Living Authentically: The Power of Transparency and Forgiveness
In this engaging episode of 'A Warrior's Spirit,' host Daryl Snow dives deep with Chad Witmeyer, who shares his remarkable transformation from a life dictated by external expectations to one rooted in authentic self-discovery.
Chad recounts his upbringing in a conservative family, where success was measured by societal standards, and how this shaped his initial approach to life. He candidly discusses the pressures he felt while growing up, illustrating the struggle many face when trying to meet the expectations of family and society.
However, his journey took a pivotal turn when he faced personal tragedies, prompting him to reevaluate his beliefs and priorities. He emphasizes the importance of self-forgiveness and love, suggesting that true fulfillment stems from understanding one's self-worth and embracing a life of service to others.
Through his experiences, Chad shares practical advice for listeners seeking to uncover their own gifts and serve their communities. This episode is not just about personal growth; it’s a call to action for everyone to find their purpose and live authentically.
Takeaways:
- Finding your purpose doesn't have to involve a life-altering trauma; start today!
- Embracing vulnerability by being open and honest can lead to genuine connections.
- Serving others through volunteering can help uncover your true gifts and purpose.
- Forgiving yourself is crucial for spiritual growth and realizing your inherent worth.
- Connecting with others and sharing experiences fosters a sense of community and belonging.
- Recognizing that God’s resources are infinite can help alleviate feelings of scarcity and anxiety.
You can connect with Chad at his website:
www.chadwitmeyer.com
or on his social platforms:
FB: https://www.facebook.com/chad.witmeyer.9
Instagram: @ confessions_wonderingenerality
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/chadwitmeyer/
Transcript
Hey.
Speaker A:Welcome back to another episode of A Warrior Spirit, the show where the inner warrior shines in their light.
Speaker A:Presented by Praxis33, the company that aligns your thoughts, goals and actions to create your best life.
Speaker A:I'm your host, Darrell Snow.
Speaker A:Have you ever wondered what your purpose is?
Speaker A:Ever felt that you're not worthy of forgiveness or of God's love?
Speaker A:Many of us have been on that road.
Speaker A:And as today's guest, Chad, as has today's guest, Chad Witmer.
Speaker A:Chad's a military veteran, an entrepreneur, a senior executive, and in the personal development and corporate training field.
Speaker A:He spent a lifetime struggling to meet the expectations of others and the world around him.
Speaker A:He's now an author, speaker, and he serves to remind us that we don't have to wait for a traumatic event to knock us down.
Speaker A:You can begin your journey to find your path now.
Speaker A:Chad, I welcome you to the show and thank you for joining me.
Speaker B:Well, thank you, Darrell, and I appreciate the opportunity.
Speaker A:In the intro, we talk about, you know, you not waiting for the world around you to knock you down.
Speaker A:Where did your beginnings start?
Speaker A:Where were you?
Speaker A:Where were you born and raised?
Speaker B:I was born in upstate New York, Albany, to be exact.
Speaker B:But most of the family still lives in Syracuse and Rochester.
Speaker B:And Post World War II is, I was born a couple years after World War II, so that kind of gives you an idea how old I am.
Speaker B:But grew up in the 50s and 60s, mainly of America dominating the world, business, wise, economy and all that good stuff.
Speaker B:And it was always a success journey.
Speaker B:My dad spent probably about eight years in the regular military from before World War II to after.
Speaker B:And he did a little occupation duty in Korea, fought on the island of Okinawa.
Speaker B:And when he finally got out in the late 50s, went into the insurance business and started rising in the administrative side.
Speaker B:And his was always, you know, one, one step up the ladder.
Speaker B:Of course, I didn't understand any of this back then.
Speaker B:Mom would stay at home at that time, but later years I learned that she was just itching to get out of the house.
Speaker B:So I was pushed off to kindergarten just after I turned four.
Speaker B:Pretty young.
Speaker B:So I was always in school like a, a year before, behind everybody on emotional development.
Speaker B:And so it was always, we grew up in church, Episcopal church, kind of the high Episcopal Church.
Speaker B:And my, my concept of religion at that time was strictly church on Sunday, annual visits from the, the parish priest.
Speaker B:Talk about, talk with mom and dad about how much you're going to give me this year.
Speaker B:And that's it.
Speaker B:I was acolyte Choir boy and did all the stuff, you know.
Speaker A:Hold up a second.
Speaker A:So back in the day, the priests were door to door salesmen.
Speaker A:They would come and ask you personally for the donations.
Speaker B:Well, it was an annual scheduled visit and they would sit down, mom would serve high tea and everybody dress up.
Speaker B:And we were expected to sit there, be introduced and then disappear.
Speaker B:Be quiet.
Speaker B:But they, they would talk about, you know, this year's commitment to the funds needed to run the parish and the building plans.
Speaker B:And we, we belong to some wealthy churches.
Speaker B:And so it was always a big number, but it was serious businessman.
Speaker A:Yeah, that's fascinating to see.
Speaker A:And I'm sure those conversations helped your father in the insurance business because again, you're sitting in someone's home, you're talking about important business, bigger numbers.
Speaker A:Not as big as contributions to the church often, but still, you know, it kind of leads right into the philosophy of the old time insurance salesmans.
