Surviving the Streets: Turning Pain into Purpose
We're diving deep into the wild world of mentorship and resilience today, as we chat with Charles Prinzen, the badass founder of Follow Your Dreams Athletics.
This dude didn’t just come from a rough background; he’s been through a whirlwind of chaos and abuse that would make most people throw in the towel. But instead of letting the past drag him down, he's turned it into fuel for his mission to guide young men away from the streets and into sports, helping them break those nasty generational curses.
We’ll get into the nitty-gritty of how he went from being a troubled youth, bouncing between homes and schools, to a CEO and a beacon of hope for at-risk kids.
Buckle up, because this conversation is all about finding strength in vulnerability, the power of forgiveness, and maybe a few laughs along the way as we explore what it really means to have a warrior spirit.
You can connect with Charles at:
Takeaways:
- Charles Prinzen's journey showcases how mentorship can profoundly impact young men's lives.
- Overcoming a tumultuous upbringing, Charles emphasizes the importance of sports in youth development.
- Forgiving oneself is crucial for healing from past trauma and moving forward in life.
- The podcast highlights the significance of spirituality in navigating life’s challenges and finding purpose.
- Charles discusses the struggle with inherited anger and the importance of releasing it.
- The episode explores the absurdity of societal expectations around masculinity and emotional expression.
Transcript
Hey, welcome back to another episode of A Warrior Spirit, the show where the inner warrior shines in their light.
Speaker A:Presented by Praxis33, the company that aligns your thoughts, goals and actions to create your best life.
Speaker A:I'm your host, Darrel Snow.
Speaker A:And young men need mentors and guidance from other quality men.
Speaker A:And today we're going to be talking with Charles Prinzen.
Speaker A:Charles is the CEO and founder of Follow youw Dreams Athletics, specializing in one on one coaching in football, basketball, and he's also a life coach and motivational speaker.
Speaker A:So, Charles K.
Speaker A:Hold on.
Speaker A:MK Mo Ikimo mai.
Speaker A:Did I say right?
Speaker A:I'm saying Hawaii.
Speaker B:Okay, just speed it up a little bit.
Speaker A:Ikimomai.
Speaker B:There you go.
Speaker A:Yeah, I even wore my Hawaiian shirt for you.
Speaker B:Nice.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker A:Charles, you originally hailed from Hawaii before you moved to your current Indiana location.
Speaker A:So I, I just wanted to kind of honor the, the Hawaiian part.
Speaker B:Not, not a problem.
Speaker B:You did, you did pono.
Speaker B:All pono was good.
Speaker B:Or maikai.
Speaker B:Maikai is very good.
Speaker A:I'll switch it to Spanish and go.
Speaker A:Paquito.
Speaker A:Poquito.
Speaker B:Esp.
Speaker A:Charles, I appreciate you joining me today.
Speaker A:Did you grow up in Hawaii or was that your stop previous to coming to the States?
Speaker B:That was my stop previously to come to Fort Wayne, Indiana.
Speaker B:I was raised, born and raised in Southern California and then I spent several years in Northern California before I relocated to Hawaii to be with part of my family.
Speaker A:So in California, from my understanding, you had a fairly tumultuous abusive upbringing.
Speaker A:Was that from both parents or just one or.
Speaker B:Well, I mean, unfortunately it was a combination of my stepdad being the abusive domestic violence and then also very, very, very child abusive.
Speaker B:So my mother just endured it.
Speaker B:Unfortunately, we left, we came back.
Speaker B:We left, we came back.
Speaker B:That's why by the time I was in my sophomore year at my high school, I had attended 28 schools.
Speaker B:That's from being on welfare, off welfare, moving, getting away from him.
Speaker B:But she always went back.
Speaker B:So.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker A:And from what I know of your story, you actually ran away or left or got out of the situation at 16.
Speaker B:I ran away at 16.
Speaker B:Prior to that, I had a young lady, she was a little older than me, she was a senior and she actually became my mentor.
Speaker B:And when I had had enough, I wasn't going to take another beating.
Speaker B:When they came back from their three day binge, I knew it was coming and I ran out of the house with the clothes on my back.
Speaker B:I went to my mentor and she had been telling her mother about me and I was Adopted legally adopted by a widow Japanese lady with two daughters.
Speaker B:And she put me through high school.
Speaker A:Wow.
Speaker A:And during that time, from my own experience of child abuse and watching others have gone through it, children can go one of two ways at that point.
