Forever a free spirit…. From shy little girl to international ex-pat

Darrell Snow: 00:00:07

Hey.

Darrell Snow: 00:00:07

Welcome back to another episode of A Warrior Spirit, the show where the inner warrior shines in their light.

Darrell Snow: 00:00:12

Presented by Praxis33, the company that aligns your thoughts, goals and actions to create your best life.

Darrell Snow: 00:00:18

I'm your host, Darrell Snow, and today we're going to be talking about love.

Darrell Snow: 00:00:22

We're going to be talking about how to keep the honeymoon phase active in your relationship.

Darrell Snow: 00:00:27

And we're also going to be talking about helping females with release stress and reconnect with their bodies.

Darrell Snow: 00:00:34

And today to do that, I have Lexi Davis.

Darrell Snow: 00:00:38

Lexi is a love embodiment coach and she's coming to us today from Lisbon.

Darrell Snow: 00:00:43

So, Lexi, I appreciate your time and welcome to the show.

Lexi Davis: 00:00:47

Thank you.

Lexi Davis: 00:00:48

So happy to be here.

Darrell Snow: 00:00:50

You're currently coming from Lisbon, but that isn't where you got your start.

Darrell Snow: 00:00:54

Actually.

Darrell Snow: 00:00:55

You're kind of a world world traveler and lived in lots of places.

Darrell Snow: 00:00:58

Where did you actually grow up?

Lexi Davis: 00:01:00

I grew up in Seattle, Washington and was born in New York.

Lexi Davis: 00:01:05

And then since then I've lived a lot of different places.

Darrell Snow: 00:01:09

So, I mean, you're fairly young and for someone to be the world traveler that you are, what, what, what got you into exploration like that?

Lexi Davis: 00:01:20

Well, I think one of not so common is that we didn't travel when I was a kid and all my friends around me were traveling.

Lexi Davis: 00:01:27

And then when I got to college, I chose to study abroad and I went to New Zealand.

Lexi Davis: 00:01:34

And from there it was game over.

Lexi Davis: 00:01:35

I couldn't stop.

Lexi Davis: 00:01:36

So once I got to New Zealand, I knew that as soon as I finished college, I had to go live somewhere else.

Lexi Davis: 00:01:43

And so I moved to Australia and lived there for two years.

Lexi Davis: 00:01:45

And since then I barely lived in America just because I really like exploring the world.

Darrell Snow: 00:01:51

Well, it's a big world out there and you know, to.

Darrell Snow: 00:01:55

What, what was your college degree in?

Lexi Davis: 00:01:58

Care, health and society?

Lexi Davis: 00:01:59

It was a sociology degree and then a minor in psychology.

Darrell Snow: 00:02:03

Okay, so how does someone go from the U of A?

Darrell Snow: 00:02:07

Because you told me you were in Arizona and I know you, you decided to study abroad.

Darrell Snow: 00:02:12

And once you do leave the US and see the rest of the world, it is really easy to catch that bug.

Darrell Snow: 00:02:19

But how do you go into being a love embodiment coach and also a feminine embodiment coach who helps females, you know, reconnect with their body?

Lexi Davis: 00:02:31

Well, it wasn't a linear journey.

Lexi Davis: 00:02:33

I just, since I was young, I grew up with a.

Lexi Davis: 00:02:36

I grew up with a single dad, which isn't a typical story.

Lexi Davis: 00:02:39

And so I had to grow up really quick, really young, and I was an only child, and I lack that mother figure.

Lexi Davis: 00:02:45

And so I really became kind of a mother to myself and to everyone else in my life.

Lexi Davis: 00:02:51

And from there, I just got really curious about building connections because I felt so alone.

Lexi Davis: 00:02:56

So in school, I started to deepen my relationships with more people, and I noticed how similar all of us are.

Lexi Davis: 00:03:02

And then once I traveled, I saw people from other side of the world with the same problems.

Lexi Davis: 00:03:07

And I was really curious, and how is this possible when we're all so different?

Lexi Davis: 00:03:11

And yet when you boil it down, we really carry such similar issues that we're facing.

Lexi Davis: 00:03:16

And from there, I.

Lexi Davis: 00:03:18

When I moved to Australia, I got into yoga, and that's when I learned about trauma.

Lexi Davis: 00:03:23

And that really opened up my eyes.

Lexi Davis: 00:03:25

And then I got introduced to the nervous system world, and it just impacted me so greatly that I knew I had to share.

Lexi Davis: 00:03:33

And I also lost two friends to suicide when they were only like 21, 22 years old.

Lexi Davis: 00:03:39

And I lost a few other people to mental health issues.

Lexi Davis: 00:03:44

And so that also highlighted the problem we have with being vulnerable and the truth that we're facing and the issues we're going through.

Lexi Davis: 00:03:52

So I knew that I didn't want to go in the corporate world and that I needed to do something in this field around community and connection.

Lexi Davis: 00:03:59

And it just slowly came together.

Lexi Davis: 00:04:01

I left Australia.

Lexi Davis: 00:04:03

The last thing I did was volunteer at a holistic health retreat.

Lexi Davis: 00:04:06

And my roommate was this gorgeous woman, Daisy, and she was a life coach.

Lexi Davis: 00:04:10

And she was telling me what she does.

Lexi Davis: 00:04:11

And I was blown away because I realized that's what I'm doing every day for my friends anyway, so why don't I do this?

Lexi Davis: 00:04:17

And that's kind of where the journey started.

Lexi Davis: 00:04:19

And I've just always been obsessed with love and think it's the most beautiful gift of this life.

Lexi Davis: 00:04:24

And so I knew that I wanted to help people with that.

Lexi Davis: 00:04:28

And so I really just started learning so much about love, and now it excites me a lot.

Lexi Davis: 00:04:33

And with that, when I lived in Bali, I started to learn more about embodiment and how the body impacts us and how so much is stored in our body and not just our mind.

Lexi Davis: 00:04:44

And I started to see ridiculous, like, immense, beautiful results from doing this body work that I wanted to share it with more women.

Lexi Davis: 00:04:52

And it's just been.

Lexi Davis: 00:04:54

I've seen the impact on my clients, and it's so beautiful.

Lexi Davis: 00:04:58

So I also added that into the field, and it's just been amazing.

Lexi Davis: 00:05:02

Like, I just love to help people and.

Darrell Snow: 00:05:04

Yeah, well, you started off, you know, you Said that you were a single child with.

Darrell Snow: 00:05:12

Grew up with your father, which.

Darrell Snow: 00:05:15

That dichotomy in and of itself is kind of unique.

Darrell Snow: 00:05:20

How did that impact you as a child growing up?

Darrell Snow: 00:05:24

I have sisters, and I've helped plenty of female clients.

Darrell Snow: 00:05:28

I understand the hardship and the trauma that being just a female young adult in and of itself brings oftentimes.