Speaker B:Yeah, he never sold insurance.
Speaker B:He was always either.
Speaker B:He started as a adjuster and then moved into the corporate side and eventually became chief operating officer.
Speaker B:Some, some of the biggest companies we have Zurich American, Great American.
Speaker B:And they were, they were big time.
Speaker B:Eventually, before I got out of high school, this actually carried through into college.
Speaker B:I was.
Speaker B:His accounts were personal.
Speaker B:Accounts were American Airlines, Holiday Inn, you know, to the point where he had the personal home numbers.
Speaker B:No cell phones in those days.
Speaker B:Personal home number of the CEOs of those companies and the chairmans.
Speaker B:Anyway, that's kind of the world I grew up in where, you know, it was all about what would other people think?
Speaker B:So all your actions were tailored to the, the social and business track you were on and the whole family had to buy into it.
Speaker B:You know, we didn't realize any of this, this was over our heads.
Speaker B:We just wanted to play, have a good time, go on vacation, all that good stuff.
Speaker B:But so my high schools I went to were kind of elite high schools, at least in the wealthy sections.
Speaker B:Never private school versions.
Speaker B:But.
Speaker B:And then my.
Speaker B:I got to a point where I really didn't want to because I didn't want to follow in dad's footsteps because he was always working, he was never there.
Speaker B:He joined us in the boy Scout expeditions and things like that, which that was great, but I purposely told him in my senior year, said, I don't want to go to college.
Speaker B:Then his answer to that was waking me up the next morning at 6am and joining him on the back porch.
Speaker B:He says, just wait till the garbage truck came through and the two guys jumped off the back Grabbed the metal cans and threw him in the back of the truck.
Speaker B:And as he drove away, he said, see those two guys on the back of the truck?
Speaker B:Without a college education, that is the best you can hope for.
Speaker B:Okay, dad, I'll join.
Speaker B:I'll go to college.
Speaker B:But that was their mentality is post war.
Speaker B:We were rebuilding.
Speaker B:And a college education was your ticket to success.
Speaker B:I mean, you had to have that.
Speaker B:That was open doors.
Speaker B:That was the mantra for everybody who was on that track.
Speaker B:I didn't know it at the time, but their social circle was expanding, and it included the Bush family up in New England.
Speaker B:We lived in New England by that time in Connecticut, and families like that.
Speaker B:Chairman of the board of this group, CEO of this group.
Speaker A:Status was everything.
Speaker B:Status was everything.
Speaker B:Now, mom and dad were realist and solid people.
Speaker B:They didn't borrow money for anything.
Speaker B:It was always.
Speaker B:I paid cash.
Speaker B:So they never, never, ever suffered debt, probably until I went to college.
Speaker B:But I don't know about that.
Speaker B:But it was a very conservative upbringing, very conservative Republican type of upbringing.
Speaker B:And that, you know, colored my flavor, my view of the world.
Speaker B:So I went to college and I didn't like it, but I liked the party side.
Speaker B:I joined a fraternity.
Speaker B:We had the best parties on campus.
Speaker B:I planned the parties.
Speaker B:And again, I got to a point.
Speaker B:Go ahead.
Speaker A:No.
Speaker A:Did you find yourself rebelling at college from the strict side that you had?
Speaker B:I.
Speaker B:Here's what I realized.
Speaker B:As soon as I went to college, I suddenly was unaccountable to anybody.
Speaker B:Nobody was monitoring my behavior, what I wore, what I dressed like, what I ate.
Speaker B:It was, I'm on my own, man.
Speaker B:My mantra was Frank Sinatra's song, I did it my way.
Speaker B:And so I just took advantage of everything that was there.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker A:And did that freedom.
Speaker A:Did your folks have a say in the fact that you're a military veteran?
Speaker A:So obviously some.
Speaker A:At some point you made your way into the military, which is anti freedom.
Speaker A:Well, did your freedom lead you to that forcefully or voluntarily?
Speaker B:No, voluntarily, because I got a draft notice.
Speaker B:Oh, this is during Vietnam.
Speaker A:Okay.
Speaker B: And I finally, in: Speaker B:I'm going to go get into some business of my own.
Speaker B:And so I.
Speaker B:I took some time, all a couple months and got a letter in the mail, said, show up for your draft physical.
Speaker B:And they said, you're in wonderful shape.
Speaker B:Enjoy the next two weeks.
Speaker B:And this was during Vietnam when anybody who was drafted joined the army, Navy, whatever it was, you were in Vietnam in 90 days, period.
Speaker B:So I just decided to run around, find out what the best deal was, what kind of offer.
Speaker B:And the only offer was from the Air Force.
Speaker B:Oh yeah, you can do anything.
Speaker B:It's like a regular job.
Speaker B:It's.
Speaker B:You won't even have to cut your hair, you know, kind of lies that the recruiters give you.
Speaker B:But we have a, in our family, a military history that went back to the revolution.
Speaker B:Direct line, grandfather after grandfather who fought in every single war we ever had.
Speaker B:My dad was at that time a colonel in the Army Reserve and had served during World War II and, and afterwards.
Speaker B:And every summer went to the Pentagon and served a couple weeks there.
Speaker B:So it was kind of natural.
