Life's Benchwarmer: Finding Wins in Loss
We’re diving deep into the world of resilience and transformation today folks, as we chat with the incredible Marie Ferdinand-Harris.
She’s not just a former WNBA star; she’s a pioneer who turned her struggles into a powerful narrative in her book, "Transformed: The Winning Side of Losing." Marie’s journey from the tough streets of Little Haiti in Miami, to elite sports and then on to Harvard for her MBA is nothing short of inspiring, and she’s here to remind us that true success is all about evolving through adversity.
With a side of sarcasm, we’ll explore the absurdity of life’s curveballs and how she’s turned loss into a legacy with the Be Like CJ Foundation, honoring her late son. So buckle up, because this conversation is all about grit, grace, and finding the light even in the darkest moments.
Takeaways:
- Marie Ferdinand Harris shows us that true success is about resilience and transformation, not just winning.
- Growing up in Little Haiti, Marie faced immense challenges, yet she learned to focus on opportunities instead of circumstances.
- Her journey from a shy child to a WNBA star illustrates the power of self-confidence and hard work.
- Marie emphasizes gratitude as a key to navigating life's toughest challenges, even after losing her son.
You can connect with Marie on her website at: https://www.belikecj.org/
Or on her social platforms:
YT: https://www.youtube.com/@ThePlugEffect
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/belikecj-marie-ferdinand-harris-48a91571
Instagram: @ marieferdinandharris
https://www.facebook.com/Ultimateammate
Transcript
Hey, welcome back to another episode of the Warrior Spirit, the show where the inner warrior shines in their light.
Speaker A:Presented by Praxis33, the company that aligns your thoughts, goals and actions to create your best life.
Speaker A:I'm your host, Darrell Snow.
Speaker A:Have you ever thought about what it means to be a pioneer in something?
Speaker A:Have you ever had to reinvent yourself either from extreme loss or extreme success?
Speaker A:Well, today we're going to be talking with Marie Ferdinand Harris.
Speaker A:And Marie's story is one of resilience, triumph, and transformation.
Speaker A:And her book, Transformed the Winning side of Losing captures her victorious spirit, proving that true success lies in evolving beyond adversity.
Speaker A:And Marie, I appreciate you joining me today.
Speaker A:Thank you for coming on and doing this.
Speaker B:Absolutely.
Speaker B:Thank you so much for having me.
Speaker A:It behind the scenes, a little tech glitches, but we're getting it worked out and now we're gonna.
Speaker A:This is part of the adversity, right?
Speaker A:Not the same adversity that you had.
Speaker A:But your mom is Haitian and she came to the US to give, you know, you a better life.
Speaker A:Were you born in Haiti and came over or were you born here and started in Miami?
Speaker B:I was born and raised in Miami.
Speaker A:Okay.
Speaker A:And so you talk about the cultural barriers and the confidence struggles and the social challenges.
Speaker A:What was your childhood like?
Speaker B:My childhood was.
Speaker B:It was pretty, pretty rough to begin with.
Speaker B:You know, like you mentioned before, my parents of Haitian descent and they came to United States to make sure their children would be very well educated, wanted to give them everything they didn't get.
Speaker B:So my mom, dad moved to Miami, Florida.
Speaker B:And not the best beautiful place in Miami, Florida.
Speaker B:Not where you see the beautiful beaches, but.
Speaker B:No, we were literally in this town called Little Haiti.
Speaker B:And in that town, you'll find a bunch of Haitians in that community.
Speaker B:And it was where you find the worst school districts.
Speaker B:I mean, drugs, crime, all that stuff is at an all time high, pretty daunting place, pretty dark place.
Speaker B:But at a very young age, I was introduced to work ethic just by watching my mother, watching her handle adversity and just challenges, all while keeping a smile on her face.
Speaker B:And I just always knew early on that I wanted to do something to make her proud.
Speaker B:I wanted to be able to put myself in a position where I can help my mom, who now was raising seven kids on her own because my mom and dad split.
Speaker B:So it was a hard, hard knock, knock life growing up because we just never had the life skills, the social skills.
Speaker B:None of those things were being poured into us.
Speaker B:So I grew up A mute, really.
Speaker B:I never really spoke.
Speaker B:I was very quiet.
Speaker B:I was always known as the good girl because I never spoke.
Speaker B:I never misbehave.
Speaker B:But that was a crutch.
Speaker B:Later on life, I realized that was a crutch.
Speaker B:My mom not having the resources to put us in ymcas or any type of leadership camps.
Speaker B:Growing up, we were very sheltered because, like I said, where we grew up was one of the worst areas in Miami.
Speaker B:So my mom was always concerned with safety, so.
Speaker B:So we were pretty sheltered.
Speaker B:But it was a daunting place, a dark place, but it shaped me into who I am today.
Speaker A:So in that pecking order of seven siblings, where.
Speaker A:Where do you fall?
Speaker B:It's actually eight, and I'm right in the middle.
Speaker B:I make eight, so I was excluding myself, but total eight, and I'm the fifth child.
Speaker A:Okay, so there is a studies.
