Speaker B:And my dad said, go, make your life wherever it takes you, home will always be here.
Speaker B:And if you ever need, we're just a phone call away.
Speaker B:And if you ever truly need.
Speaker B:We're just a flight back.
Speaker B:So never be afraid to go live your life.
Speaker B:And that was one of the greatest gifts that my father ever, ever gave me.
Speaker B:You know, the ability to just not be afraid to go live my life.
Speaker B:So I can see how that would help you.
Speaker B:I'm going to bring up a couple of things here for you.
Speaker B:I want to have you talk about these for a little bit.
Speaker B:This was your second book, the wealth of Connection I love.
Speaker B:On the COVID you say non best selling author.
Speaker A:I'm the only one.
Speaker B:What prompted the writing of this book and this is something I think you do really, really well.
Speaker B:Connecting.
Speaker A:Thank you.
Speaker A:It was, it, you know, everything that I think I've ever done, whether the membership or the live events or the books or the coaching, it all comes from an idea that won't, that wouldn't go away.
Speaker A:My book, my first book, Freelance the Freedom was an idea that, you know, for years I thought about writing and I started writing and then I talked myself out of it and it kept coming back.
Speaker A:And I know if I try something and it keeps coming back, then I almost get a resolve to it that like, okay, it's an idea that won't go away.
Speaker A:And the wealth of connection was another one of those.
Speaker A:Like, to me this is the cornerstone of business and life and relationships is, is the connection side of it.
Speaker A:And I think a large group of people blow it off.
Speaker A:They, they blow it off for, oh, there's nothing in it for me right now.
Speaker A:I'm not gonna, you know, I'm not going to value this.
Speaker A:They don't even realize that they do it.
Speaker A:They put lip service to connection where to me, everything, even in business, like we're, we're not good at a lot of things.
Speaker A:Like we don't run ads and we don't have, you know, split test all these technical things that so many people always talking about.
Speaker A:We've always just been really good at connection and everything's always worked.
Speaker A:We've always had relationships, we've always reached out to people.
Speaker A:We've, we've always been able to build community around it.
Speaker A:And with that came the idea of my goodness, like we've built a complete life of time, money, location, freedom, multiple income streams in all these different ways.
Speaker A:And there's no overall overhead with it because it's all built around relationships and there's not complexity to it.
Speaker A:So just trying to teach people that there's a simpler way of doing it that can lead to a really valuable lifestyle of those things that that people generally want and allowed us to just pick up and move to a dream home that we wanted in a dream location.
Speaker A:And it wasn't, I don't want to say it was easy because it wasn't easy, but it wasn't complicated.
Speaker A:It was all based around the concepts of this book.
Speaker A:That's what, that's why I wrote it.
Speaker B:I think the art of connecting is lost in today's technological world.
Speaker B:People are just always trying to sell, sell, sell instead of connect, connect, connect.
Speaker B:And I think that's again, something that you do really well.
Speaker B:I have been in sales for 40 plus years and I learned really early on that nobody wants to be sold to, but everyone wants to buy if you just give them the opportunity.
Speaker B:And you have to give them that opportunity, but by how you connect with them, you know.
Speaker B:And that kind of leads me into, to this next thing that you got going on.
Speaker B:Total Life Freedom.
Speaker B:This is a membership program where you're teaching people how to build the life they want, right?
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker A:And that's where it came from.
Speaker A:It came from just the idea of what are people.
Speaker A:This is the whole thing with business, I think so many people miss out on.
Speaker A:Like, it really is kind of simple, what problem are you solving, what problem you solving and how can you solve it?
Speaker A:Right.
Speaker A:So for me, we had built a life that I would get people that would say to be like, how did you, how did you do that?
Speaker A:And everybody's got something like that.
Speaker A:It could be, you know, like somebody in our group, like Mark Foster with storytelling or, or different things that people are really good at or people passionate about.
Speaker A:When you could find something you're interested in and something that people need help with, well, all you got to do at that point is really become obsessive about solving those problems.
Speaker A:So that's what I do.
Speaker A:I, I obsess about solving the problems of people that want that freedom in their lives.
Speaker A:You know, we've recently, you know, we've, we've rebranded that towards membership freedom, where people are looking for recurring revenue.
Speaker A:That's, that's the thing that we like, wait a second, how do we get this freedom?
Speaker A:Like, I, you have to dissect it.
Speaker A:I'm like, it didn't just happen.
Speaker A:And we're not, I don't think, just lucky, but I'm lucky I didn't get hit by a bus.
Speaker A:But like, we've really worked hard on figuring this out.
Speaker A:What I realized is the reason why I have freedom and the reason why I have, you know, I could spend the time with my kids and we homeschool, we travel is because we have recurring revenue.
Speaker A:And this was not taught to me in school.
Speaker A:What was taught to you in school is get a job.