Speaker A:They can either run to the streets and the gang life and the drugs and the alcohol, or they can, you know, say, I'm never going to be like that and do everything they can to go in the opposite direction.
Speaker A:Which path did you choose?
Speaker B:Well, it was kind of sort of a combination because as I was growing up, from the age of seven to, well, 16, but more so the age from seven to 14, I was arrested at seven years old for robbery because of peer pressure from my cousins had me steal a money box from a rodeo.
Speaker B:And we got caught.
Speaker B:And so seven years old, I was in jail and they arrested me for robbery.
Speaker B:And it just continued, you know, the drinking, the alcohol, the drugs I was going through.
Speaker B:And then just finally had a.
Speaker B:A guy tell me he has heard and seen my name many times.
Speaker B:And if he heard us all my name again, had I ever heard up the river without a paddle?
Speaker B:I said, yes, sir.
Speaker B:He said, well, if I see or hear your name again, I was already on probation.
Speaker B:He said, I will put you on that raft or that canoe without a paddle.
Speaker B:And he paused, and then he said, do you get my drift?
Speaker B:So right about 14 is when I started cleaning up a little bit because I.
Speaker B:I didn't want to.
Speaker B:I'd been arrested many times and I didn't want to go back.
Speaker B:So after that, it was.
Speaker B:I became more involved in sports and stuff, even more so my.
Speaker B:My sophomore year in high school because I lettered in five sports.
Speaker B:Sports kept me off the streets.
Speaker B:Sports kept me out of trouble.
Speaker B:And it.
Speaker B:It got me an opportunity to graduate from high school and start moving the right way.
Speaker B:So kind of sort of both ways.
Speaker B:You know, I was in the bad, but I did not like being caged.
Speaker B:I did not like being put in jail.
Speaker B:And besides that, my father was in.
Speaker B:My father was awarded the state of California at 12 years old by my grandmother.
Speaker B:And he was in and out of concentration camps or not concentrating, but.
Speaker B:But youth authorities.
Speaker B:And then he ended up going to prison for a while, and I didn't want to go down that path.
Speaker B:So because our youth are victims of the environment that they live in, and whatever environment that they're in, whether it's positive then or negative, they're going to end up.
Speaker B:That's called traits.
Speaker B:They're going to end up carrying those traits.
Speaker B:And it will come out sooner or later.
Speaker B:So, so I hope I answered your question.
Speaker B:Kind of sort of both sides.
Speaker B:I was, I was in a really bad situation where I was doing, you know, alcohol and drugs and smoking and doing bad things and then decided that I did not want to go down that path and I didn't want to get on that canoe without a paddle in that river that's going to flow wherever it flows and I don't get to go where I want to go.
Speaker B:I kind of sort of brightened up a little bit.
Speaker A:That's, I mean it's a common theme for those who, you know, they go down that path and then they get to a dark place and they say no more and then they change paths.
Speaker A:Usually that happens from the mid years to the twenties, not from seven.
Speaker A:I've been around the block a lot like you and I have rarely heard of a seven year old being put in prison.
Speaker A:I mean I, my, my family has members who have been in youth homes because of their detention homes because of their behavior.
Speaker A:But wow.
Speaker B:Let me clarify, let me clarify.
Speaker B:Okay.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker B:My father was in and out of prison and, and youth authorities at, from 12 and then at 17 they got tired of him breaking out of the CYA or youth authorities in California and they put him in San Quentin.
Speaker B:Me, I got arrested by the Lakewood Sheriff's Department and was put behind bars at 7 because of peer pressure.
Speaker B:And that's something that a lot of young individuals deal with when they have older siblings.
Speaker B:And for me it was my cousins, they were like my siblings and they, they had me do things that, that you know, I did either because we enjoyed it or I did it because I was afraid of maybe my cousin, my male cousin knocking me out or whatever.
Speaker B:But peer pressure is something that's very hard to deal with when you're growing up as a young, a young adult or a young kid.
Speaker A:We spoke a little bit and, and I, I've known of you, of course, but you're spiritual individual and you and I both know from our own past that without our connection to God we wouldn't be here both in the capacity that we are.
Speaker A:Where did you find.
Speaker A:And we both had this same discussion.
Speaker A:We both feel that religion is a man made organization that is actually a deterrent to God.
Speaker A:Spirituality is your own personal love and connection to God.
Speaker A:Wherever you find that.
Speaker A:Where did you find your spirituality and what age did that come to play into your life?
Speaker A:Because you know, you and I both know you wouldn't be alive without it.
Speaker B:True.