Speaker A:There's been many studies of personality studies of pecking order, you know, first child, last child, middle child.
Speaker A:What's the age range in your siblings?
Speaker B:I have.
Speaker B:My oldest brother is 56.
Speaker B:Yes.
Speaker B:And the youngest is 39.
Speaker A:Okay, so almost having to have your siblings raise you and you raise your younger siblings, kind of that dynamic, is that kind of how it fell in your house as well?
Speaker B:Well, yes, for the most part.
Speaker B:I had older brothers that, because we lived in a really tough environment, weren't always making the best decisions.
Speaker B:I have an older sister named Marelle who was literally asked to be an adult early, and she cared for myself and my three other sisters.
Speaker B:And that's kind of how we made it through our elementary, middle, high school days.
Speaker B:Was literally mom's working and older sister is caring for us at home, doing our hair, making sure our homework are done, just anything she needed to do to make sure we were being taken.
Speaker A:Care of while mom was at work and school.
Speaker A:I mean, it's hard enough being, you know, a teenager in school, being a quiet, shy one.
Speaker A:Did you find a lot of extra bullying or extra mean girl attitude towards you or, you know, stuff like that?
Speaker B:Oh, absolutely.
Speaker B:We grew up in a town where being Haitian wasn't the most popular thing.
Speaker B:We went to a school called Miami Edison Senior High, and that school is American.
Speaker B:But, you know, there are some Haitians in that school as well, maybe 40, 50% in the other is Americans.
Speaker B:And at the time, you know, you would get picked on being Haitian, you know, because you're looked at as.
Speaker B:You don't have the latest fashion, clothes, fashionable clothes.
Speaker B:You know, you're living in the projects or, you know, you don't have the latest Jordans.
Speaker B:So you get picked on as this little Haitian girl trying to figure it out, trying to juggle.
Speaker B:Not only being raised in a really tough area, you know, but also having to face being bullied at school for no reason just because of, you know, your culture, where you're from.
Speaker B:But yeah, a lot of bullying.
Speaker B:And I share that in my book Transform.
Speaker B:I share the early age of how I had to exercise mental toughness and how I had to stay focus and know that there's light.
Speaker B:There's a light.
Speaker B:And I focused on that light.
Speaker A:How did you get involved in athletics?
Speaker A:Because you're supremely gifted.
Speaker A:You're, you know, you're a 12 year veteran of the WNBA.
Speaker A:You went to LSU in your college scholarship.
Speaker A:You have, you know, done actually announcing now for LSU games, you know, radio and broadcast.
Speaker A:So you, you've overcome all your hurdles or as many of those as possible.
Speaker A:But how did you figure out that sports was the way for you to go?
Speaker B:Well, I didn't even know.
Speaker B:You know, I just always watched my mom and I look at the nature of our upbringing, what was happening, our environment.
Speaker B:I knew I wanted to do something different big.
Speaker B:And I wanted to dare to dream.
Speaker B:I wanted to focus on where lies a light.
Speaker B:I wanted to focus on opportunities, not circumstances.
Speaker B:So I was always looking for, for a vehicle.
Speaker B:And at the age of 13, I hear an announcement, anyone interested in girls basketball, come try out.
Speaker B:And it dawned on me that, wow, I should go and try out.
Speaker B:And I literally went on out there, didn't know what I was doing, breaking all the rules when it comes to basketball.
Speaker B:But at the end of the practice, the coach looked at me and said, wow, I can work with you.
Speaker B:I don't know what the coach, what he saw, but he saw something in me.
Speaker B:But at the end of the practice, I just had a great time running around with my friends.
Speaker B:But he made sure I continued basketball.
Speaker B:And literally within two years of sticking to basketball, I became one of the most sought after guards that all these universities wanted to give a scholarship to.
Speaker B:And it dawned on me that, oh my gosh, I'm going to use sports as a vehicle to capitalize on higher education.
Speaker B:And that is how I ended up at lsu.
Speaker B:And it was lights out.
Speaker B:Sports literally changed the trajectory of my life.
Speaker A:When you had that realization, was there a lot of spirituality in your house, A lot of, you know, connection to your guys's version of God or whatever you deem God to be, was there a lot of that that helped get you through that period?
Speaker A:Too.
Speaker A:Or was it just role modeling the work ethic that your mom had and trying to help out as best you can to be a good kid?
Speaker B:Definitely.
Speaker B:We grew up Catholic.
Speaker B:My mom had us in church every Sunday.
Speaker B:Going to.
Speaker B:Going to church.
Speaker B:We were there every Sunday.
Speaker B:And just between us going to church every Sunday, I didn't know.
Speaker B:I didn't think that was my come to Jesus moment.
Speaker B:Attending church, I think it was something that we had to do, so I was doing.
Speaker B:But watching my mom, though, display work ethic and just being in church, I think those two things were forming me, though.
Speaker B:They were forming my character and knowing what to do, what not to do, even though we're surrounded in darkness, that's because of our environment.
Speaker B:So.
Speaker B:But yes, we grew up in a church, but later on in life, I believe it happened in lsu, is when I had my come to Jesus moment, and I realized that, man, God is real and he's in the midst of everything.