Speaker A:And then what's taught to you in the business world is get business or get clients.
Speaker A:But when you get caught up in the client trap of now, your client work is expanding, you know, and now you kind of built yourself a job, so your.
Speaker A:Your client work is expanding.
Speaker A:The only way to make more money is get more clients.
Speaker A:Well, that doesn't sound like freedom to me.
Speaker A:Right.
Speaker A:When it requires your time.
Speaker A:And then we, you know, I would get in certain memberships.
Speaker A:I'm like, my goodness, like, they got a thousand people at $20 a month.
Speaker A:Okay, that's.
Speaker A:That feels significant when they have to get on a call once a week and then build their community.
Speaker A:So I started going down the path of recurring revenue and memberships.
Speaker A:And once we realized that, like, that's the path, and then multiple income streams around that, that's where my next book is coming from.
Speaker A:That's where the freedom comes from.
Speaker A:And now with our kids, 19, 17, and 13, I can sit back as we're going towards that, you know, that empty nest stage or, you know, whatever you call it.
Speaker A:Like, man, I had the time with them.
Speaker A:I.
Speaker A:We didn't waste it.
Speaker A:We didn't blow it.
Speaker A:And that's.
Speaker A:That's kind of what, you know, not kind of.
Speaker A:That's what we love helping other people do.
Speaker A:And, and you can't do that if you don't have financial freedom in.
Speaker A:In some ways in your life.
Speaker B:And what's great about the businesses that you've done throughout your life, as people grow to know you, you're not afraid to pivot off of it, even if it's been something you've been doing for a long period of time.
Speaker B:Some people get so hung up on the fact that, oh, I put so much time and effort and money in this, I just can't change course.
Speaker B:You're willing to change course.
Speaker B:Which brings me to this next thing, the two unconferences, which is explain the meaning of this, because it is so fascinating and totally necessary because it's what everybody who goes to a conference complains about.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker A:So.
Speaker A:So I, you know, we would do retreats for our membership and for our mastermind.
Speaker A:They were paid retreats.
Speaker A:Sometimes they'd be at our house, but often they were around the country.
Speaker A:We, you know, we went coast to coast with these retreats, and generally they're 15 to 25 people, but I had an idea because I kept going to these conferences and I'm like, I keep spending good money and I want to keep coming, but it keeps making me angry because we would hang out in the hallways and make all these amazing connections and that's where all my friendships would come from.
Speaker A:And, and business collaborations and getting asked to be on podcast, all this type of stuff.
Speaker A:But yet the entire event is built around, okay, leave the hallways and go to see all these different speakers.
Speaker A:And, and then I feel like I was back in school.
Speaker A:I never like school.
Speaker A:So now I'm going to this event two and a half days and it's speaker at the speaker at the speaker.
Speaker A:And, and one's telling you to start a podcast, the other one's saying, no, don't do a podcast, do an email list.
Speaker A:And one's saying YouTube's the way so you leave more confused than you start.
Speaker A:And yet all these amazing people that you can connect with are in the.
Speaker A: go to the networking thing at: Speaker A:And I'm like, who thought of this stupid idea in terms of this how events should be?
Speaker A:So we came up with the idea like, well, an unconference for entrepreneurs would be the opposite of all this stuff.
Speaker A:Kind of like a Seinfeld reference.
Speaker A:It's the opposite.
Speaker A:So we said there'll be no speakers, no stages, no upsells, no vendors, no pitch men.
Speaker A:It's going to be a hundred entrepreneurs, generous entrepreneurs that are looking to connect with one another and spend time and brainstorm and mastermind on all these variety of topics.
Speaker A:But they have freedom to go around and meet who they want to meet.
Speaker A:It's what I always wanted.
Speaker A:That's what, that's why.
Speaker A:Or the, the program we create has everybody's name, everybody's information.
Speaker A:Like you never see that an event.
Speaker A:You only see the speaker's information, but you never see the attendees information.
Speaker A:And what we do differently is we vet everybody.
Speaker A:It's an application process.
Speaker A:So you know, I don't want, you know, just some Joe Schmo going.
Speaker A:I want people that are good people, people I've talked to.
Speaker A:So we vet it all and then we did our first one in February and it was phenomenal.
Speaker A:I, I kind of expected to fall on my face in the first one, but the feedback was phenomenal.
Speaker A:And now we're sold out for next year and we just keep opening up blocks of 10.
Speaker A:We have a couple more blocks to open up.
Speaker A:And.
Speaker A:And we don't do any type of paid advertising or anything that people talk about.
Speaker A:It's all done through, you know, as the book, the wealth of connection relationships.
Speaker B:But again, building your own door.
Speaker B:Did the first one go smooth as you thought it was going to?
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker A:You know, it's funny because I.
Speaker A:I can overthink this stuff.