Speaker B:Well, it Started at a very young age at my mother ended up taking me when my father and her divorce, she took me and my father took my, my blood sister and she married a gentleman by the name of Calvin Smith.
Speaker B:And Calvin was a very abusive man.
Speaker B:And at three years old, roughly just about three years old, one evening he beat me because I accidentally peed on him when he was changing my.
Speaker B:From my training pants to my diapers.
Speaker B:And they arrested him.
Speaker B:He was incarcerated for a while and they put me in a safe home.
Speaker B:And this is where it started one day out in the garage, in the backyard, fenced in yard.
Speaker B:I was safe, okay?
Speaker B:I wasn't being abused anymore.
Speaker B:Got on a swing set and I started swinging on a beautiful no cloud day.
Speaker B:And I looked up as you're looking up as you're swinging, you know, you always like to look up.
Speaker B:And I looked up and I.
Speaker B:And I told myself, I said, I know you're up there because they taught me this in Sunday school.
Speaker B:Do me a favor, let me get old.
Speaker B:And I promise that if you let me get old, I'll make it right.
Speaker B:And that's kind of sort of where it started.
Speaker B:But you know, I still had my, my, still had the evil in me, still was growing up.
Speaker B:But I made the commitment to believing because I went to Sunday school and they taught me Jesus loves me.
Speaker B:Yes, I know.
Speaker B:So that was always something strong within me.
Speaker B:It was still dealing with, with growing up in life.
Speaker B:So that's kind of sort of where I knew.
Speaker B:And then obviously the journey, you know, is because upon conception we, we are given life by our Creator, who I choose to call God.
Speaker B:You know, our Creator has many names and I choose to call him my God.
Speaker B:Upon conception, we're given life, but we're not just given life, we're given a journey.
Speaker B:We all know that.
Speaker B:We, many people speak about that.
Speaker B:We're given a journey, but we're also given an hourglass.
Speaker B:Every single one of us when we're given life that only God knows or the Creator knows how much sand or how much time you have in your hourglass that he gave you when he gave you life to complete the journey that he had for you when he gave you life.
Speaker B:So that I'm a strong believer in that.
Speaker B:And so I am very spiritual and I'm very grateful to my God that he has allowed me to make it one more click.
Speaker B:I'm 70 years old.
Speaker B:So hey, I'm still here doing what I need to do, and I'm still making it right.
Speaker A:Well, I just turned 60.
Speaker A:So I appreciate every drop of sand still in my hourglass as well, because I, I totally agree with you.
Speaker A:We, we aren't given an infinite amount of time, but we need to make the time we're given infinitely impactful.
Speaker A:And not many of us get the opportunity to change, to do better with the impact that we want to on others.
Speaker A:And you did that because now you help other youth and other young men, you know, find their way off the streets and out of their own version of the canoe.
Speaker A:What got you into mentoring and guiding the youth?
Speaker B:Like I had said earlier when I became a sophomore high school, there's a lot of activities and that's kind of sort of where follow your dreams, athletics comes in.
Speaker B:Because if it wasn't for sports, if it wasn't for activities, like I was even in the band, the marching band and, and we went to football games on Friday nights and did all that.
Speaker B:So it was the activities in school.
Speaker B:I lettered in five sports.
Speaker B:Football, track, water polo, wrestling and swimming.
Speaker B:Obviously I had a good home because I'm now in an environment, a positive environment in a foster home.
Speaker B:And I was doing positive things.
Speaker B:And if it wasn't for my coaches and my counselors and my teachers, I don't know where I would be if I didn't turn to sports.
Speaker B:And in order to have sports, in order to have activities within the school, you have to carry a certain grade.
Speaker B:So I did that and I had amazing coaches.
Speaker B:Like I said in my senior year after I graduated.
Speaker B:So in 74, I graduated in 75, I became a basketball coach for 12 year old rec boys rec with my uncle Ed.
Speaker B:And I never looked back.
Speaker B:And I've been coaching ever since.
Speaker B:So that's, that's kind of sort of because I'm paying it forward, I'm giving back.
Speaker B:I will never forget.
Speaker B:See, in the street you have two ways you can forget where you came from and, and just go off in another, another world, whatever, or you can remember where you came from and reach out to those that you want to give.
Speaker B:Like, you know, if it wasn't for a beautiful widowed Japanese lady that took this damaged 16 year old, I mean damaged 16 year old kid into her home, I don't know where, but it was, it was the foundation.
Speaker B:So you have the foundation of a good home, you have good education, you have people that believe in you.
Speaker B:Because I was at risk.