Speaker B:Just seeing how he was honoring my work ethic, my attitude, my perspective on life, I saw him opening doors that only he could open.
Speaker B:So it became real to me that it's not my work ethic, it's not my gift, it's not my talent.
Speaker B:No, it's.
Speaker B:It's God opening up these doors.
Speaker B:It's him directing my steps and, and putting me in places where.
Speaker B:Not that I wanted to be, but more where I needed to be.
Speaker A:Yeah, I get that for sure.
Speaker A:Did you.
Speaker A:You know, you mentioned that you.
Speaker A:You grew up in a rough area.
Speaker A:Your.
Speaker A:Your siblings didn't always make the best of choices.
Speaker A:When you started finding success through athletics early on, even as a teenager and then, you know, the college recruiting process and then going on to the wnba.
Speaker A:Did you find a lot of jealousy within your family or were they all supportive across the board?
Speaker B:You know, I think it was a little bit of jealousy.
Speaker B:You know, my mom has, what, five other siblings?
Speaker B:And then I don't think it's a jealousy where it was.
Speaker B:They wanted to be jealous.
Speaker B:I just think, you know, within the Haitian culture, there's not a lot of people who make it.
Speaker B:There's not a lot of us who become something in life.
Speaker B:And I saw how my mom, children were very successful.
Speaker B:My older sister went the corporate route, and she had all the best jobs.
Speaker B:You know, she was just very bright, very smart.
Speaker B:And you have.
Speaker B:Myself went the athletic route and climbing the mountain, climbing the ladder.
Speaker B:And everyone looked at my mom, even her siblings, as, wow, how come her daughters are just so smart?
Speaker B:How come our daughters, you know, are Having all this success, you know, my mom, you know, although very quiet in spirit, very humble, very given a lot of jealousy was around, was in the midst.
Speaker B:But my mom, you know, was just a firm believer in Jesus and she never let that get to her.
Speaker B:But definitely early on in my culture, with there not being a lot of people who have success, seeing one right across the street from you kids being so successful, there was some jealousy.
Speaker A:Did you have a hard time transitioning mentally from this rough area in Miami to college, lsu and then the accolades and the success that came with your talent because you were gifted and you were gifted enough to go to the WNBA and not only go to the NBA, but survive 12 years there.
Speaker A:So did.
Speaker A:Was it a hard transformation for you or were you pretty grounded?
Speaker B:It was definitely hard because I remember going into high school being picked on, like I said, having to, you know, figure it out and exercise self confidence in myself and not listen to the words, the teasing that was being given towards me, having to just make my way, make my mark in high school in the midst of people who look like me.
Speaker B:Maybe different nationalities, but they are.
Speaker B:We all look alike, but you would never believe.
Speaker B:We were always looked at as the inferior and always teased in high school.
Speaker B:But I had to figure it out.
Speaker B:And once I became very good in basketball, I found my voice and the respect came with that.
Speaker B:So now I went from being teased to being the most popular girl in school that everybody want to be their friend.
Speaker B:But it was good to see the dynamics change through hard work.
Speaker B:But then going to lsu I felt like I had to start over again because now it's a culture shock going from where I come from to going to a Baton Rouge, Louisiana, attending the prestigious lsu.
Speaker B:I remember not even wanting to sit in front of the class at lsu.
Speaker B:I just felt like I wasn't worthy to sit in front of the class.
Speaker B:But I had to self talk myself and say to myself this is something that was earned.
Speaker B:Nothing was given.
Speaker B:I worked for this opportunity and I am worthy of being in the front.
Speaker B:And I self talked myself to go in front of that class and sit.
Speaker B:And it was like that all through my, all through my four years at lsu.
Speaker B:It was having to prove myself all over again.
Speaker B:It was difficult because I came into LSU not only having to prove myself, but I was also coming in with a torn acl.
Speaker B:So my comfort was the court.
Speaker B:And I wasn't even able to have a safe haven and go play games because I was injured coming in as an incoming freshman.
Speaker B:So it was very difficult having to manage the culture shock.
Speaker B:Being away from home, my tribe, and having to navigate this new landscape of college all alone, this little Haitian American woman.
Speaker B:It was very challenging.
Speaker B:But I just wanted to make sure I focus on my goal, stay committed, stay dedicated.
Speaker B:Because I had other little Haitian girls looking at me at Miami Edison Senior High saying, wow, if Marie can make it, I can too.
Speaker B:So I didn't want to let them down.
Speaker B:I wanted to be that trailblazer, per se, and continue the path.
Speaker B:So I exercised mental toughness and figured it out.
Speaker B:Every summer I stayed in Baton Rouge and took those tough classes.
Speaker B:All my teammates were going back home and they're like, hey, aren't you going to go home?
Speaker B:You're from Miami Beaches, it's summer.
Speaker B:And I'm like, no, I'm trying to graduate in four years.
Speaker B:I'm sticking this out.
Speaker B:Took those hard anatomies and put in the work.
Speaker B:And within four years being at lsu, I was able to leave there as a Kodak All American, LSU great, a three year in a row, scholar athlete.