Speaker B:I didn't feel like it was a big deal at the time.
Speaker B:I was like, what's next?
Speaker A:Again, family history.
Speaker A:Did you.
Speaker A:Obviously you survived the war and the Vietnam War was a horrible thing.
Speaker A:The homecoming for most vets was not pleasant as it was for some of the other wars that we've been in where they came back to hero celebrations.
Speaker A:The Vietnam vets got very poorly treated and caused a lot of divisiveness within households and families.
Speaker A:What was the response in your neck of the woods when you came home?
Speaker A:Were you subject to all that stuff too?
Speaker B:Not at all.
Speaker B:And that was not my experience at all.
Speaker B:I got out in very late, like December of 74 and went back to school.
Speaker B:And I got there at the same time a best friend, he got out of the Marine Corps same time and we never saw that.
Speaker B:And we went to school in Oklahoma City.
Speaker B:So it was very conservative out there and a lot of military in Oklahoma.
Speaker B:It was not east coast, west coast.
Speaker B:I never experienced that type of treatment and I guess I never thought about it, but I read about it.
Speaker B:I had friends who suffered it.
Speaker B:And to this day I still talk with veterans groups and other veterans.
Speaker B:And yeah, they experienced it and it was very real.
Speaker B:And.
Speaker B:But that was not my experience, so.
Speaker A:And that's fortunate because, you know, some of those guys are still suffering today.
Speaker A:What caused you then to turn corporate?
Speaker A:Was that again, kind of the.
Speaker A:Just the lineage of the family or was that a conscious choice?
Speaker B:No, it was pure chance.
Speaker B:And this is all part of my self discovery in recent years to how God is putting people and things in my circumstances in my path that I didn't recognize.
Speaker B: But I had a blind date in: Speaker B:And before A second date.
Speaker B:She asked me, now you got to get this answer to this question correct if we're going to go out again.
Speaker B:She said, do you know who Zig Ziglar is?
Speaker B:And I said, what is that?
Speaker B:I had no idea.
Speaker B:No, I don't know who he is.
Speaker B:She said, okay, we're good.
Speaker B:She was tired of salespeople wanting to date her to get to Zig because he was becoming famous at that time.
Speaker B:And so I had my own business at that time.
Speaker B:I was restoring antiques.
Speaker B:I had just been an importer of antiques from Europe.
Speaker B:Then it became.
Speaker B:I opened up my own shop to do restoration and we got married just nine months later.
Speaker B:And restoring.
Speaker B:Restoring antiques in an air conditioned shop in Dallas, Texas in the summer.
Speaker B:Not fun.
Speaker A:No, I've been to Dallas.
Speaker A:I lived there seven years.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker A:High humidity and 100 degree temperatures.
Speaker A:It's.
Speaker B:Oh yeah.
Speaker B:We had a big kind of a.
Speaker B:It was like a 10 foot diameter fan in this building, upper floor of a hundred year old building.
Speaker B:And it was.
Speaker B:You worked in shorts and shoes and that was it.
Speaker B:And so anyway, yeah, I get tired of that.
Speaker B:And Zig had started something.
Speaker B:He wanted somebody to go door to door and bookstore to bookstore selling his book.
Speaker B:Had one book and one tape set.
Speaker A:See you at the top.
Speaker B:See you at the top.
Speaker B:And had just changed the title from biscuits, fleas and pump handles to see you at the top.
Speaker A:Yeah, when I bought it it was see you at the top.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker B:So Susan was trying that, my then wife and she just didn't like it.
Speaker B:She is not an outgoing salesperson.
Speaker B:And I said, you know, I can wear a suit and tie and be clean and be air conditioned some of the time.
Speaker B:Tell your dad I'm, I'd like to try it.
Speaker B:And that was it.
Speaker B:Then I said, how, how do, how do you sell?
Speaker B:I didn't, I wasn't a salesman.
Speaker B:I didn't know.
Speaker B:He said, listen to the tape.
Speaker B:So that was my sales training.
Speaker B:Yeah, Channing is on the tape.
Speaker B:I did start traveling with him to certain speaking engagements and I would do the back of the room merchandise sale.
Speaker B:And we had one set of tapes and one book.
Speaker B:And then when I wasn't traveling, I was going door to door, business to business.
Speaker B:And some of those guys were patient enough to teach me how to sell.
Speaker B:Like you came in here all wrong, boy.
Speaker B:And here's what you should have done.
Speaker B:Should have asked me what I needed and it.
Speaker B:And it went from there.
Speaker B:So I learned a lot.
Speaker A:I can tell you didn't listen to the tape because that's on his tape.
Speaker B:Yes.
Speaker B:But then we, I started trying to help out in the shipping department, which we really had three employees at the time.
Speaker B:And so I started helping bag things and address things and.
Speaker B:But then the company started growing pretty rapidly, more speaking engagements, more books, dealing with stuff.
Speaker B:And he was having problems with whoever was providing the tapes at the time, the audio tapes, quality wise.
Speaker B:And so at some point I just started recording and doing it, bringing recording equipment on the road, which of course it wasn't the size of your cell phone.
Speaker B:Then it was a huge reel to reel tape recorder and a box of mics and wires and things.
Speaker B:And then I brought up the idea, well, why don't we edit and do our own stuff.