Speaker B:I mean 28 schools, 18 elementaries, nine juniors, and finally was settled into one high school.
Speaker B:And that's where it all worked for me.
Speaker B:And I'm not going to forget all of those good coaches, those counselors, those, the principal, even that, that believed in me.
Speaker B:And so that's where I am a coach.
Speaker B:I help people or I help our youth learn how to play certain sports.
Speaker B:But I also integrate the fact that school activities, athletics will help you in your future.
Speaker B:So but in order to do so, you got to maintain your grades.
Speaker B:So I like to, I like to put together education and athletics or, or activities that give you the incentive to keep that 2.0, which it did for me, because if not, I wouldn't have let it in five sports and I wouldn't be where I'm at today because I would have went down the wrong path.
Speaker A:Did five sport star?
Speaker A:Did any of those sports put a calling in you to maybe go to the next level?
Speaker A:Pro college.
Speaker B:Football was my number one and still is.
Speaker B:I have young men that I've coached that are playing in the NFL right now.
Speaker B:I have young men that are playing D1 colleges and even young ladies.
Speaker B:I even have a young man that I coach that played pro football for a little bit.
Speaker B:And then he called me two years ago and said, hey, coach, I need you to come down and help me campaign.
Speaker B:27 years old.
Speaker B:Campaign?
Speaker B:Campaign for what, Mike?
Speaker B:I'm running for mayor.
Speaker B:Mayor.
Speaker B:I live 400 miles away.
Speaker B:He said, yeah, mayor.
Speaker B:I said, where?
Speaker B:He said, compton.
Speaker B:I said, I'll be right there.
Speaker B:The next day I, I was down in Compton.
Speaker B:I was walking the streets of Compton, knocking on doors and helping Mike campaign for mayor of Compton.
Speaker B:So, you know, it's, it's the fact that, that I know that what I was given, I'm paying it forward when I was given an opportunity.
Speaker B:And so one sport that I stood out for me was, was football.
Speaker B:I actually played semi pro football.
Speaker B:I was on a team in LA called the LA Mustangs, right in the center of Watts.
Speaker B: That was: Speaker B:But unfortunately you have good coaches that really think about you and care about you and, and look at you for what you have or it's a game.
Speaker B:And unfortunately, when I went to that tryout in Long beach, it was more of a game because they already had a list of people that they had already worked out of contact and I was just a nobody.
Speaker B:I said, I'm no, I'm not going to waste my time because I've had coaches that, that actually cut me off from participating because they have the power to, to either put you on the playing field or not.
Speaker B:And I had enough, so.
Speaker B: and tried out for the USFL in: Speaker A:That's still a pretty cool journey just to experience all that.
Speaker A:We talked off camera a little bit.
Speaker A:And as much as you're, you know, paying it forward and you're giving back and you're, and you're doing these wonderful things, there's still the PTSD from the childhood experiences that can be a trigger point for you.
Speaker A:It still causes anger issues.
Speaker A:And like I said, I'm 60 years old, and it wasn't until I was 58 that I finally released my anger through therapy and help from people that loved and support me.
Speaker A:So I know what it's like living your whole life, even as good as you're trying to be and as good as you're trying to give back.
Speaker A:Because, you know, my stepfather was my savior in my house and he helped me learn integrity, honor, your word is your bond.
Speaker A:You know, all those things.
Speaker A:So he always taught us to also give back.
Speaker A:And my father was, he was injured when he was 18 years old and he lived his life disabled, but he never let his disability ever stop him.
Speaker A:And even though he was a blue collar worker who raised five kids, we didn't have a lot.
Speaker A:You know, macaroni and cheese was, was our staple and Hamburger Helper was a good night.
Speaker A:So we by no means grew up rich, but we always gave back and we always helped others.
Speaker A:And if somebody was in need, you went and you, you did your part.
Speaker A:So I understand that same dichotomy that you have, but I also understand the anger and I also understand the rage.
Speaker A:I have broken my best friend's leg in two places because of rage.
Speaker A:And I used to get blackout mad where I wouldn't even remember what I did 10 minutes after I did it.
Speaker A:So I can relate to all that you are dealing with.
Speaker A:How have you combated and how have you dealt with it so that it doesn't destroy every relationship in your life?
Speaker A:Because it can.
Speaker A:Rage will.
Speaker B:Well, no, it's, it's the journey.
Speaker B:It's the journey.
Speaker B:And there are, there are parts of the journey which I choose to call, you know, you have the mainstream, which is the journey.