Speaker B:You know, here's a girl that's not even supposed to have passed her act to go to lsu, but look how I was able to finish.
Speaker B:Well, you know, became a Hall of Famer, like I said, a player of SEC player of the year numerous times.
Speaker B:Just have a great lavish career and a lavish career, and on top of that, even won a gold medal.
Speaker B:You know, it's just unheard of to have to, to be, to come from where I'm from and to have gone where I've gotten.
Speaker B:It's just unheard of.
Speaker B:But it just show you, when you keep the faith, you put forth the hard work, God will honor it.
Speaker B:And I always tell people I feel like I got the ultimate package deal because I was even able to find my husband at lsu.
Speaker B:So I was very, very proud of my accomplishments at lsu.
Speaker A:Well, when I, when I introduced you, I talked about being a pioneer, and you were actually the first Haitian to earn a basketball scholarship at lsu.
Speaker A:You were later an NBA all Star, as you mentioned, you were the first to actually go to Harvard on a, on a, you know, as an athlete from Haiti.
Speaker A:So you've been a pioneer in a lot that you've done, but you also have had to reinvent yourself because you're, you're now a motivational speaker, you're now an author, you're now an NBA, mba, Harvard graduate.
Speaker A:So you, you have.
Speaker A:But your hardship came not only from your upbringing and your childhood and all the grit and determination that you had to do from that later in life.
Speaker A:You know, you mentioned you.
Speaker A:You found your husband at lsu, knowing your backstory a little bit.
Speaker A:You also had a child.
Speaker B:Yes.
Speaker A:And you, in all the adversity that you have faced up until that moment, you actually lost your son when he was very young, didn't you?
Speaker B:Yes.
Speaker B:Yes.
Speaker B:Just leaving lsu.
Speaker B:I'll start from there.
Speaker B:Leaving LSU and just being grateful to have my degree and wanting to go back home to help my mom who was struggling.
Speaker B:God was so good.
Speaker B:He opened another door.
Speaker B:I was blessed to get drafted as a top 10 pick to the Utah Stars, who relocated and became the San Antonio Stars.
Speaker B:Played there for very long time, then played three more years in Los Angeles, then in Phoenix.
Speaker B:But those were just not always great moments on the court.
Speaker B:You know, I literally mastered every role when it comes to being an athlete, a star player, a role player and a bench player.
Speaker B:And being that bench player, that was the most difficult role ever because no one imagined themselves ever being on the bench.
Speaker B:Everyone wants to be in a game.
Speaker B:But I struggled being on the bench.
Speaker B:I struggled understanding how do I make a production while I'm on the bench, how, how am I going to do that?
Speaker B:It was, it was a hard year of trying to learn that because I had signed a three year deal with LA and I had playing behind Candace Parker, I had to learn how to make a production.
Speaker B:And what helped me get out of that funk I was in and give me a better perspective was my encounter with Kobe Bryant where he literally invited me to his practice and shared with me what true professionalism looked like.
Speaker B:And just that whole moment watching Kobe practice, which you would have thought was like a championship game, his intensity, his efficiency, his level of focus, I mean, you see how he became the Mamba, the greatest at what he does.
Speaker B:But just witnessing him that whole hour and a half practice was just life changing.
Speaker B:And it was a game changer in my perspective on how I can become an ultimate teammate, not just on the court, but in life.
Speaker B:It's a moment that was able, that I was able to use to get me back in the game.
Speaker B:Just learning from his approach, his level of professionalism, how he sets himself up to be trustworthy, you know, for, you know, by his teammates, by his coaches.
Speaker B:He just taught me so much that day and I'll never forget it.
Speaker B:But then after my time in the wnba, I literally realized upon retirement that I had developed as a player, but I was neglected as a person.
Speaker B:There was a lot of development that the person didn't get.
Speaker B:I shared earlier how My upbringing, we were really sheltered.
Speaker B:We didn't really have those social skills.
Speaker B:I was truly a mute.
Speaker B:Never really spoke unless I was spoken to.
Speaker B:And it cost me because I was on the biggest platform for 12 years and never really made those relationships that I was supposed to make.
Speaker B:But I made sure after retirement I had to go back and make sure I humble myself and do the work and develop the person within that.
Speaker B:I just started literally taking every free public speaking opportunity there were.
Speaker B:Just so I could be comfortable with speaking to people, just so I can work on self confidence, groom the person.
Speaker B:Because all these years I was just developing the player.
Speaker B:So upon that we had a son, C.J.
Speaker B:who we were raising.
Speaker B:And my biggest fear was that CJ would just be an athlete just like I was.
Speaker B:I wanted to make sure he was never just going to be an athlete.
Speaker B:He was going to be well rounded, well versed.
Speaker B:So I made sure he was participating in student council, pushed them into debate class.
Speaker B:Anytime someone needed someone to give a speech, I volunteered.
Speaker B:Cj, I wanted to make sure not only was the player being developed, but the person was also developing.
Speaker B:And up to that point I felt like I was always winning.
Speaker B:I won when I escaped my horrible environment by getting to lsu.