Speaker B:And so then I'm as made vice president of production.
Speaker B:So I, I built a recording studio, researched how to do it, built the whole thing myself.
Speaker B:And then high speed duplication plan for audio and video, we started doing videos, I started producing it.
Speaker B:I would hire the remote truck to come and you know, it's just one thing after another, building a corporate structure.
Speaker B:And then pretty soon it was, we need a human resource department.
Speaker B:So I created that marketing department, I created that and you know, pretty soon I'm chief operating officer.
Speaker B:My brother in law Jim was CEO and we were running pretty fair, fair size business.
Speaker A:And still I'm old enough that I still have a Zig Ziglar cassette tape, one of the originals.
Speaker A:And I actually still play it.
Speaker A:I have an old player that will play a cassette and I will still listen to it from time to time.
Speaker A:Because Even though it's 50 years down the road, the wisdom of that message is still so valuable.
Speaker A:And so I'm curious, we asked, you know, in the opening if anyone's ever wondered about their purpose or if they ever felt worthy of God or God's love for forgiveness.
Speaker A:Zig was big on his relationship with God, at least exteriorly.
Speaker A:Were you questioning your connection to God during that time too, or did you with your background have one?
Speaker B:No, I was just for religion.
Speaker B:It was when I went to college, I stopped going to church and, and following that behavior pattern.
Speaker B:But in, I married in Susan in 77 and in 78 she got sick and was at home in the apartment.
Speaker B:The only book in the place was a second book, Confessions of a Happy Christian.
Speaker B:And so she read it, came home one night and we sat down and started talking about this and about faith and about Jesus.
Speaker B:And I said, okay, I'll jump on this wagon and I'll follow this path with you.
Speaker B:And so we told Zig we just accepted Jesus.
Speaker B:And I had no clue what that meant.
Speaker B:And I was, I was willing to step on and follow that path and learn.
Speaker B:But all from, from that moment on, I was trying to follow all the behavior patterns.
Speaker B:I saw Zig, that he modeled it because he was the real thing.
Speaker B:People would often ask me, well, when he gets off the stage, what's he's like.
Speaker B:He's as real as it gets.
Speaker B:He's genuine.
Speaker B:Everything he says from the platform, he believes and he lives it.
Speaker B:His best friend was Bernie Lofchik from Winnipeg, Canada.
Speaker B:Still, Bernie's still alive, but he's Jewish.
Speaker B:And Zake never stopped trying to persuade him that to become a Christian because he said, you meant it, make a great Christian.
Speaker B:But they remained the closest friends until Zig passed away.
Speaker B:But I was on this path.
Speaker B:I had no idea what my purpose was.
Speaker B:I was trying to be the leader in a company that I thought I was expected to be.
Speaker B:And I was trying to do all this and it wasn't a genuine internal feeling.
Speaker B:So.
Speaker B: ly after Susan passed away in: Speaker B:And I was cast adrift.
Speaker B:I mean I was two daughters and one with special needs and I had no clue what was next.
Speaker B:But I was still on that path of I got to figure it out myself.
Speaker B:And this is a family thing.
Speaker B:Everybody was very self reliant in my family and my extended family.
Speaker B:And you would never, never talk to a counselor of any kind because that denoted a mental weakness that what would people think if they knew you were seeing somebody for advice on mental and emotional issues.
Speaker B:So I wasn't going to do that.
Speaker B:I did go to therapy and I did participate in grief counseling.
Speaker B:But again, I'm still having.
Speaker B:I got to figure this out myself.
Speaker B:So a few years later I met someone and decided this.
Speaker B:I need to get married because again, because I need to be rescued.
Speaker B:I need help and I'm still a man without a purpose, without a true mission statement, without.
Speaker B:I was just looking to somebody else to solve my problems.
Speaker B:And that led into a 20 year marriage of just doing the same thing, but retreating further into my head, trying to figure out all these big questions on my own.
Speaker B:We were going to church, we moved to Georgia and I was running another company there for briefly.
Speaker B:But then I got involved with a lot of ministries there.
Speaker B:Charles, we knew Charles Stanley, Andy Stanley, John Maxwell, the company I was working with, actually we did business with John Maxwell and then I got involved in a ministry ventures which was a incubator for ministry.
Speaker B:And I was advising them on how to structure their ministry, how to write their papers, how to create mission statements.
Speaker B:I was doing all these things that I didn't have internalized.
Speaker B:And it was until at the 20 year mark in my marriage, it was.
Speaker B:She said, I'm leaving you.
Speaker B:And because we don't have a relationship, I had withdrawn at that point from almost every relationship, every connection, certainly a relationship with God.
Speaker B:And that was the moment.
Speaker B:That was the.
Speaker B:Some people call it a come to Jesus meeting, some people call it a traumatic event of the 10th order.
Speaker B:Suddenly I'm sitting in an apartment alone, and I genuinely felt I was at rock bottom.
Speaker B:And I reached out and cried out, help.
Speaker B:God was there.
Speaker B:He was there at that moment.
Speaker B:And it was almost as if I heard in my head, not an audible voice, but God saying, you've done it your way all of your life.
Speaker B:How do you like me now?
Speaker B:And that was the moment I said, I love you, man.