Speaker B:But then we have paths that we go off on, whether it's a positive path or a negative path within the journey that, that our Creator has given us.
Speaker B:And you know, I'm, I'm not.
Speaker B:Don't, don't judge somebody for who they were within their journey.
Speaker B:Accept them for who they have become.
Speaker B:Because of the lessons, the wisdom, the knowledge that they've learned along the way.
Speaker B:So I'm, I'm going to lay a little something out.
Speaker B:My stepdad almost killed me a couple times.
Speaker B:And I, I watched my mother brutally be, be stabbed and beaten and.
Speaker B:About 27 years old.
Speaker B:Well, prior to when I knew I had a problem.
Speaker B:You said that you blacked out and didn't know.
Speaker B:One day I had to take my, my niece home, and, and my mother had been drinking a lot, and my best friend was with me, and I got pulled over by the cops.
Speaker B:I didn't have a license.
Speaker B:I was 15 years old.
Speaker B:And I went back with the ticket, and my mother was really drunk, and she jumped up after questioning and, and started slapping me across the face.
Speaker B:I mean, literally just making contact on both sides of my face.
Speaker B:And I heard myself say, hit me again.
Speaker B:Hit me again.
Speaker B:I was 15, and then I didn't see anything.
Speaker B:I, I, I literally blacked out.
Speaker B:And, and I used the other side.
Speaker B:There is, there is another side.
Speaker B:And, and that's, that's Chucky.
Speaker B:And when Chuck came around, my mother was at the base of my feet in a fetal position.
Speaker B:And my best friend witnessed this.
Speaker B:I had beat my mother, and I didn't even know it because I flipped, my mind flipped, and the anger of all those years of being, you know, abused and angry came out.
Speaker B:So as I was getting older, one, There was a time where I put my hands on my girlfriend, and I literally had a stepdaughter.
Speaker B:I called her my stepdaughter.
Speaker B:I, I literally abused her.
Speaker B:I threw her across the room and into a wall.
Speaker B:And I stopped, and I asked myself, what are you doing?
Speaker B:And I went and seek help.
Speaker B:I went to a psychologist, a psychiatrist.
Speaker B:I told him what was going on.
Speaker B:And he looked at me and said, you have traits.
Speaker B:I said, excuse me?
Speaker B:He said, you have traits.
Speaker B:I said, can you, can you, can you break that down for me?
Speaker B:He says, well, you're, you were raised in a very negative environment, and your stepdad is coming out, and he's like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Speaker B:Time out, time out.
Speaker B:Now you, now you're going somewhere.
Speaker B:Where?
Speaker B:But I had to, I had to filter this.
Speaker B:And as I listened to him, it made a lot of sense that that's where traits, traits will come out, whether it's suicide, alcohol, drugs, incarceration traits, negative traits will come out from the environment that you live in as you get older, and they'll come out whenever they choose to come out.
Speaker B:So when I became abusive to both my Girlfriend and my.
Speaker B:My stepdaughter.
Speaker B:I had to go find and seek help.
Speaker B:And that's.
Speaker B:That's kind of sort of the turning point of.
Speaker B:And it wasn't easy because I do have a very, very.
Speaker B:I learned how to control it.
Speaker B:I've really.
Speaker B:It's almost 70.
Speaker B:I've learned how to control it, but it's still there.
Speaker B:Ptsd.
Speaker B:I've had many people ask me all the time, were you.
Speaker B:Were you, like, in the military?
Speaker B:No.
Speaker B:Were you, like, emt?
Speaker B:No.
Speaker B:Were you, like, a.
Speaker B:A police officer?
Speaker B:Nope.
Speaker B:Well, how do you know you have PTSD?
Speaker B:From 13 years of the most ugliest domestic child abuse environment that you could imagine.
Speaker B:My mother passed away on Mother's Day at 44 years old from 22 years of abuse that she chose to stay in at one month away from her 45th birthday.
Speaker B:So these traits, you know, prior to follow your dreams athletics, I.
Speaker B:I had a little.
Speaker B:A little thing.
Speaker B:I was a CEO and founder of Me Ink now, which stood for me expressing I need change now.
Speaker B:And that came through me or to me from above, because I spent eight hours in the garage doodling and trying to figure out what, what, what, what?
Speaker B:Where are you taking me?
Speaker B:God, Eight hours in the garage, and it finally came up with Me Ink now me expressing I need change now to help those become aware of.
Speaker B:Of those traits and.