Speaker B:Felt like I won when I was at lsu, being able to get my degree and become a hall of Famer, a gold medal winner, all these different things I won.
Speaker B:I felt like I won when I was in the WNBA with becoming a three time WNBA All Star, playing 12 long years till this day, the only Haitian American to ever play in the wnba.
Speaker B:I felt like I won even when I was on the bench, I felt like I was winning because I was learning character building.
Speaker B:I was learning how to become an ultimate teammate.
Speaker B:Although I wasn't playing in the game, I felt like even on the bench I was making God proud.
Speaker B:By the way I was handling being cheering for other people when they're having success.
Speaker B:I was how, how my preparation was helping me to be ready.
Speaker B:If the coach put me in for one minute, I was preparing for that one minute.
Speaker B:So although I was on the bench, I still felt like I was winning because I was being shaped and built.
Speaker B:God was teaching me service.
Speaker B:While being on the bench, I was winning.
Speaker B:But for the first time of my life I was facing the biggest loss, which was the loss of my 14 year old son, CJ and that was a deep loss.
Speaker B:It was something that hurt so bad.
Speaker B:Till this day it's.
Speaker B:I don't think it ever goes away, you know, but even in that, in the Midst of that, God revealed to me that there's wins and a loss.
Speaker B:Even in loss, I'm victorious.
Speaker B:After we lost cj, I literally remember leaving the hospital and coming straight to his room and literally getting on my knees and just thanking God.
Speaker B:Thanking God for 14 years, telling him how sovereign he is, telling him how good he is.
Speaker B:Just being so grateful for everything he's done, for choosing me to carry this.
Speaker B:Because I get to share CJ with the world which truly impacts other people because they look at me and they're like, wow, if this woman can lose her son and be so inspiring, have such strength, have such grace, have such joy in for life, I can deal with this little small stuff I'm dealing with.
Speaker B:And God chose me.
Speaker B:He chose me to do it.
Speaker B:And I feel like Mary, to be honest, like he chose Mary to bring about Jesus.
Speaker B:He chose me to go and tell CJ's story.
Speaker B:So I feel more empowered.
Speaker B:I feel like I don't want to let God down because he trusts me so much that I love sharing CJ's story.
Speaker A:It's.
Speaker A:It's always tragic to, to lose a child.
Speaker A:May I ask how your son passed?
Speaker B:Yes.
Speaker B:So CJ was involved in an ATV wreck where and this was actually brother, older brother who we adopted since he was three.
Speaker B:He was one of my brother's son we adopted when he was three.
Speaker B:He was driving.
Speaker B:Now the boys don't ever get on the atv.
Speaker B:Like we run a tight ship in our home.
Speaker B:It's church, school activity, homework.
Speaker B:That's it.
Speaker B:They have bikes.
Speaker B:We barely let them get on bikes.
Speaker B:But it was one spring break afternoon.
Speaker B:The boys went across the street to the neighbors asked to get on the atv.
Speaker B:They weren't supposed to get on the atv, get on the atv.
Speaker B:And it took a split second for the biggest accident to happen.
Speaker B:Brother end up driving.
Speaker B:Not being familiar of how to drive these huge atv.
Speaker B:He was going too fast.
Speaker B:ATV flip the railing of the ATV hit CJ who was the passenger and CJ later pass of a severe brain injury.
Speaker B:So that is how we lost cj.
Speaker A:So that brings loss of children can often separate spouses.
Speaker B:Yes.
Speaker A:But also because of the accident and it being an older sibling doing things they weren't supposed to.
Speaker A:How did it affect your surviving child?
Speaker B:One thing I know we've done a very great job of is keeping the main thing.
Speaker B:The main thing and what I mean by that is Jesus is always first in our life regardless.
Speaker B:And.
Speaker B:And I shared how my Jesus moment came in college.
Speaker B:God has always been first and foremost in my life.
Speaker B:And as long as he's first, I don't waver.
Speaker B:It doesn't matter what life throws at me, I'm able to stay level headed.
Speaker B:I understand that.
Speaker B:I can get through it.
Speaker B:Because guess what?
Speaker B:I may have lost cj, but I still have Jesus.
Speaker B:You know, the guy that I rely on every day, I'm praying to every day I rely on him.
Speaker B:I'm communicating with them daily.
Speaker B:That's Jesus Christ.
Speaker B:That's who CJ sit with.
Speaker B:I don't think I'm the one that should be sad that CJ's not here.
Speaker B:CJ's with the man that I trust, I believe in, you know, he's the ruler of everything.
Speaker B:I.
Speaker B:I feel more empowered that I have three boys and one's already home with Jesus.
Speaker B:Now my job is to try to do the best job I can to make sure my other two boys are well prepared, to make sure I'm prepared so I don't feel sadness when it comes to the loss of cj.
Speaker B:I feel more joy, like, wow, I've done a great job and one is already home.
Speaker B:Because, you know, sometimes we forget that this is just a connection for us.
Speaker B:I like to look at it as a connection.
Speaker B:You know, you fly and you have those connections.
Speaker B:I know those connections very well because I live in Ashdown, Arkansas.