Speaker B:And I began a total 180 degree shift in my thought process, my life, my actions.
Speaker B: gan a journey of, and this is: Speaker B: And Matthew: Speaker B:And he came.
Speaker B:Love your God with all your heart, all your mind, all your soul, love your neighbor as yourself.
Speaker B:And truly understanding that verse gave me my mission.
Speaker A:And when we have those moments and those type of changes occur, oftentimes our circle of friends change, but also our relationship with others, including our family, our friends, that also changes.
Speaker A:And then also, as you stated, our relationship with ourselves.
Speaker A:So how did your final evolution, not final, because we're always growing, but how did that moment change those things for you?
Speaker B:Well, by that time I didn't have any friends left to get rid of, you know, to explain my change of heart.
Speaker B:But I began acquiring genuine friends.
Speaker B:Now, it started with my family.
Speaker B:I'd been estranged from my, my oldest daughter for a while because of my second marriage.
Speaker B:She didn't like the family and the family didn't like her.
Speaker B:So it was a difficult relationship.
Speaker B:But I started, it changed with my daughter first and then the rest of the family second.
Speaker B:And then I became involved, deeply involved at church that I had, I'd carefully checked and selected.
Speaker B:But I suddenly started getting involved and volunteering and doing things I never did before, but caring about other people.
Speaker B:And I probably know we have a fairly large church and I probably know half the people there now, thousands at least by site.
Speaker B:And they know me because I take into sitting in the same seat every Sunday wearing distinctive colored clothing and.
Speaker B:But joining everything, you know, four men's groups, work with two or three charities, became on the board of one or two of the charities and just totally different, changing my actions, changing, showing the change in my heart and becoming genuine, open and transparent.
Speaker A:And so what led you to this?
Speaker A:Writing this book.
Speaker A:And now you, you're an author, now you're a speaker, which is different than corporate training.
Speaker A:You, you teach people that you don't need those trim, dramatic moments, you know, to, to pick yourself back up or to find your journey.
Speaker A:So what led you to this part of your journey?
Speaker B:Well, again, that's was a God thing totally in my life I've actually heard of audible voice from the Holy Spirit.
Speaker B:One of them.
Speaker B:Well, after Susan died was one morning in the middle of the.
Speaker B:Actually in the middle of the night in dead sleep, I woke up to.
Speaker B:Not her, not now, that voice.
Speaker B:And it was somebody I was dating at the time.
Speaker B:And so I obeyed it.
Speaker B:And next morning I had called her this person and had lunch and said, you know, we don't have a, we don't need to pursue this relationship anymore.
Speaker B:So.
Speaker B: d then the second time was in: Speaker B: No, I'm sorry, it's: Speaker B:And you're gonna write a book.
Speaker B:And I had never had a desire to write a book.
Speaker B:All the time with Zig, people would tell me, you need to write a book.
Speaker B:You got a wonderful experience meeting all these people that Zig knew and Zig and no, I don't want to write a book.
Speaker B:I just want to create things for you guys.
Speaker B:I was a process person and I'll create the environment to get done what you want done.
Speaker B:So it said, you're going to write a book.
Speaker B:So I literally jumped out of bed and ran to my computer and started writing.
Speaker B:By the time I sat down at the desk, I knew what I was going to write about.
Speaker B:And it was this story that I wrote the book about.
Speaker B: in everyone's Life is Matthew: Speaker B:It's love your God, love your neighbors as yourself.
Speaker B:And that, that was the point that started the whole thing.
Speaker A:And so now, as you've reflected back on your life, what do you feel your.
Speaker A:Before I finish that question, I think we all go through our own journey, our own pathway, our own mass and muck and it prepares us for something else down the road.
Speaker A:And when we're in the middle of it, we're certainly not, you know, sitting there cheering and thanking God for mess and the muck and the preparation.
Speaker A:We're just trying to find our way out.
Speaker A:So what do you feel now your purpose and mission on this earth is and how are you supposed to serve?
Speaker B:Well, part of dissecting my life going back to age 4 and realizing all of the waypoints that God had created for me because everything did build on.
Speaker B:It's what happened to me then to prepare me for each of my experiences in situations I found myself in.
Speaker B:So helping people to understand that everything works for good, God is good and creates all these experiences.
Speaker B:No matter how, you know, traumatic, difficult, awful could be at the time.
Speaker B:You know, the passing of family, the death of friends or horrible relationships all have a purpose that is good at the end of the day and that you can learn from all of this.
Speaker B:It's how you react to it.
Speaker B:Instead of reacting, you should respond to it.
Speaker B:In other words, how can I see this in a different way?
Speaker B:How can I turn it for my benefit and others benefit?
Speaker B:So I now take all this process mindedness I've had all my life and I'm helping ministries get organized, have their efforts be more effective.
Speaker B:And I'm doing that.
Speaker B:I'm on the board of one of them in particular and I've got their, I'm planning their entire next year's budget and business plan.
Speaker B:It's right here on my desk and I've already rewritten all the material.
Speaker B:I've looked at their corporate papers to make sure that their board structure is correct.
Speaker B:And it's funny how people can start a ministry to do good but then at the same time be fearful of losing it because they've had friends have that experience.