Speaker A:Like, I.
Speaker A:I don't want to say I can obsess on it.
Speaker A:I wouldn't say overthinking, obsessing on it.
Speaker A:Like, obsessing on this and that and this and that.
Speaker A:So we went through it all and, you know, we opened it up, I think, in April for ticket sales, and it kept going and we kept planning it out.
Speaker A:And by July, I'm like, I keep waiting for the.
Speaker A:When's it really going to get, you know, crazy?
Speaker A:When's the other shoe gonna drop?
Speaker A:When's it gonna kind of get really difficult?
Speaker A:And then we get to almost the event and, like, it hasn't happened yet.
Speaker A:Like, I'm waiting for it.
Speaker A:So it's gonna happen at the event.
Speaker A:I'm gonna, you know, what.
Speaker A:What are we missing?
Speaker A:This is what I kept saying.
Speaker A:What.
Speaker A:What are we not seeing?
Speaker A:That I don't know yet.
Speaker A:And I remember driving home from the venue Wednesday night being like, I.
Speaker A:It never happened.
Speaker A:That big shoe dropping never happened.
Speaker A:I think because we spent.
Speaker A:I think because we cared so much and we spent so much time thinking about it that we found many of the problems that would have happened and address them beforehand.
Speaker A:And it.
Speaker A:It went.
Speaker A:It went phenomenal.
Speaker A:I was, I, you know, I was kind of shocked because I thought this would be the test run.
Speaker A:But, you know, we had one person that's really great guy, very successful.
Speaker A:I told him, okay, we're going to change this.
Speaker A:He goes, don't change too much.
Speaker A:It's the only advice I can give you is don't change too much.
Speaker A:I'm like, okay, all right.
Speaker A:So, yeah, one of the reasons that.
Speaker B:It was so successful, in my opinion, I didn't get to attend.
Speaker B:But just from what I've heard and what.
Speaker B:What you've shared, is because you built the connections first, and you.
Speaker B:And you made the people who were coming feel like they were an important part of the event, not just coming to your event.
Speaker A:Yes, yes, that.
Speaker A:That's the key, is people felt included.
Speaker A:They felt appreciated.
Speaker A:They didn't feel, as somebody told me, like another number.
Speaker A:They didn't feel like.
Speaker A:And they didn't feel pitched, and they didn't feel like they had to sit through things they didn't want to sit through.
Speaker A:Like, we have a two foot policy at our event.
Speaker A:Like if you don't like what you're in the conversation, you use your two feet and go to another conversation.
Speaker A:Like you.
Speaker A:There was so much freedom involved with it.
Speaker A:And if you get tired, go to your room and take a little nap.
Speaker A:Like you're, we're, we're making it where there's not the FOMO of like, oh, you keep, got to keep going from speaker to speaker.
Speaker A:So it was a new idea, it was something different and obviously it hit home.
Speaker A:And now it's really exciting planning the second one.
Speaker B:And I'm going to bring up something else that you're super proud of and that I'm really impressed with.
Speaker B:This is your family.
Speaker B:And what really.
Speaker B:Anyone who follows you or who is a part of your world knows how valuable your family time is.
Speaker B:But what's really cool to me is that you're teaching your kids at an early age how to be industrial and entrepreneurial themselves.
Speaker B:Like the stories you talk about Dylan, I mean, your son will just tear anything apart and figure out how it works.
Speaker B:And he's.
Speaker B:How.
Speaker A:Including things working in our home.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker B:And how old is he?
Speaker A:He is going to be 14 in a couple of days.
Speaker B:Okay, so you shared something that he did at church with the electronics.
Speaker A:Yes.
Speaker B:Can you share that here?
Speaker A:Okay, so there were a couple things.
Speaker A:I'm trying to think.
Speaker B:The, the, the dog that everyone got to see.
Speaker A:Dog that I'm, I'm.
Speaker B:He put it up on the, he put it up on.
Speaker A:Oh, yes, yes.
Speaker A:Okay, so, so he loves.
Speaker A:I, I'll back up.
Speaker A:Like, he's always figuring out electronics.
Speaker A:He's always going through it.
Speaker A:So he figured out how to use a universal remote in different ways.
Speaker A:I'm not sure what he did.
Speaker A:Like get codes and he'll open up, he'll open up gates in communities because he's figuring out the codes.
Speaker A:Like, Dylan, you, you got to be careful with this a little bit.
Speaker A:He'll go to restaurants and all of a sudden he'll change the station from our table because he's got a remote that he's playing around with there.
Speaker A:So he's.
Speaker A:So sometimes like Dylan, you got to slow down.
Speaker A:Right.
Speaker A:Because it's could be a problem for the business.
Speaker A:But what he did at, at, at church was, he's got, you know, I don't, I.