Darrell Snow: 00:05:40

I also understand how cruel children can be oftentimes, especially women, they can be kind of catty.

Darrell Snow: 00:05:48

And having a degree in psychology as well, I'm always fascinated by the human brain.

Darrell Snow: 00:05:53

So how did your upbringing affect you as a young girl?

Lexi Davis: 00:06:00

In so many ways, I was very shy, very quiet.

Lexi Davis: 00:06:04

I was super reserved.

Lexi Davis: 00:06:06

I was just, like, so confused at the world.

Lexi Davis: 00:06:10

I thought I was the problem that my mom left.

Lexi Davis: 00:06:13

And then my dad also suffers from bipolar, so I was always walking on eggshells.

Lexi Davis: 00:06:18

And so I didn't really speak much.

Lexi Davis: 00:06:20

And I know how to listen really well.

Lexi Davis: 00:06:23

But, like, talking was really hard for me because I always was scared to say the wrong thing.

Lexi Davis: 00:06:27

And then my dad would yell, even though he never meant to.

Lexi Davis: 00:06:29

But, yeah, there was that element.

Lexi Davis: 00:06:32

And then I had this deep fear without knowing, of abandonment.

Lexi Davis: 00:06:35

And so I was actually scared to get close to people.

Lexi Davis: 00:06:37

Yeah, that's what I desired so immensely because I never had that, like, nurturing motherly figure in my life.

Lexi Davis: 00:06:44

Although my mom is present in my life now, and we have a beautiful relationship, but she wasn't attentive when I was young and so lacking that.

Lexi Davis: 00:06:52

That.

Lexi Davis: 00:06:53

That sweet, soft energy as a child.

Lexi Davis: 00:06:56

It just.

Lexi Davis: 00:06:56

It did make me.

Lexi Davis: 00:06:57

I mean, I was still pretty cutie, sweetie, but I also had this huge protection around me, this huge hard shell around my heart.

Lexi Davis: 00:07:04

And I used to be super blunt and a little bit too direct, and I just didn't have that softness in me because I was never demonstrated it.

Lexi Davis: 00:07:12

So, yeah, it shaped me in a lot of ways.

Lexi Davis: 00:07:15

But I would say those are the main ones.

Darrell Snow: 00:07:17

It's amazing that you say that, because if anyone is to watch you online or connect with you at your retreats or as a coach.

Darrell Snow: 00:07:27

Now, obviously, social media and what people see is only a part of the story, obviously.

Darrell Snow: 00:07:35

But if anyone were to ever connect with you in any fashion, all they see is an outgoing, loving, joyous person.

Darrell Snow: 00:07:45

And to overcome what you did in your childhood, you have a choice.

Darrell Snow: 00:07:51

You can either stay hard or you can find ways to soften that.

Darrell Snow: 00:07:58

What was the catalyst for you to choose the path of softness?

Lexi Davis: 00:08:04

Yeah, it's definitely a choice.

Lexi Davis: 00:08:06

I mean, I truly feel like it was something inside me because When I think about what was happening back then, I just had this deep curiosity for life, I think.

Lexi Davis: 00:08:15

And I just knew somewhere inside me, I really can't describe it, that there had to be more than what I was given.

Lexi Davis: 00:08:20

And you know, I did see some things role modeled through some of my friends, parents, relationships and a little taste of different things that I experienced that I was like, okay, if that's out there in the world, somehow it must be possible for me to access myself.

Lexi Davis: 00:08:35

And with, you know, there's always a almost positive side of trauma.

Lexi Davis: 00:08:39

With my mom leaving so young and my dad being an only child, my dad working a lot, I had to grow up super fast.

Lexi Davis: 00:08:46

And with that, that meant I.

Lexi Davis: 00:08:48

I take action.

Lexi Davis: 00:08:48

I know if I need something or want something, I need to do it for myself.

Lexi Davis: 00:08:52

So with that energy, it kind of shaped me in my ability to go after the things and to stay really curious and to make things happen.

Lexi Davis: 00:09:01

Because if I weren't to make it happen, it wasn't going to happen in my life.

Lexi Davis: 00:09:03

So that's where the good side of my trauma came in.

Lexi Davis: 00:09:07

And I know that doesn't happen for everyone with trauma, but that's just what happened for me.

Darrell Snow: 00:09:11

Yeah, you.

Darrell Snow: 00:09:13

I.

Darrell Snow: 00:09:14

My son went to Tacoma for culinary to after he finished culinary school here in Arizona.

Darrell Snow: 00:09:21

And so we visited the Seattle area.

Darrell Snow: 00:09:26

It is not what I would call the easiest of places to grow up.

Darrell Snow: 00:09:31

Yeah.

Darrell Snow: 00:09:32

What was your childhood?

Darrell Snow: 00:09:33

What was your experience as someone trying to find her way in that environment?

Lexi Davis: 00:09:39

It was hard.

Lexi Davis: 00:09:39

I mean the weather itself, like since I found the sunshine after I was able to have the freedom to started in Arizona with college.

Lexi Davis: 00:09:48

I have never like besides now in Lisbon, gone back to the cold weather because it just is invigorating.

Lexi Davis: 00:09:53

Like the sun is the best feeling ever.

Lexi Davis: 00:09:56

So yeah, it was hard and I wasn't even aware of it at the time because I just thought that was normal to feel, you know, this heaviness and density because the weather is so effective of that.

Lexi Davis: 00:10:06

And also there's this thing called the Seattle Freeze where people are very cold and not so friendly.

Lexi Davis: 00:10:13

Like when you walk on the street, not everyone's saying hi and welcoming you and there's not this warm energy.

Lexi Davis: 00:10:18

And I think that has to once again kind of do with the weather.

Lexi Davis: 00:10:20

And it's also become a very large tech city or Amazon, Boeing, Google, there's all these huge offices there.

Lexi Davis: 00:10:28

So yeah, it, it was hard because after I left, even like coming back to Seattle, I left when I came back from Australia, came home and I was so Excited and it was just like I was not connecting with anyone did not feel good there.

Lexi Davis: 00:10:42

I just felt really isolated, isolating and really hard, like very lonely.

Darrell Snow: 00:10:48

And again, that speaks a lot to who you are to overcome.

Darrell Snow: 00:10:53

I mean, you overcame the environment, you overcame the house situation, and you chose to help others embrace who they are.

Darrell Snow: 00:11:03

And I know you work a lot with women.

Darrell Snow: 00:11:06

I've seen photographs and videos of your retreats and there's such love and energy in the room.

Darrell Snow: 00:11:17

Like, how did, how did you bring that out and help others to embrace that?

Darrell Snow: 00:11:23

Because I know just from watching your retreats or just seeing the videos.

Darrell Snow: 00:11:31

For women to step into their femininity, and again, I've interviewed enough women and worked with them in my coaching business.