Speaker B:And every time we fly, we have to go to Dallas before we get to our final destination.
Speaker B:And I think that's what God wants us to realize and know is that this is just a connection.
Speaker B:This is not our final destination.
Speaker B:But CJ is at his final destination and we're all just trying to figure it out.
Speaker B:This is training camp.
Speaker B:He's trying to groom us, prepare us, get us to where we need to be.
Speaker B:And CJ was already there.
Speaker B:I didn't share more about cj, but I would love to when I have an opportunity.
Speaker A:Absolutely.
Speaker A:And you're welcome to come back and share whatever part of that story you want to as well.
Speaker A:How did.
Speaker A:Did your husband share the same embodiment of spirit that you do, or did it cause any tension or was he of the same mindset as you are?
Speaker A:And, and you know, commendable for sure that you can hold that in that regard because it is not easy.
Speaker A:And it is, I think, how I've viewed life and death my whole life.
Speaker A:Anyway, you know, we, we're all just.
Speaker A:Our time is already on its way out from the time we come in.
Speaker A:It's just what we do with it in that time we're here.
Speaker A:So as long as the final destination is the final destination and we do the impactful things that we need to.
Speaker A:You know, some people reach that destination earlier, and they're meant to earlier so that they have more impact with that time they were given than had they lived it longer.
Speaker A:And it seems to be the same belief and focus that you've taken as well.
Speaker A:And then you started a foundation and wrote a book.
Speaker A:Did the book come first or did you.
Speaker A:Did the loss of your son come first?
Speaker B:The loss of my son.
Speaker B:So prior to us losing CJ, we established.
Speaker B:Well, actually, after losing CJ, we knew we wanted to continue CJ's legacy because CJ, at 14, 8th grade, already had a scholarship to LSU, like, bright future.
Speaker B:A phenomenal athlete wanted by so many coaches just in that baseball circuit.
Speaker B:He was just a phenomenal athlete.
Speaker B:But what made CJ special was he wasn't even known for his athleticism.
Speaker B:As great of an athlete as he was, he was more known for his character and how he treated people.
Speaker B:Cj, although a star player, wanted no part of the star treatment.
Speaker B:CJ Hart was in helping kids who were always looked down upon.
Speaker B:He had a heart for the kids who were overlooked.
Speaker B:Cj, you'll find them every day sitting with the kids who are special needs.
Speaker B:CJ had a heart for people.
Speaker B:He didn't care about the worldly things.
Speaker B:He didn't care about the iPhones, the video games, the Jordans.
Speaker B:No, CJ wanted to be with those kids who need a friend, and he was that friend to them.
Speaker B:So when CJ passed, it was a hard day at his school because so many of those kids rely on CJ to bring a smile.
Speaker B:You know, those were.
Speaker B:That.
Speaker B:That's his, that CJ was their buddy.
Speaker B:CJ just had such great influence and he just had a heart of gold.
Speaker B:And it was a great picture to see, because to see an athlete with so much accolades, so much star power, and not care about that and care more for the kids who are looked down upon, it was such a, just amazing thing to watch, to see his humble spirit and how he just cared for what God cares for, to be honest.
Speaker A:Well, that comes from good parenting.
Speaker A:It is a trickle down effect.
Speaker A:You know, they.
Speaker A:They model what they see.
Speaker A:And then you put together a foundation, you wrote the book, you have transformed the winning side of losing and Be Like CJ Foundation.
Speaker A:Can you tell us a little bit about what the Be Like CJ foundation is and does?
Speaker B:Yes.
Speaker B:It's so funny to see them side by side because after we lost cj, I Knew I could not sit and wait for sympathy.
Speaker B:I knew I had to get up and keep moving, keep going.
Speaker B:So I took a leap of faith and literally with the help of Adam Silver and some a team of WNBA leaders, I was able to get into this Harvard Business School program.
Speaker B:The NBA have a partnership with Harvard where they allow current players or recently retired players an opportunity to study at Harvard.
Speaker B:And I was what, 10 years out of retirement.
Speaker B:So I knew this was a God thing because how was I able to get into this Harvard program was Jesus.
Speaker B:So for me to sit there in a, in Boston, Massachusetts, in a Harvard business class amongst these other geniuses was another empowering moment that I would never ever forget.
Speaker B:Because where I come from, you don't even affiliate your name with Harvard.
Speaker B:They don't even give you that chance to even go that far.
Speaker B:So I wanted to make sure CJ's foundation, which we started after he passed, a continuous legacy, be a really awesome functionable foundation that's, you know, can be, can be a longevity type of foundation.
Speaker B:It's stable.
Speaker B:So I needed to learn business, I needed to learn how to make, how to run a successful foundation.
Speaker B:So within taking that class, it helped me to launch the CJ's, found the Be Like CJ Foundation.
Speaker B:And right after I was done with that program, I wanted to share my journey.
Speaker B:I wanted to share how do this Haitian woman get to lsu, become a gold medal winner, a Hall of Famer, play 12 long years in the WNBA, a three time All Star, go to Harvard, write a book like I wanted to share that.