Speaker A:And I can't tell you what it was airplay or what it was, but There's a.
Speaker A:There's a login thing at the church where you have to log in and put your name in, and they have a picture from the church.
Speaker A:Well, he went into it and, you know, hacked the system, whatever, and he loves our dog Coco, and he has a picture of.
Speaker A:And.
Speaker A:And he put a picture of Coco in there.
Speaker A:So every person at youth group that came into church that day, when they logged in, there was a picture of Coco there, and they're all kind of confused, but he had hacked into the system and made it to where they had to.
Speaker A:You have to see her picture before they could.
Speaker A:Before they could log in.
Speaker A:So silly.
Speaker A:Silly things like that.
Speaker B:Are, Are all three of your children as entrepreneurial?
Speaker B:Because I see them working hard and doing their own thing.
Speaker B:Are they all kind of entrepreneurial on different levels?
Speaker A:On different levels.
Speaker A:Like we told them from a young age, like my parents said to us, like, we're not giving you any money.
Speaker A:You know, we'll pay for your clothes and your food and your house and.
Speaker A:But if you want to buy things, this is what my dad told me.
Speaker A:You know, I was 10 years old.
Speaker A:I went, you know, we're admiring a car commercial, and he got up, he turned the TV off, and he goes, we are not buying you a car.
Speaker A:So I'll let you know that.
Speaker A:I was 10, not paying your insurance.
Speaker A:I didn't even know what insurance was, but you're gonna.
Speaker A:You're gonna work for it, and you're gonna earn it.
Speaker A:Okay?
Speaker A:So I was delivering newspapers at 11, saving money, and.
Speaker A:And that's what we did.
Speaker A:We bought our own stuff.
Speaker A:And I value that so much because of how it helped me.
Speaker A:So we did the same thing with kid.
Speaker A:With our kids.
Speaker A:And, you know, we're in a different financial spot than my parents were then, so it'd be a little bit easier to kind of, you know, not do that.
Speaker A:But we're real adamant about this.
Speaker A:And.
Speaker A:And they all entrepreneurial, you know, some are way more than others.
Speaker A:They're all working, you know.
Speaker A:You know, we have some that, you know, they're still.
Speaker A:They have to.
Speaker A:Like, we have one kid that has.
Speaker A:Has a.
Speaker A:A amazing skill set, an amazing niche, even, but he hasn't caught on to, my goodness, I can make more money in one.
Speaker A:In two hours doing this than I can working 40 hours in a job, right?
Speaker A:And that's where he's at.
Speaker A:And.
Speaker A:And so it's kind of fun to watch because it's like, we'll joke about it, like, someday it's gonna click and he's gonna be like, wait a second.
Speaker A:Like, I can do this.
Speaker A:But, you know, here's the thing.
Speaker A:I didn't value freedom until I had kids.
Speaker A:I worked.
Speaker A:I worked hard.
Speaker A:I worked a lot.
Speaker A:It wasn't until I had kids that I'm like, I don't want to trade all that time for money now.
Speaker A:And I.
Speaker A:And I wish I would have put myself in a better position before we got there.
Speaker A:Right.
Speaker A:Because the first couple years and they were little, we really had to go.
Speaker A:I think he's gonna have to figure this out.
Speaker A:And.
Speaker A:But I think, you know, we.
Speaker A:We love introducing to both.
Speaker A:Have a job, build a business, see what fits for you.
Speaker A:I know our middle son's gonna be much more inclined to freedom.
Speaker A:Like, it's just from our conversations.
Speaker A:So it's just a fun journey to go on.
Speaker A:But, yeah, we're trying to, you know, not brainwash them, but, like, I don't think most people get to see both sides.
Speaker A:It's usually go to college, get.
Speaker A:Get a job.
Speaker A:And then all of a sudden, a lot of them are 35 years old, then they call me and they go, I hate my job, and I want something where I have more freedom.
Speaker A:I want a business.
Speaker A:And that's when I start helping them.
Speaker A:But now they're.
Speaker A:They're digging out because they have kids and they have a wife, and they can't.
Speaker A:Or spouse, and they.
Speaker A:And they can't devote the time like they could when they were 20.
Speaker A:Right.
Speaker A:So that, you know, we're trying to avoid that trap with them.
Speaker A:But it's.
Speaker A:It's a fun journey.
Speaker B:When you were growing up, other than the Met story that you told, what was one of your.
Speaker B:What was one of your most memorable parts of your own journey that really, to this day, you can see, set you on the path that you've been on?
Speaker A:Wow, that's a.
Speaker A:That's a tough question.
Speaker A:At any point in my life or childhood or.
Speaker B:No, any point.
Speaker A:That's a great.
Speaker A:You know, I think you stunned me in that, because I'm.
Speaker A:There were so many little things.
Speaker A:Um, but that.
Speaker A:That.