Darrell Snow: 00:11:38

For women to step into their femininity and embrace that part of themselves is not an easy journey for many.

Darrell Snow: 00:11:45

So how do, how do you work with that to get them to that level that is shown online?

Lexi Davis: 00:11:53

Yeah, that's a good question.

Lexi Davis: 00:11:54

So I had to find it within myself and it really happened through relationships and it especially happened when I lived in Australia.

Lexi Davis: 00:12:01

I was gifted the most amazing woman of all ages that just came into my life and loved me in a way that I've never been loved before and showed me what it's like to be loved, especially by a stranger and who instantly became family.

Lexi Davis: 00:12:16

And that ingrained something so deep into my body that let me access this level of love.

Lexi Davis: 00:12:21

And then obviously I was able to start to resource it for myself.

Lexi Davis: 00:12:25

And from there I got really good at building connections and community and I started to recognize, oh, it's actually so quick.

Lexi Davis: 00:12:33

It's so easy to build a deep connection quickly.

Lexi Davis: 00:12:36

It just takes me leading with openness and trust.

Lexi Davis: 00:12:40

And most people, we lead with a guarded heart.

Lexi Davis: 00:12:42

So when I'm there just being fully authentic, fully vulnerable, fully open and sharing myself, that softens other people to do the same and to feel the safety of that non judgment.

Lexi Davis: 00:12:55

That's also something I'm really big on, is releasing judgment and shame.

Lexi Davis: 00:12:58

And it's something that's really felt like.

Lexi Davis: 00:13:01

I'm sure we've all experienced it.

Lexi Davis: 00:13:02

When you meet someone and all of a sudden you're just like pouring out your heart.

Lexi Davis: 00:13:05

You feel really safe to share everything with them and you meet someone else and you're just super in your mind, you're very anxious, you don't feel comfortable, and it really comes down to an embodiment piece.

Lexi Davis: 00:13:14

So during my events, I carry this energy of like, I have felt it all, I have gone to the depths of every emotion, every feeling I have heard every crazy story.

Lexi Davis: 00:13:25

There is nothing that is too much that you could share with me that would ever make me judge you or make me feel like you're too much or something that I was, like, appalled that you just.

Lexi Davis: 00:13:34

There's no such thing as embarrassment in my space.

Lexi Davis: 00:13:36

And of course, I don't even have to say that half the times, but it's just the energy I feel because I've really gone there within myself.

Lexi Davis: 00:13:44

And then I lead with that, with vulnerability.

Lexi Davis: 00:13:47

I lead with these stories and these my experiences, and I connect people immediately.

Lexi Davis: 00:13:53

Something that I find most group spaces don't do is bring connection into the group.

Lexi Davis: 00:13:58

So, like, I'm immediately connecting the girls, having them do deep exercises, intimacy exercises together.

Lexi Davis: 00:14:05

And this just allows us to see, like, how human we all are.

Lexi Davis: 00:14:08

And I break that from the beginning because once we realize, okay, we're all facing the similar problems, then we all feel comfortable to be ourselves and to soften once we know it is safe that, like, we're not the odd one out or the black sheep anymore or all these, you know, stories we carry within ourselves.

Darrell Snow: 00:14:25

A friend of mine and I.

Darrell Snow: 00:14:27

What you do is a beautiful thing and it's a great gift to give to others.

Darrell Snow: 00:14:32

A friend of mine studied over in Thailand and she does Thai massage.

Darrell Snow: 00:14:37

And she always talks about how we carry issues in our tissues.

Darrell Snow: 00:14:42

And by doing these releases, it releases that trauma from your body.

Darrell Snow: 00:14:48

And I've seen it up close and personal.

Darrell Snow: 00:14:51

I've seen it done.

Darrell Snow: 00:14:54

So I truly believe I've seen people who have released that trauma, who are suddenly physically softer people, transformative in their face and their eyes and their expression.

Darrell Snow: 00:15:11

How is the Samanic yoga that you do similar to the Thai massage that she does?

Lexi Davis: 00:15:22

So it's somatic and all somatic means it's okay.

Lexi Davis: 00:15:26

So all somatic means is body based.

Lexi Davis: 00:15:28

So it's being and discovering through your body.

Lexi Davis: 00:15:31

And so it's kind of like that's the big umbrella and everything falls under that breath.

Lexi Davis: 00:15:35

Work, yoga, massage, all things can be elements of that somatic work.

Lexi Davis: 00:15:41

And there's so many different ways to access it, but the main point is being connected to your body.

Lexi Davis: 00:15:46

And with that, you can start to uncover so much.

Lexi Davis: 00:15:50

Like it first happened to me in a yoga class where the teacher was like, stay in this pose and breathe.

Lexi Davis: 00:15:57

And I wanted to scream at her.

Lexi Davis: 00:15:59

I was so annoyed.

Lexi Davis: 00:16:00

I'm like, are you joking me?

Lexi Davis: 00:16:01

We've sat in this pose for so long.

Lexi Davis: 00:16:03

Like, we do not need to stay here longer.

Lexi Davis: 00:16:05

And I felt all the frustration and I was like, you know what?

Lexi Davis: 00:16:07

Fine, I'll take one more breath.

Lexi Davis: 00:16:09

And as soon as I did that, I just started bawling, crying, and I was releasing.

Lexi Davis: 00:16:14

And I'm like, why am I releasing this yoga class?

Lexi Davis: 00:16:16

And I was confused and I was like, okay, I'm just going to surrender into this.

Lexi Davis: 00:16:19

Like, I heard other people experiencing things.

Lexi Davis: 00:16:21

And then I checked my phone and a year to the from that day is a year I was in this crazy car accident.

Lexi Davis: 00:16:28

So I was like, whoa, there is something there.

Lexi Davis: 00:16:31

My body is clearly storing things.

Lexi Davis: 00:16:33

And then I, you know, read the Body Keeps Score and there's so many other books, but I just started to experience through the nervous system.

Lexi Davis: 00:16:39

I started to understand that what all that trauma is is too much, too soon, too fast.

Lexi Davis: 00:16:44

So to unwind that and to undo it, you have to slow down and connect to your body and allow your system to experience the sensations which are the physical feelings in the body to the fullest degree.

Lexi Davis: 00:16:59

And when you do that, it eliminates them.

Lexi Davis: 00:17:00

It allows them to transmute and transform.

Lexi Davis: 00:17:03

And all of a sudden you're releasing these things that you're just carrying and signs of carrying that are of, of having your body store emotions are through tension, tightness.

Lexi Davis: 00:17:13

You know, there's all these ways that the body is talking to us, but we don't understand the language of the body.

Darrell Snow: 00:17:19

And it is different in each person and it holds its space in each person.

Darrell Snow: 00:17:25

And so as you're in this group session, how are you not a one size fits all?

Darrell Snow: 00:17:33

Because you're not.