Speaker B:I think that journey needs to be talked about, it needs to be shared.
Speaker B:It needs to be something that's put out there to encourage others, that it doesn't matter where you come from, it doesn't matter if you're in a single parent household, it doesn't matter if you're in this dark place.
Speaker B:You have to dare to dream.
Speaker B:And that is what I did from a very young age.
Speaker B:I just dared to dream.
Speaker B:I focus on where lies the light.
Speaker A:You, you make it sound easier than it is.
Speaker A:You know, your journey, your ark, is pretty impressive, but there was a lot of bumps on those roads that you navigated.
Speaker A:And it's a testament to your connection with God that you remained as inspirited as you do.
Speaker A:And wanting to share all this, I'm curious, did your, if you think about it, and maybe you haven't thought about it in this way, but if you think about it, was your encounter with Kobe Bryant a part of what you imparted in your children that made C.J.
Speaker A:the man that he was at 14.
Speaker B:Yes.
Speaker B:I definitely think it had a mixture of things.
Speaker B:I think our.
Speaker B:Our faith in us sharing with all our boys who Jesus is and how he wants us to live.
Speaker B:You know, how we supposed to live for him.
Speaker B:Everything we do, we give God the glory.
Speaker B:I think it's a combination of our faith and pouring that into our.
Speaker B:Our children and also our life lessons in sports and sharing those.
Speaker B:Sharing how no matter if you're in a game or on the bench, you can make a productive.
Speaker B:You can still be a team player.
Speaker B:Even on the bench.
Speaker B:You can do that.
Speaker A:You titled your book the Winning side of Losing.
Speaker A:What does that reference?
Speaker B:I titled the book Transform the Winning side of Losing.
Speaker B:Because like I shared earlier, I literally never spoke.
Speaker B:But now, these days, Darrell, you can't get me to be quiet.
Speaker B:I'll speak.
Speaker B:I'll go on and on and on.
Speaker B:So I call it transformation.
Speaker B:This woman who played basketball and never even spoke to even her teammates.
Speaker B:I was just so committed and locked in on the job that I didn't know how to compete and be about relationship building.
Speaker B:So I chose to just compete.
Speaker B:So I never really let my teammates know who is Marie outside of the court.
Speaker B:Some of them will see me today and be like, wow, she talked.
Speaker B:Wow.
Speaker B:You know, they'd be surprised.
Speaker B:But the book is called Transform because you see the transformation of this girl who played basketball, and then you see the copy of the book, the.
Speaker B:The COVID of the book, and you see this woman who's becoming.
Speaker B:And.
Speaker B:And that's what I want people to see, is this woman in the background who just was so focused and locked in on just championships and MVPs and all stars.
Speaker B:And then she's transformed into a woman who wants to be the leader that she needed when she was a little girl.
Speaker A:This picture on in the background of you in uniform playing, is that an actual photo taken of what you look like on the court?
Speaker A:Like that laser focus.
Speaker B:Laser focus.
Speaker B:Like, don't mess with me.
Speaker B:I'm not friendly.
Speaker B:I'm coming to be a savage on the court.
Speaker B:I want to win, but I want to.
Speaker B:But there's a way to win.
Speaker B:I want to win the right way, and I always lose the right way.
Speaker B:But that look is a laser focus where I'm well prepared.
Speaker B:I know my scouting report.
Speaker B:I know my opponent.
Speaker B:I also know God's scouting report because it's not just my coach's scouting report, but I always remembered God's scouting report.
Speaker B:When I got on that Floor as well.
Speaker B:And I was just ready to perform and to perform as though God was out there watching.
Speaker B:And I wanted to make sure I made him proud every day.
Speaker A:That is a huge transformation of look between the background picture and the front picture.
Speaker A:Have.
Speaker A:Have your.
Speaker A:Have your kids seen that background picture in life?
Speaker B:Yeah, I would think they have.
Speaker B:Yes, they've seen that.
Speaker B:And I was actually had an opportunity to go and play with this.
Speaker B:There's a league right now, it's called Unlimited Athletes Unlimited, and they hosted a game for, you know, former players.
Speaker B:And I end up being MVP of that game.
Speaker B:But my boy, my son Ace, sat courtside and was able to watch me because, I mean, you know, kids these days, I go out there and I'm trying to teach him some basketball skills, and he's like, mom, you don't know what you're talking about.
Speaker B:You know, they're just so oblivious.
Speaker B:And I'm like, so him being able to watch me play a full game and see that exact laser focus face, he's like, man, mom, you really can play.
Speaker A:It's always nice when they give us credit for actually having a life before them.
Speaker B:Yes, absolutely.
Speaker B:Yes.
Speaker A:Nice.
Speaker A:If you were to give a piece of your advice other than the spirituality part, because that's hard to embody for most people if they don't have it innately in themselves.
Speaker A:What would be someone who's going through a struggle or they're trying to find their way, or they're trying to transform their own journey, whether it be from the success to the next level or from the hardship to the next level.
Speaker A:What would your advice to that person be?
Speaker B:To find their wins.