Speaker A:That story with Funsy was.
Speaker A:Was really.
Speaker A:That was a game changer for me.
Speaker A:But.
Speaker A:But I.
Speaker A:Okay, I.
Speaker A:And it's going to go to the whole school story.
Speaker A:And I told this in one of my books when I was 16.
Speaker A:Like, I was not good in school, and I failed a lot of classes, and I didn't try, and I didn't care, and I cared more about girls and hanging out with my friends that I did anything in class.
Speaker A:But I remember distinctly going to the guidance counselor who was worried about me when I was 16.
Speaker A:And, and I'm in this room and it's a dark room with no windows and those orange, you know, university type lights, right?
Speaker A:And it's just depressing.
Speaker A:And she looks at me and says, well, what do you want to do with your life at 16?
Speaker A:And my smart beep answer was, I don't want to wear a tie to work every day.
Speaker A:Like this guy.
Speaker A:Which was, which was her co office partner.
Speaker A:This like 2x6 room with no windows.
Speaker A:So I don't want to, I don't want to go to work and wear a tie every day.
Speaker A:And she said, no, I'm, I'm, I'm serious.
Speaker A:And I said no, I'm serious.
Speaker A:Like I really don't want to do that.
Speaker A:And she kicked me out of her office.
Speaker A:And she, she's like, get out.
Speaker A:She was mad at me and, and, and I couldn't understand.
Speaker A:I knew why she was mad at me.
Speaker A:You know, I was sarcastic, but I really couldn't understand.
Speaker A:Like, I don't want to go down the traditional path.
Speaker A:And even in that moment I knew I will take less money, I don't need as much stuff.
Speaker A:But I, I knew, I think in that moment I knew the word, the freedom aspect of life was going to be more important to me than it was to other people, as other people.
Speaker A:Like, I'll go away to this college and have them tell me what to do and then go get a job.
Speaker A:Like, I would rather live off of baloney and, and baked beans in a, in a closet and do what I want to do, then have the traps of all these things society tells you you need to do and then be trapped like that for the rest of my life.
Speaker A:And, and I'll tell you, four years of floundering after high school and then finally finding photography.
Speaker A:What happened was I didn't have any of those, any of that baggage.
Speaker A:I didn't have a school to go to.
Speaker A:I didn't have a house to pay for.
Speaker A:I didn't have a car to pay for.
Speaker A:I didn't have a debt, own my cheap car outright, had a little bit of cash in the bank and I got to live my dream.
Speaker A:Whereas other people I know that would have liked to have done that, like, but I've already went to college and my parents wouldn't agree to that.
Speaker A:I had no expectations.
Speaker A:I had a clear slate.
Speaker A:So I went all in and I became one of the best in the world at it because I was able to do that.
Speaker A:So I really think that conversation with my guidance counselor and I still can't remember her name.
Speaker A:I wish I could remember her name.
Speaker A:That I still see your face.
Speaker A:But that, that was a.
Speaker A:That was a dividing point in my life in terms of this is what I.
Speaker A:This is what I believe in and I care about and this is what I don't.
Speaker B:What was.
Speaker B:Usually moments like that or thoughts like that come from seeing the world around us and never wanting to be that.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker B:What.
Speaker B:What was within your world that you just knew?
Speaker B:The suit and tie office wasn't for me.
Speaker B:Like who.
Speaker B:Who represented that to you?
Speaker A:I'll tell you this.
Speaker A:It wasn't necessarily the suit and tie as it was what happened to my dad.
Speaker A:So right around the same time, probably six months earlier than that, my dad has own business.
Speaker A:Right.
Speaker A:So here's the way I was raised.
Speaker A:Dad with his own business that struggled a lot trying to figure it out.
Speaker A:Mom in a good government job.
Speaker A:That's what I came home to every night.
Speaker A:My dad trying to figure it out and my mom coming home complaining about the office and my dad saying, even when we were broke, quit the damn job.
Speaker A:Almost every night at dinner.
Speaker A:Almost every night for my childhood, quit.
Speaker A:Like it was.
Speaker A:It was.
Speaker A:But.
Speaker A:So I had a choice.
Speaker A:Do I want to go the safe path and get a job that's, you know, you know you're not going to get fired if you try to get fired in terms of a government job like that, or my dad, who was always trying to figure it out.
Speaker A:And my dad was.
Speaker A:And I chose that.
Speaker A:But what I saw was he had his own business, he had a partner, and they.
Speaker A:They did.
Speaker A:They were doing pretty well.
Speaker A:And then one day I came downstairs, downstairs for school.
Speaker A:And he was laying face down on the couch, which I'd never seen him do.
Speaker A:I went to school, I came back and he was still there, just laying there.
Speaker A:And then the next morning, my mom with tears in her eyes tells me that his business partner emptied out all the Bit.