Darrell Snow: 00:17:35

But how do you differentiate that for people?

Lexi Davis: 00:17:40

Well, I'm teaching them to, like, I kind of just touched on.

Lexi Davis: 00:17:43

I'm teaching them to learn the language of their body.

Lexi Davis: 00:17:46

I'm teaching them to get curious about what's happening in their body.

Lexi Davis: 00:17:49

And I guide them into their own bodies and things start to come up in different shapes and forms for everyone.

Lexi Davis: 00:17:55

But there's always usually something inside of everyone.

Lexi Davis: 00:17:58

So I'm able to show them by building that relationship with their own bodies and guide them through with several different kinds of tools and exercises to access different sensations and releases.

Lexi Davis: 00:18:13

And sometimes I also take them through my somatic embodiment flow, which is I break down each emotion so we can feel it by its own.

Lexi Davis: 00:18:24

So we can feel anger separate from sadness, which are often entangled.

Lexi Davis: 00:18:29

And then we can feel joy.

Lexi Davis: 00:18:30

And I take them through this flow that allows them to just feel each emotion separately.

Lexi Davis: 00:18:35

And I guide them to access these memories so that they can tap into the feeling of that and express it.

Lexi Davis: 00:18:43

And sometimes it's no, not always accessible, depending on how numb you've been or, you know, whatever.

Lexi Davis: 00:18:47

There's so much I teach them about that.

Lexi Davis: 00:18:49

But then in that it's like, okay, you understand that another thing about the body is you can access the nervous system through imagination.

Lexi Davis: 00:18:57

You can think about a time when you were hurt and like you're gonna feel that hurt in your body.

Lexi Davis: 00:19:02

It's right there.

Lexi Davis: 00:19:03

It's always accessible.

Lexi Davis: 00:19:05

So yeah, everyone's needs something different, but at the same time, like guiding them to access those things that are blocking or, you know, in the way.

Lexi Davis: 00:19:15

It's pretty easy for us to all drop into that because it's really right at the surface.

Darrell Snow: 00:19:21

And when you're working separately at your retreats or your sessions one on one with the females, how is that different from when you're working with a couple?

Darrell Snow: 00:19:32

Because you're not only a female embodiment coach, you're, you're a love embodiment coach.

Darrell Snow: 00:19:37

And you teach, you know, couples how to keep that honeymoon phase going and, and how to deepen their intimacy and build that trust factor that all relationships need.

Darrell Snow: 00:19:50

So again, from a man's point of view, men respond and act a little differently.

Darrell Snow: 00:19:56

But deep down we're all looking for the same thing.

Darrell Snow: 00:19:59

Love and care.

Darrell Snow: 00:20:01

But it's harder for men to bring that emotional side out.

Darrell Snow: 00:20:05

So how is it different when you're working with a couple then?

Lexi Davis: 00:20:10

Yeah, so in the one to one sessions, it's really beautiful because I can completely customize and personalize it, whether it's just a female coaching client or the couple.

Lexi Davis: 00:20:20

And oftentimes I work with the couple individually.

Lexi Davis: 00:20:23

So sometimes I do offer like a special couple session where they're both there.

Lexi Davis: 00:20:28

But I'm not necessarily like a couples coach.

Lexi Davis: 00:20:31

But through teaching the woman or the man different skills, it allows them to have their partner show up in a new way, especially as a woman, to express your emotions without projecting and blaming onto them.

Lexi Davis: 00:20:44

That allows the man to really hear you and understand and possibly access some parts of himself that he wasn't able to.

Lexi Davis: 00:20:52

And also teaching women how to understand men better so that they can access these parts of themselves.

Lexi Davis: 00:20:59

Because men have.

Lexi Davis: 00:21:00

Their feelings are way deeper than ours.

Lexi Davis: 00:21:02

Like you guys, it's not at the right there at the top.

Lexi Davis: 00:21:05

Like for us, we're like so on it.

Lexi Davis: 00:21:07

We know what we're feeling.

Lexi Davis: 00:21:08

There's so much feeling, feeling, feeling.

Lexi Davis: 00:21:09

But that's not the top focus for you guys.

Lexi Davis: 00:21:12

And so I teach women to create more space so that the man has time to get to those feelings and also asking him different questions besides his feelings.

Lexi Davis: 00:21:21

Because even using words like what is.

Lexi Davis: 00:21:24

What are you thinking?

Lexi Davis: 00:21:25

Or what does it seem like?

Lexi Davis: 00:21:26

Can help because it feels more tangible for you guys versus, like, when you ask them, what do you feel?

Lexi Davis: 00:21:32

You guys are like, well, I don't know what I feel.

Lexi Davis: 00:21:34

So, yeah, yeah, Just giving the education around that.

Darrell Snow: 00:21:39

Well, men, society tend to only allow us to feel anger.

Darrell Snow: 00:21:47

They shape us so that the rest of feelings are taboo or put down.

Darrell Snow: 00:21:53

And so at a young age, we learn to hide them and bury them and try, you know, deal with them ourselves.

Darrell Snow: 00:22:00

And unfortunately, we carry them in awful ways throughout our life.

Darrell Snow: 00:22:06

I just went on my own alchemist journey last year, and the things that I thought I had dealt with earlier in life because I had acknowledged them and understood them and, you know, addressed them, was vastly different than actually healing from them and addressing them.

Darrell Snow: 00:22:25

And it wasn't until my wife, We've been together 10 years now.

Darrell Snow: 00:22:29

It wasn't until she gave me the safe space to be vulnerable, to shed a tear, to show emotion, that I was able to willingly dig deeper, to release the trauma and become more connected with my emotions other than anger.

Darrell Snow: 00:22:51

And it does take a lot more work because men need to be heard and understood by their partner.

Darrell Snow: 00:23:01

And when we don't, we get frustrated, and that shows up in anger, and we have to learn a whole different way of communicating.

Darrell Snow: 00:23:11

And for you to be able to help couples understand that is such a huge service to so many.

Lexi Davis: 00:23:20

Yeah, I mean, we just.

Lexi Davis: 00:23:21

It's sad.

Lexi Davis: 00:23:21

Like, men have just been given such a bad rap, and patriarchy has a huge impact on men.

Lexi Davis: 00:23:29

And I think society is always just soothing the woman.

Lexi Davis: 00:23:33

And I'm very.

Lexi Davis: 00:23:34

I'm not a feminist.

Lexi Davis: 00:23:35

I'm very much equal.

Lexi Davis: 00:23:36

Like, I think we're both so important, and, yeah, it's like, we don't understand how much pain men have to carry and how much struggle they carry and how much numbness you guys have been carrying your entire lives.

Lexi Davis: 00:23:47

And you guys are constantly misunderstood.

Lexi Davis: 00:23:50

One of my favorite mentors, Allison Armstrong, always talks about how women treat men like a hairy woman.