Speaker B:So I helped them with the strategic vision and with the now it's with the their budget and all that and their business plan going forward and then other others I mentor with high school students and I can pass on to these 15, 16, 17 year old kids who actually have some idea of their direction, help them refine that and hone in on really what's important, you know, not what's going on in the high school age world.
Speaker B:In fact, the last meeting we had at the high school was the same day that in Frisco, Texas we had this horrific where one student Stabbed to death another student.
Speaker B:Many of the people there knew one of the other participants in that horrible event.
Speaker B:We didn't really talk about it a lot, but I helped them understand how to live in the world today.
Speaker B:Some of the students we mentor are migrants, our families of migrants.
Speaker B:And they're legally here.
Speaker B:But how do they deal with this?
Speaker B:A new day?
Speaker B:So it's how to deal with life.
Speaker B:I can help other.
Speaker B:I'm helping several other ministries actually become 501c3 nonprofits.
Speaker A:We live in a fairly darkened time.
Speaker A:And it's interesting because you know, you, you lived through the Vietnam War.
Speaker A:I grew up in that era.
Speaker A:We all think that the time that we were going through our childhood in our teen years and our 20s was kind of a darkened time in our society.
Speaker A:And so the young people today say the same things we were saying as children.
Speaker A:You know, it's a dark world, bleak and not hopeful.
Speaker A:But I think social media and the broadness of information has made it actually worse because social media has made it less social.
Speaker A:They don't know how to handle the stressors as well.
Speaker A:They don't know how to interact as well.
Speaker A:They certainly don't know where to look for God as well.
Speaker A:And you grew up in a church household.
Speaker A:But I don't believe God is found in the church.
Speaker A:I think he's found in the connection with the people around the church or elsewhere in whatever spiritual connection.
Speaker A:I always said as a kid and I even wrote papers on it in high school, religion was the worst thing that happened to God.
Speaker A:So it's interesting that you're now working with these type of individuals when they seem so disillusioned by life in general.
Speaker A:And many that I've spoken to don't have a belief that there is a God.
Speaker A:They're not quite atheists, but they don't quite know where to find it when they're going through this.
Speaker A:How do you introduce the concept of something that can only really be felt, not seen?
Speaker B:It's like selling things that you can't see.
Speaker B:And one thing we did with Zig is as I was recording a series on the road, I didn't have a product to sell.
Speaker B:We had an empty cassette binder and I said, we made a joke out.
Speaker B:I'm selling you air a non existent product right now, but promise it will come.
Speaker B:So it's.
Speaker B:I've sold.
Speaker B:What are the.
Speaker B:I'm trying to think of what.
Speaker B:Of the word they call something you can't see.
Speaker B:It's not.
Speaker B:Doesn't have a physical form yet.
Speaker B:It's concept, it's.
Speaker B:But beside that, I try to help everybody and everybody.
Speaker B:I kind, everybody I know, friends, students, they all deal with anxiety about what's happening in the world.
Speaker B:And they don't know what's happening.
Speaker B:They don't know what the future holds.
Speaker B:They get upset about today's news or somebody said on social media.
Speaker B:And my answer to that is based on my life.
Speaker B:I don't have anxiety anymore about anything.
Speaker B:I know that there is a reason for everything that's happening right now.
Speaker B:And I tell them at the end of the day, I know the end of the story, I know how it ends.
Speaker B:And you should not be anxious about anything that's happening, because everything that happens has been foretold.
Speaker B:And I can now point to scripture where everything that has happened today or is happening today has already happened before.
Speaker B:It's not new.
Speaker B:Putin, Russia.
Speaker B:That's not new.
Speaker B:That's old news.
Speaker B:But it's.
Speaker B:It just is reenacting itself today.
Speaker B:Especially my grandson, who's 10 and he's going to a.
Speaker B:A private classical school.
Speaker B:They teach classical stuff.
Speaker B:He learns Latin there.
Speaker B:It's not a Catholic or denominational school, but it is a Christian school.
Speaker B:And he learns math the old way by memorizing the multiplication, division tables and things like that.
Speaker B:So he does it in his head.
Speaker B:He can do math in his head that college graduates can't do now at 10.
Speaker B:But I tell them, don't worry, and they come to me.
Speaker B:He comes to me for everything that he has to every project in history that he has to do.
Speaker B:He comes to me because I'm a history buff and I got it.
Speaker B:And the Bible is one of the greatest history books ever written.
Speaker B:It's also one of the greatest science fiction books ever written.
Speaker B:I talk about, because he's big into dinosaurs, and I say, you know, there's a reference in the Old Testament about dinosaurs and monsters in the sea.
Speaker B:And, you know, he doesn't understand the background of that or, you know, can't read the Old Testament yet.
Speaker B:But I try to help people understand.
Speaker B:Even, you know, all the adults I have, my friends, my parents, my kids have plenty of friends in their social circle.
Speaker B:And I know all of them now I'm one of their friends also, so I can talk to them about, relax, you know, the stuff that's buffeting you back and forth socially or economically, like with your business.
Speaker B:Don't worry about it.
Speaker A:It's all been decided and it's all been done before.
Speaker B:It's all been done before.
Speaker A:How do you Help individuals begin their journey to finding their purpose.
Speaker B:One thing I've learned, I've known, but I've actually learned it.