Speaker A:All the.
Speaker A:All the bank.
Speaker A:The bank accounts.
Speaker A:$134,000.
Speaker A:1985.
Speaker A:86.
Speaker A:So it's a significant amount of money now, let alone then all these construction jobs were not finished.
Speaker A:Hazmat lawsuits all.
Speaker A:So for the next two years our life was just a living hell.
Speaker A:And I watched him go through all that.
Speaker A:And he came out of it years later.
Speaker A: And by: Speaker A:Their house was free.
Speaker A:Like so it was.
Speaker A:It was cr.
Speaker A:So my hope my entire childhood was changed mid high school on because of that.
Speaker A:Probably a reason why I didn't care about school a little bit as much.
Speaker A:We were a little distracted, but at the same time, seeing what he went through and, and how much we didn't have time together anymore made freedom the number one thing that I searched for is I had a family.
Speaker A:And that's why when some people don't really care as much.
Speaker A:Oh, membership.
Speaker A:This is that recurring revenue.
Speaker A:What it does, is it.
Speaker A:I'm gonna leave this room as soon as we're done.
Speaker A:I'm gonna go play with my kid.
Speaker A:We're gonna go in the pool.
Speaker A:Like, I've never missed that.
Speaker A:So as this goes on, it's not.
Speaker A:Sure, I love making money and I love freedom, but what I love more than anything is the fact that we've been together.
Speaker A:And, and, and also I don't do partnerships ever, because I saw what.
Speaker A:Now I'm not saying they're inherently bad, but I'm not doing them right.
Speaker A:And every time we've even tried infringes on my creativity.
Speaker A:So why bother?
Speaker A:How about we create it without it so that those experiences shape me permanently, you know, for good or bad around it.
Speaker A:But I'm so grateful for what we went through because it also made me better with my money.
Speaker A:I think when other people are like other people, like my brother, for instance, you know, restless Holy passed away last year.
Speaker A:He was out of the house by the time it all happened.
Speaker A:He didn't see all the hell they went through.
Speaker A:And he kind of had a very frivolous attitude towards money because, you know, I saw and, and my mom has always said, like, you always saved, you always pay attention to it, even from like 15 because of, because of that.
Speaker A:So there, there's a lot of good that comes from the bad.
Speaker B:Absolutely.
Speaker B:I think a lot of.
Speaker B:I'm actually writing a story right now about how the bad is what sets us up for the good if we actually look for it and use it for, for that advantage.
Speaker B:Your dad was smart enough to tell you that, hey, you're good at photography.
Speaker B:You enjoy it.
Speaker B:What were you taking pictures of or doing that made him realize you were?
Speaker A:I, I still wonder about that because I didn't have a camera.
Speaker A:I never, I had a point and shoot.
Speaker A:And I think maybe I would go to games and I would bring my little point and shoot.
Speaker A:And he kind of just, it's just ironic that he said that because I, I, I don't know what he saw.
Speaker A:He might have seen me playing around, but I never thought about it.
Speaker A:I Didn't even know it was a career.
Speaker A:I never took pictures of any.
Speaker A:I don't remember.
Speaker A:I don't remember doing anything where I thought about it.
Speaker A:My uncle was very much into it, so we played around a little bit, but how he saw that, you know, I don't know.
Speaker A:But there wasn't, like, this prodigy in waiting.
Speaker A:You know, when I once.
Speaker A:Once I started doing it, I realized, you need to bust it.
Speaker A:I went to.
Speaker A:I snuck in or bought cheap tickets to yet Yankees or Mets games five nights a week just to learn, and it took years.
Speaker A:And I would meet her.
Speaker A:But the thing that was the thing that I used to sneak down to the photographer's pit and I would ask them questions every night.
Speaker A:I would bring the photographers pictures and print, and I would ask them for their.
Speaker A:That was like my.
Speaker A:The first school that actually liked was the press box, was the photo box of Yankee Stadium, because they were giving me critiques, and those were the people I wound up getting my first internship with, which was.
Speaker A:So there's a lot of grit that went into it to get to that point.
Speaker B:But again, that goes back to how I introduced the segment.
Speaker B:You didn't have a door, so you built a door.
Speaker B:Like, not everyone says, oh, I snuck down to the press box at Yankee Stadium.
Speaker B:Like, it's an everyday occurrence.
Speaker A:Yeah, it was.
Speaker A:Well, you.
Speaker A:You.
Speaker A:The thing is, with anything you do, you learn.
Speaker A:And one of my favorite stories from it was, you know, I would go to the Yankee games in particular, and you always have to sit up top because I didn't have money for good seats.
Speaker A:So I would go to the lower level, right?
Speaker A:And this is where it really started figuring out.
Speaker A:I go to the lower level and.
Speaker A:And what I did was I wasn't in the low.