Lexi Davis: 00:23:56

We are expecting them to show up and talk to us and speak like a woman, yet we want them to be a man.

Lexi Davis: 00:24:02

And we're just never understanding their true intentions.

Lexi Davis: 00:24:05

We think they're always doing the worst and trying to hurt us.

Lexi Davis: 00:24:08

And it's like, no, that you guys are always trying to make us happy and trying to, you know, take care of us.

Lexi Davis: 00:24:14

And we just Misinterpret everything because we don't understand how differently we both operate.

Lexi Davis: 00:24:19

And it's something I had to learn through experience, through showing up so poorly in relationship and emasculating my partner, my ex, so badly and, like, getting the worst version of him and wondering, okay, why am I bringing out this version of him?

Lexi Davis: 00:24:32

And I was like, okay, I gotta.

Lexi Davis: 00:24:34

I gotta learn more about men here.

Lexi Davis: 00:24:35

And I just went on a deep dive.

Lexi Davis: 00:24:37

And then I was fascinated.

Lexi Davis: 00:24:38

And I just felt so much shame and so much guilt for all that I did.

Lexi Davis: 00:24:43

But it's like, okay, well, this is what it teaches us, and this is how we're role modeled from our moms, how they treat and she treats, you know, blah, blah, blah.

Lexi Davis: 00:24:50

So it just felt like part of my mission, you know?

Lexi Davis: 00:24:53

And then growing up with a single dad, it's like, I've always loved men.

Lexi Davis: 00:24:56

I used to never have girlfriends.

Lexi Davis: 00:24:57

I actually used to not like women.

Lexi Davis: 00:24:59

So I always had this, like, soft spot for men anyways.

Lexi Davis: 00:25:02

But now it's like a whole different perspective on it.

Darrell Snow: 00:25:05

It's wonderful that you actually took the time to dive in because we at our core, basically are still all hunter gatherers, and the man is still trying to provide and, you know, do well by his woman and be, quote, unquote, the man of the house.

Darrell Snow: 00:25:28

You know, there's still that underlying patriarchal dichotomy, you know, and I love it.

Darrell Snow: 00:25:37

Like, in our household, my wife and I, we don't have gender roles like one cooks and one cleans and you do this.

Darrell Snow: 00:25:46

No, we do it all as a partnership.

Darrell Snow: 00:25:49

But it's taken even 10 years into the relationship, it's taken us a lot of work and effort to learn how to just communicate and not talk to each other, but communicate.

Darrell Snow: 00:26:01

So that one of the mistakes that I find that we've made and that I see others make is that we want our partner to respond to us in the way we want responded, and we want to talk to them in our language instead of theirs.

Darrell Snow: 00:26:18

And learning that the two love languages and the two response languages are different, and there's a vast difference between hearing and listening.

Lexi Davis: 00:26:29

Oh, yeah.

Lexi Davis: 00:26:31

Yes.

Lexi Davis: 00:26:31

That's something my partner and I are addressing right now.

Lexi Davis: 00:26:33

It's.

Lexi Davis: 00:26:34

Yeah.

Lexi Davis: 00:26:35

How to actually listen.

Lexi Davis: 00:26:36

To understand versus listening.

Lexi Davis: 00:26:38

To prove your point and remembering that we are on the same team.

Lexi Davis: 00:26:42

And when we're both triggered, when any two couples or any humans are triggered going at each other, it is so hard.

Lexi Davis: 00:26:49

It is very rarely productive.

Lexi Davis: 00:26:52

And it brings out the worst in you.

Lexi Davis: 00:26:53

And it's like you, someone has to break the cycle and be responsible and say, we need to pause here and come back to this in a moment.

Lexi Davis: 00:27:00

Because, yeah, communication is the most important part of relationships.

Lexi Davis: 00:27:05

And it's the hardest because we both are coming.

Lexi Davis: 00:27:07

You're trying to combine two separate lives with a whole different experience versus like trauma, communication, all these different things and come together and you're just constantly misunderstanding each other, misinterpreting.

Lexi Davis: 00:27:20

And so it's like your needs are not being met.

Lexi Davis: 00:27:22

How did you not know I needed this?

Lexi Davis: 00:27:23

It's like all these things are combining your lives with someone else.

Lexi Davis: 00:27:26

And it takes time.

Lexi Davis: 00:27:28

It is not an overnight process.

Lexi Davis: 00:27:30

And it really takes.

Lexi Davis: 00:27:31

Presence and conflict repair is essential to that never ending honeymoon phase.

Lexi Davis: 00:27:37

It's like, you really got to learn how to move through that.

Lexi Davis: 00:27:39

Not sweep things under the rug, not avoid it, not have a resolution where you just build the separation and separation and this tension just keeps growing because you're not addressing it.

Lexi Davis: 00:27:48

Like, all these things go wrong when we don't clear up the communication.

Lexi Davis: 00:27:52

And it's not easy.

Lexi Davis: 00:27:53

It is not fun at times, it is disgust.

Lexi Davis: 00:27:56

Like, it is so uncomfortable and nobody likes it.

Lexi Davis: 00:27:59

Neither partner is enjoying it.

Lexi Davis: 00:28:00

But you have to do it.

Lexi Davis: 00:28:02

And when you do, that's when the intimacy comes.

Lexi Davis: 00:28:04

Like, connection is a portal to intimacy because on the other side it's like, oh, okay, I feel more loved now.

Lexi Davis: 00:28:12

Now I understand you better.

Lexi Davis: 00:28:13

And it's like, but we forget that in the moment.

Lexi Davis: 00:28:15

But yeah, it does.

Darrell Snow: 00:28:17

Well, the, the thing that I found in my own personal relationship is that we each try to respond based on how others have responded to the situation with us instead of how our partner is going to respond.

Darrell Snow: 00:28:34

Because like you said, they come at it with a whole different set of experiences.

Darrell Snow: 00:28:38

And so we preemptively think that that's going to be the same outcome.

Darrell Snow: 00:28:42

And so then we're in a fight about something that was never even going to happen and we try to defend our position.

Darrell Snow: 00:28:53

So we're answering to defend instead of respond to what was actually being said, which psychologically screws up what we actually heard anyway.

Lexi Davis: 00:29:04

Yeah, exactly.

Lexi Davis: 00:29:06

It's so it's, it's hard.

Lexi Davis: 00:29:08

And in the moments, it's hard to catch it too, because then you're triggered.

Lexi Davis: 00:29:12

And then when you feel that, then you're like, it is so hard to stay in your heart and to really just listen.

Lexi Davis: 00:29:16

Okay?

Lexi Davis: 00:29:17

Right now he's actually bringing up the past, which has nothing to do with me, but he's taking it on to me.

Lexi Davis: 00:29:22

So then I'm Feeling, but to like be the bigger person and to call it out in the moment.