Speaker B:I mean, you can know things intellectually, and that was where I was for most of my life, intellectually.
Speaker B:Oh, I know that.
Speaker B:But understanding and believing it is a different thing entirely.
Speaker B:So I know now that everybody is born with a gift, not a whole bunch of gifts.
Speaker B:And you got to spend your life figuring it out.
Speaker B:You have a gift that you are best at.
Speaker B:And we go through, what do you like to do?
Speaker B:What are your hobbies?
Speaker B:What do you.
Speaker B:What did you enjoy as a kid doing?
Speaker B:I mean, what do you like to do?
Speaker B:So maybe your gift is a teacher.
Speaker B:Maybe your gift is being the rock for people who are cast to and fro by the storms of life.
Speaker B:Being a father, being a mother.
Speaker B:I talk to the people about this and it calms them because now I need to go find that gift.
Speaker B:What is that gift?
Speaker B:How do you do that?
Speaker A:Some people are under the misconception, though, that their purpose or their gift or their, you know, is supposed to be some grandiose thing.
Speaker A:And it's sometimes can be, but more often than times, it's pretty basic and simple.
Speaker A:But it's your gift that needs to be given to help serve others in your corner of the world.
Speaker B:Absolutely.
Speaker B:I tell people that I started volunteering, I started serving others, and through that process, I tell families that your kids can discover their purpose by beginning to serve others.
Speaker B:Volunteer.
Speaker B:There's some Barna research has done some things, and I know my numbers are not exactly correct.
Speaker B:I need to look up that study.
Speaker B:But kids who go to church with their parents sitting in the pew in service, when they leave home, they're only about in the 20% range for staying with the faith.
Speaker B:But kids who go to church and Sunday school, well, that percentage increases to like 37, 40%.
Speaker B:But the kids who volunteer and serve others, that percentage is high in the high 70s to 80%.
Speaker B:They'll stay with their faith when they get out on their own.
Speaker B:So I say, you know, are you volunteering to pick the kids?
Speaker B:See you volunteering, and, and the charity I work with, and I, I'm the, I'm the volunteer wrangler.
Speaker B:I call myself getting volunteers to do all kinds of different things.
Speaker B:But I said bring the kids, you know, toddlers, yeah, probably not.
Speaker B:But as soon as they get to be 8, 9, 10 year old, yes, they can come, they can at least watch.
Speaker B:If they can't do anything physically, like bag food or something, but definitely as A teenager, they can start volunteering.
Speaker B:And I see a lot of them doing it through our church, through other churches, because we combine other churches of volunteers to do accomplish our missions.
Speaker B:And that's, that's a beginning point.
Speaker B:You want to discover your gift, Volunteer.
Speaker A:I think the other that you do well and that you help people with because service to others is what we're supposed to be here for.
Speaker A:We're not here for ourselves.
Speaker A:And people don't understand the more you give, the actual more you will receive.
Speaker A:You know, the problem is people think that it's PI and it's finite and that if they don't have their one little slice, there's no other slices.
Speaker A:But it's not pie.
Speaker A:It's your own bakery.
Speaker A:There's infinite pie.
Speaker A:You can make as much pie as you want and you can give as much pie away.
Speaker A:But the other part of that is the forgiveness piece because they feel unworthy, they feel unworthy of their gift or that anyone will want their gift, whatever that is.
Speaker A:So how do you address the forgiveness part?
Speaker B:Well, you've said two things right now that are very big for me is number one is the gifts of God that he, he can give you the man, the person, the entity that created the universe.
Speaker B:Don't you think that his resources are infinite?
Speaker B:And so there's, there is no pie.
Speaker B:There is no limited amount of gold or riches or things, stuff in our lives.
Speaker B:And so I have found I turned over all my resources, physical and not non physical, but certainly all income, all real, real stuff.
Speaker B:I said, God, it's yours.
Speaker B:You can determine how it goes.
Speaker B:I've spent a lot of money that some people would call foolish publishing this book, taking trips to do research.
Speaker B:I have donated a lot of money to entities and more comes I cannot.
Speaker B:I have some 401ks that I inherited that I have my own and you know, my Social Security and I'm retired now, but every, every year I just tell my advisors and I don't even check my accounts, he just writes me an email and said, well, all of your accounts together just decreased 300 this month or this year.
Speaker B:So it's I, it grows more than I can take out and there's more there than I can ever wish to have.
Speaker B:So the other one is if you take Matthew 22, because this is where it all began for me and it begins, should begin for everybody.
Speaker B:But love you God, with all your heart, all your mind, all your soul.
Speaker B:And then love yourself, love your neighbors as yourself.
Speaker B:You can't love yourself until you love God.
Speaker B:You can't love God until you love your neighbors.
Speaker B:You can't love your neighbors until you love God.
Speaker B:And you can't, you can't love yourself until you love neighbors.
Speaker B:So through the process of volunteering, through the process of learning about God, studying the Bible, going to classes, seeking knowledge from other people that know more than you, which is.
Speaker B:I do.
Speaker B:I'm in regular classes every Monday night about different parts of the Bible and scriptural knowledge.
Speaker B:And I've forgiven myself.
Speaker B:I have forgiven everybody in my life who either were part of a unfortunate experience, traumatic experience.