Speaker B:Even when things are not going great in their lives, even though there's challenges and adversity and circumstances, where are some of those wins?
Speaker B:Where are some of those good things?
Speaker B:Just to stay in gratitude, live a life of gratitude.
Speaker B:I think that's what has helped me the most, is gratitude.
Speaker B:Even leaving that hospital and losing cj, my first stop was his room.
Speaker B:It was gratitude.
Speaker B:It was to thank God.
Speaker B:It's to be grateful.
Speaker B:Even when things happen in life that you know you didn't like or you didn't want, you have to still have gratitude and know that, hey, with God, you never lose.
Speaker B:And that's always my attitude.
Speaker B:A perfect analogy of this is LeBron James and Bronny James.
Speaker B:LeBron is playing with his son.
Speaker B:Big story.
Speaker B:Everybody wants to see that moment when LeBron enters the game with his son.
Speaker B:And I wasn't able to watch that because I had an Engagement, a speaking engagement.
Speaker B:I missed it, but I recorded it.
Speaker B:And when I got home, I wanted to watch it, but my son spoiled it.
Speaker B:He said, oh, Mom, LeBron James and Bronny James.
Speaker B:It was awesome.
Speaker B:And Lakers won.
Speaker B:And I'm like, ace, like, I want to watch the game.
Speaker B:Don't tell me what happened.
Speaker B:But he told me.
Speaker B:He gave me the result.
Speaker B:The answer.
Speaker B:Who won the game?
Speaker B:I knew, but I still wanted to watch.
Speaker B:I wanted to watch it.
Speaker B:And when I watched that game and I knew the result, I knew the Lakers have won.
Speaker B:I was able to watch that game in peace.
Speaker B:It didn't matter If Kobe had four.
Speaker B:Kobe, sorry.
Speaker B:It didn't matter if LeBron had four fouls.
Speaker B:It didn't matter the Lakers were losing by 30 points.
Speaker B:It didn't matter if the coach got ejected.
Speaker B:None of that stuff mattered because I knew the final score.
Speaker B:And in that moment, I said to myself, oh, my gosh, that's how God want us.
Speaker B:Us to live.
Speaker B:He want us to live knowing the final score, knowing that regardless of what's going on in our life, we're going to win because we are a child of God.
Speaker B:So that will be my advice to anyone out there to just know you've already won.
Speaker B:So just enjoy that game.
Speaker B:I watched that game in enjoyment with my popcorn.
Speaker B:LeBron had four fouls.
Speaker B:And I was like, it's okay, LeBron.
Speaker B:Go rest.
Speaker B:It's okay.
Speaker B:And that's how God wants us to approach life.
Speaker B:Those hurdles, come the bumps in the road, come.
Speaker B:Stay steadfast.
Speaker B:Keep the main thing.
Speaker B:The main thing.
Speaker A:We all have adversity and we all have our own struggles.
Speaker A:But I found that if you do stay humble in gratitude and know that your destination is beyond where you currently are, stay steadfast, as you say.
Speaker A:I say to my wife all the time, he didn't bring us this far to only get this far.
Speaker A:Like, there's more that we have have going.
Speaker A:So I.
Speaker A:I appreciate that insight.
Speaker A:I'm going to ask you one final question that I ask all my guests.
Speaker B:Okay.
Speaker A:What does a warrior spirit or having a warrior spirit mean to Marie?
Speaker B:It means everything.
Speaker B:I.
Speaker B:There's no way I can go to training camp.
Speaker B:And I shared with you earlier, life is like a training camp in sports.
Speaker B:Everyone dread training camp because you have to practice, like three, four days.
Speaker B:I mean, three, four time a day.
Speaker B:You practice, you're in training camp.
Speaker B:These coaches are trying to build you, prepare you for a long road, you know, so if you don't have that warrior spirit, you're not going to make it.
Speaker B:You're not going to last, you know.
Speaker B:So for me, having that warrior spirit is everything to me.
Speaker A:Well, you certainly embody it.
Speaker A:Your life has certainly embodied it.
Speaker A:And I know that through your own adversities and your own experiences, you are going to go on and impact and continue to change those around you.
Speaker A:So I certainly appreciate you coming on here and sharing part of that journey.
Speaker A:And definitely we'll book a time again when you want to come on and talk more about CJ and what you're doing with the foundation.
Speaker A:Doors always open.
Speaker B:Absolutely.
Speaker B:Thank you so much for having me.
Speaker B:And if anyone is interesting interested in learning more about the Be Like CJ foundation and all the amazing things we're doing, you can always Visit us at www.be like cj.org.
Speaker B:thank you so much for having me, Daryl.
Speaker B:This was great.
Speaker A:I appreciate it.
Speaker A:And if you do want to connect with Marie outside of that, her website, as she said, is be like cj.org.
Speaker A:she's also on the social platforms YouTube, Instagram, Facebook and LinkedIn.
Speaker A:So catch her where you can.
Speaker A:Always a great connection.
Speaker A:And once again, thank you for joining us on this edition of A Warrior Spirit.
Speaker A:Be sure to like or subscribe so that you can catch all those episodes and have a blessed day.