Lexi Davis: 00:29:26

And it's also their responsibility to say actually hey, so there's so many layers and it's, it's like you said, like it's just not.

Lexi Davis: 00:29:33

It takes time and it takes such deep self awareness, reflection.

Lexi Davis: 00:29:37

And that's why it's really important if you are listening to this podcast and if you're on this journey, you have to be with someone that is also growth minded.

Lexi Davis: 00:29:44

You have to be with someone that is also willing to take responsibility, to have self awareness, to take self accountability and to look at their stuff.

Lexi Davis: 00:29:52

Because both of your things are going to come up and relationships are the ultimate mirror.

Lexi Davis: 00:29:56

They're going to show you everything you want to see and that you do want to see about yourself.

Lexi Davis: 00:30:02

But they also are going to be reflected that too.

Lexi Davis: 00:30:04

And if they can't take that responsibility and have that awareness to look at, okay, what's my part in this?

Lexi Davis: 00:30:10

Then it's never going to, you're never going to find that resolution and it won't work out long term.

Lexi Davis: 00:30:14

I don't believe.

Lexi Davis: 00:30:15

Because one person can be doing all the work, it definitely requires both people to be doing that.

Darrell Snow: 00:30:20

Absolutely.

Darrell Snow: 00:30:21

It has to be a partnership.

Darrell Snow: 00:30:23

I tell people all the time love and relationships is not a 50, 50 deal because what if I don't like the 50% you're giving?

Darrell Snow: 00:30:34

It has to be a hundred, 100, you know, in effort.

Darrell Snow: 00:30:39

And I find oftentimes my wife and I, what one of the things that we're arguing about is who's being nice to the other.

Darrell Snow: 00:30:47

Not are you being nice but you're trying to do something for, for your partner.

Darrell Snow: 00:30:53

And because of their independence and strong willed nature too, they're not willing to accept that help as love and help.

Darrell Snow: 00:31:05

They're accepting it as squashing their independence.

Darrell Snow: 00:31:09

And so we find one of our biggest arguments is who's being too nice to the other.

Darrell Snow: 00:31:15

And it's been a learning curve to balance the fact that we are on the same team.

Darrell Snow: 00:31:20

We are not squashing the other's independence.

Darrell Snow: 00:31:24

We just love and care about each other enough to want to help and do stuff, you know, for the other person.

Lexi Davis: 00:31:31

Yeah.

Darrell Snow: 00:31:31

And I think that comes from the man's society too of always having to be the one to.

Lexi Davis: 00:31:38

Oh yeah, the lone wolf.

Lexi Davis: 00:31:41

Yeah, the lone wolf archetype for men for sure.

Lexi Davis: 00:31:43

And I also had that as a woman, you know, it's not just men or women.

Lexi Davis: 00:31:47

I very much was a lone wolf my whole life because I couldn't depend on anyone.

Lexi Davis: 00:31:51

Like my mom left me.

Lexi Davis: 00:31:52

If my mom's gonna leave me, anyone could leave me.

Lexi Davis: 00:31:53

So I to this day know exactly how to do everything on my own.

Lexi Davis: 00:31:58

I'm extremely resourceful, I'm extremely independent.

Lexi Davis: 00:32:00

And thus I had to learn even like a whole huge journey to soften and reach my feminine.

Lexi Davis: 00:32:06

And that's why I created Soft Girl Season, which is one of my pre recorded courses that helps women to soften to receive.

Lexi Davis: 00:32:14

When your man is trying to provide for you or give you or take care of you.

Lexi Davis: 00:32:17

Most women do not know how to accept it because I sure didn't and I find it in so many of my clients.

Lexi Davis: 00:32:22

So this program was developed to help women to actually see, like it's okay to accept help.

Lexi Davis: 00:32:28

It doesn't mean that you can't do it yourself.

Lexi Davis: 00:32:31

It doesn't mean you don't know how to do it yourself.

Lexi Davis: 00:32:33

It doesn't mean that they think you are pathetic or weak or any of these things silly things we have in our head.

Lexi Davis: 00:32:38

And instead it brings them joy when you let them help you.

Lexi Davis: 00:32:42

And I just found that it's such a necessary skill especially for women to learn because our actual design is receivership.

Lexi Davis: 00:32:51

Like we are meant to receive.

Lexi Davis: 00:32:52

And it's not just like receiving gifts or something.

Lexi Davis: 00:32:55

It's like receiving the moment, feeling the pleasure, feeling the joy and expressing that like that's we're so good at expressing.

Lexi Davis: 00:33:02

And so yeah, I just think it's a really important skill that women need to develop and a lot of us haven't because of this independence in society has raised us in a very masculine way.

Lexi Davis: 00:33:12

Every human being, therefore we don't know how to receive.

Darrell Snow: 00:33:16

And that is exactly what, what our issue is in, in this household.

Darrell Snow: 00:33:23

Neither of us is we're great givers, fantastic givers.

Darrell Snow: 00:33:27

We're very poor receivers.

Darrell Snow: 00:33:29

And you know, it's interesting because not only are we poor receivers, but then the giver is trying to give in the language that we like to be given to.

Darrell Snow: 00:33:40

So now we're giving in the wrong language and we're receiving in a horrible language.

Darrell Snow: 00:33:44

And it's just a lot of relationships are a lot of work.

Darrell Snow: 00:33:48

And that's the one thing about society today.

Darrell Snow: 00:33:51

You're vastly younger than, than I am.

Darrell Snow: 00:33:55

But you know, I look at my grandparents or my great grandparents generation and I see people who are together 40, 50, 60 years and they stuck through the hardships of relationships, you know, and today it's such a disposable society.

Darrell Snow: 00:34:13

If you know, you don't like the one thing that they said then you're ready to walk out the door and you're not willing to put in the work.

Darrell Snow: 00:34:20

The one thing that I, that I caveat that with is when I looked at my grandparents, I saw my grandmother.

Darrell Snow: 00:34:28

I had two sets of grandparents, like many, one very communicative, very much, you know, partnership and one a very much a dictatorship and an authoritarian where she never expressed her opinion at all.

Darrell Snow: 00:34:45

And I remember as an 18 year old young man walking out of their house for the very last time, looking at my grandmother and go, I never want a woman like you.

Darrell Snow: 00:34:56

You guys have been together 50 years and I was thinking in my head, I never want someone who can't express themselves or stand up for their own opinion or bring something to light.

Darrell Snow: 00:35:08

And you know, I think there has to be that balance between, you know, not being the doormat, but yet being strong enough to be a giver and a receiver.

Lexi Davis: 00:35:18

It's hard.

Lexi Davis: 00:35:19

Yeah.

Lexi Davis: 00:35:20

And I don't, sadly, most people haven't been roman the perfect parents or like the, you know, even a healthy man in their life or a healthy woman in their life that actually understands like the, the true gifts of both sides.