Speaker B:This is hard when you're divorced and you have an ex wife who may never forgive you, but I have.
Speaker B:But to get to the point where you can forgive yourself really removes the last barrier in your spiritual journey and richness and fullness to achieve what I call the abundant life.
Speaker B:The Bible doesn't refer specifically to an abundant life in many places, but all of the riches that is promised, especially in the New Testament, it's available and I call it the abundant life.
Speaker B:But you can't get there unless you forgive yourself, unless you love God and love your neighbors.
Speaker B:Those three things just fundamental.
Speaker A:It's fundamental.
Speaker A:It's very.
Speaker A:Sometimes the hardest things are the easiest things.
Speaker A:Sometimes the easiest things are the hardest things.
Speaker A:And forgiveness of self is such a cornerstone to healing and moving forward and having a connection with God, spirit, universe, your neighbor, your brother, your family, whatever.
Speaker A:You can't have that connection until you feel worthy.
Speaker A:And you can't feel worthy until you've forgiven yourself because there's nothing for you to forgive.
Speaker A:You've already been forgiven.
Speaker A:So it's a complex wheel that can be simplified if people just slow it down a little bit.
Speaker B:Exactly.
Speaker B:See, I never forgave myself.
Speaker B:I always thought there were some things in my life that I thought in my head or that I actually did, that God could never forgive me with that, even though it's very explicit in scripture that he does.
Speaker B:And it's very been very explicitly explained to me.
Speaker B:But through the process of.
Speaker B:I got a regular biblical counselor I go to.
Speaker B:I started out going every week, now it's twice a month.
Speaker B:We're almost on the same level.
Speaker B:And that's not a facetious thing I say.
Speaker B:But we talk about things that he needs to hear and things I need to hear that keeps me grounded.
Speaker B:But I am enrolled in regular classes every Monday night throughout the year for the last three years.
Speaker B:That increased my knowledge.
Speaker B:And I study this.
Speaker B:And it's an active.
Speaker B:It's an active process.
Speaker B:But forgiving Myself was kind of the last barrier or stronghold we call it for me to get over.
Speaker B:I still have difficulty with it.
Speaker B:It still comes into my thought processes and it still attacks me.
Speaker B:And we know where that comes from.
Speaker B:I mean Satan uses the simplest tools.
Speaker B:He has never changed his methods.
Speaker B:He used the same lame methods he used on Jesus in the wilderness and but it comes with different colors now we've got social media, everything that everything.
Speaker B:I turned off my TV two years ago and I love it.
Speaker B:I, I am so used to, I don't get to watch a lot of sports anymore.
Speaker B:I have to go to my grandson, my stepson's house, not steps on my son in law's house to watch football.
Speaker B:But that's okay.
Speaker A:It gives you family.
Speaker B:I listen I must do a lot of podcasts.
Speaker B:I listened to some of yours this morning.
Speaker B:And Mark Victor Davis Hansen, if you've ever listened to him, he is a solidly grounded man who explains what's going on today.
Speaker B:And he's a, he's a Stanford chairman of a department there or fellow there and he's been teaching and speaking, but he's just real, he's a, he's a farmer in California, believe it or not, plus a highly educated man.
Speaker B:CS Lewis has got so much he's been got.
Speaker B:Philip Yancey is another author that I love book and in one year I read 34 books and last year I deducted about 45 books from my tax return.
Speaker B:Now that I'm an author, I can deduct stuff like that anyway, so it's an ongoing process.
Speaker B:But loving yourself is pretty hard.
Speaker A:Well, I appreciate that you've joined us today to share your message and share your purpose.
Speaker A:I'm going to ask you the final question that I do ask all the guests and if you did listen to a couple shows, you know it's coming.
Speaker A:What in your capacity now, what does a warrior spirit or having a warrior spirit mean to Chad?
Speaker B:It means number one, being honest, open and transparent or hot in life daily with everyone you meet, regardless of the situation, then you have nothing to hide.
Speaker B:You don't have to worry about what people expect of you as long as they are expecting honest, open transparency.
Speaker B:And you tell people like it is and you believe and act like it is and it's, it's just real life.
Speaker B:It's real.
Speaker B:You don't have anything to cover up.
Speaker B:You don't have anything to apologize for.
Speaker B:Well, you do if you make make a real mistake and you apologize for it.
Speaker B:But as far as your behavior, your beliefs, just be real open and transparent, and that makes you a genuine person who will always be a source of stability and constancy to everybody you know.
Speaker A:Well, I appreciate that you've taken your time to be a source of genuine openness here, and I appreciate you doing this with me.
Speaker A:And I hope you have a really blessed day.
Speaker A:And I would love to follow your path and see where you go.
Speaker B:Well, you're welcome to circle back anytime.
Speaker A:Alrighty.
Speaker A:Well, I appreciate it.
Speaker A:And if you would like to get in contact with Chad, he has his website, ChadWitmer.com or any of his social media platforms.
Speaker A:And as always, I thank you for joining us on this edition of A Warrior Spirit.
Speaker A:Be sure to hit that like or subscribe button so you catch all the episodes and have a genuine blessed day on your own path and your own journey.
Speaker B:It's how we rise from it.