Speaker A:I wasn't in the lowest part, But I'd watch the security guards, and I was like, well, they have a pattern to this.
Speaker A:Like, at the end of the inning, they walk down to the field, and then as soon as the inning starts, they come back up, and you watch that enough times and you go, all right.
Speaker A:So I would literally bring my camera bag on my back.
Speaker A:I would stand in the aisle, and as soon as they started walking down, I just followed right behind them.
Speaker A:And about halfway down, I grabbed an empty seat.
Speaker A:Then they would sit there and they would watch the crowd, and then they come back up, and as soon as they passed me, I would shoot back in the aisle and I would finish it off and get down to the bottom.
Speaker A:Within one inning, I was in the front row of Every game.
Speaker A:And from the front row, I could take better pictures and meet better people.
Speaker A:So it wasn't given to me, but it took also going to a lot of games to even figure that.
Speaker B:And.
Speaker A:And then, by then.
Speaker A:And.
Speaker A:And the other thing, I remember going to an Islander game, hockey game in New York, and I'd watch all these fans sneak by the glass to try to take pictures, and they would always get kicked out because they'd be wearing jerseys and hats on, and they were all excited.
Speaker A:I looked at the photographers, I'm like, they look.
Speaker A:They all look bored.
Speaker A:They look like they don't want to be here.
Speaker A:So I watched.
Speaker A:And then eventually I walked down and I would pull up a chair up to the glass, and I remember looking at the security guard.
Speaker A:His name was Jeff.
Speaker A:I said, jeff, another game.
Speaker A:He looked at me, he goes, another game.
Speaker A:And that was it.
Speaker A:So we were on first name base.
Speaker A:I'm Vincent.
Speaker A:I didn't have a press pass every night pull up at you.
Speaker A:Hey, Jeff, how you doing?
Speaker A:Hey, man, how you doing?
Speaker A:The entire season, I shot like a professional from the spot because I acted like I belong there.
Speaker A:Another game.
Speaker A:So it's just observing that stuff.
Speaker B:I.
Speaker B:I think you've said two.
Speaker B:Well, you've said a lot of important things, but two that really stick.
Speaker B:A, observing observation of behavior and people around you, and B, acting like you belong there.
Speaker B:Like, that's one of the things I used to love about Emmett Smith was he would just score a touchdown and hand the ball back to, you know, the ref and run back to the huddle because he said you're supposed to act like you've been here before.
Speaker A:Yep.
Speaker B:Like that's how you're going to be successful.
Speaker B:Act like you've been here before.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker B:I'm gonna.
Speaker B:I'm gonna ask you two questions as we wrap this up.
Speaker B:What is Vincent, the Vincent of today?
Speaker B:How is he different from The Vincent of 15 years ago?
Speaker A:I am calmer and more patient.
Speaker A:Without a doubt.
Speaker A:My.
Speaker A:The.
Speaker A:If somebody is listening to this and we haven't talked in 15 years, they'd be like.
Speaker A:And we actually talked in person, they would say the same thing.
Speaker A:He's not as much of a hothead.
Speaker A:Ev.
Speaker A:Every failed relationship that has happened in my life, friendship or otherwise, generally came from me overreacting to something.
Speaker A:Me being too charged up, me being too annoyed, me being too pissed off and.
Speaker A:And kind of just acting on that as opposed to having a little more patience.
Speaker A:I believe in patience and persistence.
Speaker A:I had too much persistence.
Speaker A:Right.
Speaker A:If you were going to measure that.
Speaker A:So the patience and just the, just the calmer, just realizing these things that I used to stress out about are not the end of the world and they are rarely ever the end of the world.
Speaker A:And it's, it's lend itself in so many different ways where, you know, there's times I'll be like, I'll be kind of heated for a moment.
Speaker A:I'm like, just give it a little time and respond like, as opposed to sending that text.
Speaker A:Right?
Speaker A:It's funny because, like I'll, and you know, I'll send voice memos to people.
Speaker A:I don't really text anymore.
Speaker A:And here's why.
Speaker A:I have so many friendships or connections or relationships go sideways because of texting, because you can't understand tone in texting.
Speaker A:And then all of a sudden a really hard sounding message leads to another hard sounding message and before you know it, you're verbally jabbing and then something goes wrong.
Speaker A:Whereas if we would have said it via voice, we would have laughed, we would have chuckled, we would have paused.
Speaker A:And I'm like, we, we mess ourselves up.
Speaker A:I think like your voice has almost a font to it, right?
Speaker A:Texting, we all have the same font.
Speaker A:So I could say something sarcastic that I'm totally joking about, but it seems real and people get like, so you just learn those things?
Speaker A:Like, I just, I think that's the big difference.
Speaker A:It's not that I'm any smarter or any more success, all that stuff.