Lexi Davis: 00:35:34

So yeah, it's, and in that, like you said, it's like, okay, I saw that and I knew I didn't want that.

Lexi Davis: 00:35:39

So there's also the gift in that.

Lexi Davis: 00:35:40

But yeah, it's really sad, the suppression that a lot of women have.

Lexi Davis: 00:35:44

And also same with men, like there's so many times when I had this hard problem and my actually even my current partner would present me their truth love, like, okay, he's actually being vulnerable.

Lexi Davis: 00:35:54

This is a moment he's being vulnerable with me.

Lexi Davis: 00:35:56

And then I shut down because what he's saying, I'm like taking it personal and all of a sudden like now it's about me and he's like, well, now I don't feel safe to be vulnerable with you.

Lexi Davis: 00:36:04

And this, men experience this so much because once again, that misinterpretation of them.

Lexi Davis: 00:36:10

But men, it's very often for them to not open up because they haven't opened up their whole lives.

Lexi Davis: 00:36:15

And then when they finally do, it's either, you know, they could fumble it a little bit or say it really directly, which is super hard for us women to hear sometimes.

Lexi Davis: 00:36:22

And then we think there's something wrong with us and really that's not what they're saying and da, da, da, da.

Lexi Davis: 00:36:27

But anyway, so it just creates this cycle of a lot of us have so much depression and things we haven't shared within ourselves.

Lexi Davis: 00:36:33

And that doesn't create for any sort of healthy dynamics.

Lexi Davis: 00:36:36

And it's really important to be able to share in that way and to also receive what your partner is saying.

Darrell Snow: 00:36:42

I think that's.

Darrell Snow: 00:36:43

That's a huge point right there.

Darrell Snow: 00:36:45

You have to be able to acknowledge and witness, hey, my partner is being vulnerable.

Darrell Snow: 00:36:52

Stop making it about me and be that safe space for them to be vulnerable.

Darrell Snow: 00:37:00

We're both psychology majors or yours is a minor, but you have that background.

Darrell Snow: 00:37:06

I've traveled all over the United States and lived many, many places.

Darrell Snow: 00:37:11

You've traveled all over the world and live many places.

Darrell Snow: 00:37:14

My sister once asked me, you know, because I would literally throw a dart at a map.

Darrell Snow: 00:37:20

Wherever it landed is where I'd move, you know, and she's like, well, aren't you afraid?

Darrell Snow: 00:37:26

Like, you're always moving?

Darrell Snow: 00:37:28

And I'm like, no, people are people.

Darrell Snow: 00:37:29

If you treat them nice, they'll treat you nice back.

Darrell Snow: 00:37:31

If you're an asshole, they're going to be an asshole.

Darrell Snow: 00:37:33

Do you find that same worldwide, or is there a part of the region where you just wouldn't go again?

Lexi Davis: 00:37:40

Absolutely not.

Lexi Davis: 00:37:41

I think people even more so outside of America are so friendly.

Lexi Davis: 00:37:45

And I've never held the belief that it's hard to make friends or meet people.

Lexi Davis: 00:37:49

And I constantly show people that because I've lived so many different places of the world, and I always find my people, I always find really beautiful, warm, friendly, kind people.

Lexi Davis: 00:37:59

They are exist all over the world.

Lexi Davis: 00:38:01

And I bring that also to my clients with relationships.

Lexi Davis: 00:38:04

I don't care how small of a town you're in.

Lexi Davis: 00:38:06

I have one client who was really stubborn with me.

Lexi Davis: 00:38:09

She's like, you don't understand, Lexi.

Lexi Davis: 00:38:10

I live in the smallest town in Canada.

Lexi Davis: 00:38:13

And I was like, I do understand.

Lexi Davis: 00:38:15

And you will find your person no matter where you.

Lexi Davis: 00:38:18

Wherever you're meant to be, you're going to find your person.

Lexi Davis: 00:38:20

Or, you know, there's so many ways it can happen.

Lexi Davis: 00:38:22

And she found the perfect man.

Lexi Davis: 00:38:24

And I just.

Lexi Davis: 00:38:26

It's.

Lexi Davis: 00:38:26

It really, truly comes down to belief with that aspect, because I've also met friends that went to Melbourne, Australia, and they're like, I met the worst people.

Lexi Davis: 00:38:34

I don't like the people there.

Lexi Davis: 00:38:35

And I had the exact opposite experience.

Lexi Davis: 00:38:37

I met some of my favorite humans in the entire world there.

Lexi Davis: 00:38:41

So that can happen anywhere.

Lexi Davis: 00:38:43

And of course, there are some places where maybe it's not so much your people.

Lexi Davis: 00:38:48

Like, I actually did struggle with that in Seattle, but I still had people that were there.

Lexi Davis: 00:38:52

Like you said, there's always going to be nice people if you are nice to them.

Lexi Davis: 00:38:56

So I fully believe you can find great people everywhere.

Darrell Snow: 00:39:00

I think that's absolutely true.

Darrell Snow: 00:39:02

And I think it's the energy that we bring to it.

Darrell Snow: 00:39:04

You know, if we're, I mean, we're all energetic beings and we're all energy.

Darrell Snow: 00:39:10

And your energy, depending on how in tuned you are with it, can lead your.

Darrell Snow: 00:39:15

Like your energy can lead before you even enter a room.

Darrell Snow: 00:39:18

So the energy changes once you're in the room.

Darrell Snow: 00:39:21

And you know, for someone who had.

Darrell Snow: 00:39:25

You grew up in a single household, you said you were shy, you said you were an introvert.

Darrell Snow: 00:39:32

And now you're a world traveler who's lived all over the world.

Darrell Snow: 00:39:36

Like you just came out of your shell in such a fashion that it's contagious.

Darrell Snow: 00:39:43

And now you probably, even with the work you do, you probably inspire others to go find other places in the world to explore and live as well.

Darrell Snow: 00:39:53

Do you find that your wandering bug is contagious?

Lexi Davis: 00:39:57

Yes, definitely.

Lexi Davis: 00:39:59

It's definitely showing people that it's possible.

Lexi Davis: 00:40:01

And it's like the classic thing, if I can do it, you can too.

Lexi Davis: 00:40:04

Because I was so shy, so nervous, and it was through traveling I learned way more.

Lexi Davis: 00:40:10

I've got to say, I learned way more in traveling than I did in school.

Lexi Davis: 00:40:13

I feel like the life experiences so potent when you travel.

Lexi Davis: 00:40:18

It really widens your perspective.

Lexi Davis: 00:40:21

You get to understand and learn so much about yourself through understanding and seeing the world.

Lexi Davis: 00:40:27

And of course, like back in the day when I was traveling a lot before many people were traveling, they're like they wanted to see what other parts of the world were.

Lexi Davis: 00:40:35

And I feel like Americans in specific don't really travel internationally as much.

Lexi Davis: 00:40:39

And so it was super inspiring to a lot of people.