Speaker A:It's I think the understanding, the patience and the surroundings around you have led to just life changing things.
Speaker B:And the last question that I ask all my guests, what does a warrior spirit or having a warrior spirit mean to Vincent?
Speaker A:I think it's, I think it's that term patience and persistence.
Speaker A:I, I really think it's like that, that is the Mr.
Speaker A:Miyagi of my world.
Speaker A:Like, it really came from when I first got my first, when I worked for the Associated Press, when I was first starting my photography business.
Speaker A:I, you know, but, or my career.
Speaker A:I was a freelancer.
Speaker A:I was working at Newsday, but I really wanted to work at the AP in Manhattan.
Speaker A:That's where all, like when I did work for them, I wound up spending the day with the Dalai Lama, you know, the Seinfeld cast.
Speaker A:Like all the, anything in the AP is a big deal at that point.
Speaker A:If you shoot it.
Speaker A:That's really what I wanted.
Speaker A:So I got an introduction, I called Jonathan Elmer, the editor, and he set up an appointment for me and then he canceled it.
Speaker A:And then we set up again.
Speaker A:He canceled again.
Speaker A:Eight times.
Speaker A:Eight times I called eight times.
Speaker A:We set it up.
Speaker A:Eight times him or his assistant canceled.
Speaker A:And then the ninth time I got on the train, I got to Rockefeller center, and it didn't cancel.
Speaker A:And I went up to his office with my big portfolio, and I laid it down.
Speaker A:And I'll never forget, he looked at me.
Speaker A:I could still see him.
Speaker A:He said, you know, I want to thank you for your patience and persistence.
Speaker A:And he said, without both, we wouldn't be here right now.
Speaker A:And I opened, and he opened up the portfolio and gave me the job.
Speaker A:And what I realized in the train home and the F train was if I.
Speaker A:If I had patience with no persistence, I never would have.
Speaker A:I would have waited.
Speaker A:I wouldn't have.
Speaker A:I wouldn't have called him again.
Speaker A:The meeting never would happen.
Speaker A:If I would have had persistence without patience, I would have been like I was earlier in life a lot where I was too ambitious or I get pissed off because he didn't call me back, and I get annoyed and I forget him.
Speaker A:No patience to.
Speaker A:To reach out once a week, you know, to.
Speaker A:And only once a week.
Speaker A:But persistence to do it once a week and that internship then catapulted me to everything else that I think that's like the yin and the yang that keeps me balanced.
Speaker B:I love that because I've done this for over 130 times now, and I asked that question each time, and that's the first time that that answer has been given.
Speaker B:So I appreciate the new look on the meaning of that to you, and I'm going to take it and use it into my own business in my own life.
Speaker B:Patience and persistence.
Speaker B:My wife will be glad that I use the patience, but the persistence.
Speaker A:Well, we're usually.
Speaker A:We're usually deficient on one of them.
Speaker B:Yes.
Speaker A:You know, yeah, it's a good question, like, which one are you deficient on?
Speaker A:Like, you know, some people it's patient.
Speaker A:Some people it's persistence.
Speaker A:Like, yeah, I'll get there eventually.
Speaker A:And I'll say to them, like, you're not going to lift 800 years old.
Speaker A:Like, you got to get moving.
Speaker A:You got to do something.
Speaker A:Yeah, I'll get there eventually.
Speaker A:Like to have a good balance of it to where I don't get burnt out with too much persistence, and I don't get too complacent with too much patience.
Speaker B:Well, I appreciate you doing this interview with me today, and it's just an honor to know that people like you are still out in the world, because we are both in a space where we know that there's a lot of charlatans and sharks and it's nice to find the true ones that are actually interested in the connection before the business.
Speaker B:And then the business happens because of the connection.
Speaker B:So just thank you for being a great person in this, you know, darkened space.
Speaker A:I appreciate that.
Speaker A:And yeah, we see a lot of it.
Speaker A:Right.
Speaker A:And I appreciate you saying that and just grateful for our friendship and honored to be on.
Speaker A:Thank you.
Speaker B:Thank you.
Speaker B:I appreciate it.
Speaker B:And if you'd like to connect with Vincent, his social platforms on Facebook, LinkedIn, TikTok and Instagram, feel free to reach out.
Speaker B:The addresses will all be at the bottom of the show.
Speaker B:Notes and once again, we just want to thank you for joining us on this edition of A Warrior Spirit.
Speaker B:Be sure to like or subscribe so you catch all the episodes.
Speaker B:We're now also on YouTube, but Roku, Spotify, Apple, podcasts and all the major platforms.
Speaker B:And remember, the journey is sacred.
Speaker B:The warrior is you.
Speaker B:So remember, be inspired, be empowered.
Speaker B:Embrace the spirit of the warrior within.
Speaker A:It's not just about the fight.
Speaker A:It's how we rise from it.