Lexi Davis: 00:40:42

And I was getting questions, I still get questions to this day about how do you do it?

Lexi Davis: 00:40:46

What do you do?

Lexi Davis: 00:40:47

And I'm like, you just do it.

Lexi Davis: 00:40:48

You kind of make the choice and go.

Lexi Davis: 00:40:50

You're going to be terrified.

Lexi Davis: 00:40:51

I was crying at the airport the first time I did it.

Lexi Davis: 00:40:54

You don't get rid of your emotions, but you move through it.

Lexi Davis: 00:40:57

You move with them and you take the leap.

Lexi Davis: 00:40:59

If you're really feeling called to move to South Africa, go do it.

Lexi Davis: 00:41:03

There's never going to be a perfect timing.

Lexi Davis: 00:41:05

There's never going to be all the steps just perfectly aligned for you.

Lexi Davis: 00:41:08

But you got to just make that choice and everything will start to fall together.

Lexi Davis: 00:41:12

And also you're going to get a lot of challenges.

Lexi Davis: 00:41:14

That's part of it.

Lexi Davis: 00:41:15

But it's like how you move with it and through it, and those all strengthen you in such beautiful ways.

Darrell Snow: 00:41:21

Yeah.

Darrell Snow: 00:41:22

You have to learn to pivot, for sure.

Darrell Snow: 00:41:23

And I'm gonna.

Darrell Snow: 00:41:24

I'm gonna pay you a compliment more than I already have, because I really respect your.

Darrell Snow: 00:41:29

Your work and who you are.

Darrell Snow: 00:41:32

But having watched your journey online and, you know, you've moved from here to there, and you've traveled from here to there, one thing that I will say is that until speaking with you today, I would have never known you were American.

Darrell Snow: 00:41:48

And.

Darrell Snow: 00:41:49

And you understand what I mean by that.

Darrell Snow: 00:41:51

Have you been a world traveler and seen other.

Darrell Snow: 00:41:53

Like, when we were in Madrid and Lisbon for our anniversary, you saw Americans, and then you saw travelers vastly different.

Darrell Snow: 00:42:06

And I'm going to compliment you.

Darrell Snow: 00:42:08

You would never, at least in what's.

Darrell Snow: 00:42:11

What's being viewed online, never know that you're an American.

Darrell Snow: 00:42:14

You don't.

Lexi Davis: 00:42:16

I love that.

Lexi Davis: 00:42:17

I love it.

Lexi Davis: 00:42:18

When I was in Bali, people always asked me, like, they always thought I wasn't American either.

Lexi Davis: 00:42:22

And I think after I left Australia, I picked up a tiny accent then, and.

Lexi Davis: 00:42:26

But, yeah, it's definitely an energy.

Lexi Davis: 00:42:27

Like, I don't have that.

Lexi Davis: 00:42:29

So thank you.

Darrell Snow: 00:42:30

No, it comes through, and it shows, for sure.

Darrell Snow: 00:42:33

So if there are some people out there listening and whether they're a couple, you know, trying to, you know, deepen their intimacy, or they're just a female who wants to, you know, reconnect with her body or herself or her.

Darrell Snow: 00:42:51

Her own emotions, what would be a piece of advice that you would give them to.

Darrell Snow: 00:42:56

To help in that journey?

Lexi Davis: 00:42:59

Yeah.

Lexi Davis: 00:43:00

For couples, I would say to remember that love is an energy that is constant in your relationship.

Lexi Davis: 00:43:07

It is a flow of.

Lexi Davis: 00:43:08

It's just like this beautiful stream that is never not flowing.

Lexi Davis: 00:43:11

And so when you ever feel that the love between you is a little bit dimmed down or there's more separation, that is a great indicator that is something that needs to be communicated.

Lexi Davis: 00:43:22

So you need to go within and notice when did that happen, what went down, what need of yours wasn't met, what boundary was crossed, and just take a little bit of time to understand, like, what your true desire is, what the true problem is, not what's on the surface, which oftentimes we go for.

Lexi Davis: 00:43:39

And from there, bring it to your partner and come back to connection and let them know your intention is, I want to reconnect with you, baby.

Lexi Davis: 00:43:46

I want to feel our love again.

Lexi Davis: 00:43:49

And I know it's possible, but clearly there's something that needs to be discussed, and I Think in that we can save so many relationships because the more we hold on to things, the more resentment builds and the more separation, separation and space builds within us.

Lexi Davis: 00:44:01

So really taking the time to have those uncomfortable conversations is going to heal your love and keep it like this ever ending flow.

Lexi Davis: 00:44:09

And for women connecting to their bodies, it's getting out of your mind.

Lexi Davis: 00:44:14

So when you are in a situation where you get triggered or he doesn't text you back or whatever happens, how can you stop the stories in your head which are addicting and they take you into such dark places and instead get into your body.

Lexi Davis: 00:44:29

You can start this by putting on a song, moving your body, dancing, like just physically landing back in your body, using your hands and like grabbing your body, massaging your body and know like there's something physically happening in my body this moment.

Lexi Davis: 00:44:43

Can I find what is happening?

Lexi Davis: 00:44:45

Maybe your tummy is feeling like it's in a knot or there's heat coming out of your hands and just start to get curious of what is happening in my body and move the awareness from the mind to the body and that's gonna save you a lot of mental horror of that.

Darrell Snow: 00:45:05

I'm gonna ask you one final question that I ask all my guests.

Darrell Snow: 00:45:09

What does a warrior spirit or having a warrior spirit mean to Lexi Davis?

Lexi Davis: 00:45:15

It means really never giving up.

Lexi Davis: 00:45:18

I feel like that is what comes to me when I hear this.

Lexi Davis: 00:45:21

And it's like going after what you want and knowing that it's possible and holding the beliefs, holding desires.

Lexi Davis: 00:45:28

I always had the desire to have the most beautiful, loving relationship, even though I never was role modeled it, but I just kept believing and kept making it happen.

Lexi Davis: 00:45:35

And so this spirit of continuously taking that action and learning and growing and building yourself and creating the life you want, it's so possible for whatever your dreams are.

Darrell Snow: 00:45:48

Well, I love that and I love the work that you do and it's very vital and necessary, especially in today's society.

Darrell Snow: 00:45:54

So I thank you for joining me today and thank you for sharing your wisdom and, and you know, I just appreciate you.

Lexi Davis: 00:46:03

Thank you so much.

Lexi Davis: 00:46:04

So, so beautiful.

Darrell Snow: 00:46:06

And if you would like to connect with Lexi, you can do so on her website, Alive to Enjoy or on any of the social medias, Facebook and LinkedIn.

Darrell Snow: 00:46:17

So we thank you for joining us on this edition of A Warrior Spirit.

Darrell Snow: 00:46:22

Be sure to like or subscribe so you catch all of the episodes.