Speaker B:And not just for themselves, because I had to make a change, but for the environment that their children are in, because if they don't make those changes, then they're passing that on to their children and their children's children and their children's children until those traits are broken, and I've broken many.
Speaker B:So I hope I was able to answer your question.
Speaker A:Of course.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker A:My.
Speaker A:My mother was the abuser in our house.
Speaker A:My stepdad was the savior, the.
Speaker A:The.
Speaker A:The one who showed unconditional, gentle love.
Speaker A:He taught me that you don't have to be blood to be family.
Speaker A:And, you know, I carried my mom's abusive traits of rage and anger throughout my entire life, and it wasn't until, you know, I got my own help.
Speaker A:And the thing about help is that I got help earlier on in my life, in my mid-20s.
Speaker A:Right.
Speaker A:But at that time, I just acknowledged the anger and the abuse.
Speaker A:I didn't really deal with the anger and the abuse.
Speaker A:So in my brain, I was like, oh, well, I'm good from that because I've already acknowledged it.
Speaker A:I understand it, you know, move on.
Speaker A:But it lingers, and it.
Speaker A:It's something you carry with you.
Speaker A:Until you actually release it and let it go.
Speaker A:And it wasn't until I was 58 that I actually released it and let it go.
Speaker A:And there's a whole big difference between addressing it and releasing it.
Speaker A:And, you know, I didn't.
Speaker A:I grew up, you know, always wanting to just be different from my mother.
Speaker A:I never.
Speaker A:I wanted to be more like my stepdad than my mother.
Speaker A:So I didn't allow that abuse to come with family.
Speaker A:But I certainly did it at the bars.
Speaker A:I certainly did it with anyone who got in my face.
Speaker A:I certainly did it with my best friend, because he was in my face telling me things I didn't want to.
Speaker A:So it was there, and it's been there.
Speaker A:And rage and anger.
Speaker A:And I've said this so many times in society, rage and anger are the only emotion that men are allowed to express without judgment.
Speaker A:Now, people don't want to see it, and they don't want to be experiencing it all the time, but it's one that they understand.
Speaker A:But when you start bringing in compassion and empathy and softness, vulnerability, well, then society says, oh, well, you're not manly, man.
Speaker A:You're not man enough.
Speaker A:Which is bullshit.
Speaker A:You are man enough.
Speaker A:That is actually being a man, being able to be fully encompassed and fully integrated with all of your emotions, not just the rage and anger.
Speaker A:Do you agree?
Speaker B:I.
Speaker B:I certainly agree.
Speaker B:Like, you know, I forgave my stepfather.
Speaker B:I did.
Speaker B:When I.
Speaker B:When.
Speaker B:When I.
Speaker B:When I started.
Speaker B:See, here's the whole thing.
Speaker B:I'll get back to that in a second.
Speaker B:Becoming aware.
Speaker B:Like, on the islands, we say that you're not an alcoholic until you attend your very first AA meeting.
Speaker B:Okay?
Speaker B:So until you become aware, it's just.
Speaker B:It's just a thought.
Speaker B:So when I became aware and.
Speaker B:And actually was doing.
Speaker B:And that's why I.
Speaker B:I cut the line when.
Speaker B:When I found out about me being my stepdad, I had to do a whole lot of soul searching.
Speaker B:And.
Speaker B:And when I did, I forgave him because he was a victim of the environment that he lived in, and he was only doing what he knew, the same way I was doing what I knew until I became aware that I had a problem.
Speaker B:And it wasn't a drinking problem, it was an abusive problem.
Speaker B:I would snap.
Speaker B:And that was the PTSD from those years of.
Speaker B:Of serious abuse.
Speaker B:And that's where the word love came in for me.
Speaker B:Love was like.
Speaker B:And I was like.
Speaker B:I was, like, really messed up.
Speaker B:It's like, you.
Speaker B:You.
Speaker B:You.
Speaker B:You do the damage to my mother.
Speaker B:You do the damage to me.
Speaker B:And Then you turn around and tell us how much you love us.
Speaker B:So even when I ran away and I got adopted, I was loved.
Speaker B:I mean, I was loved by my Japanese family.
Speaker B:I was raised in an environment of Japanese and the culture.
Speaker B:But it was difficult for me to understand because love was confusing to me.
Speaker B:I couldn't grasp it.
Speaker B:And, and as I grew, I, I.
Speaker B:And I became aware of the issues that I had, and I made these changes.
Speaker B:Even though I still have the ptsd, I've learned how to control it based on positivity.
Speaker B:See, I make sure, I'm not saying I don't go negative here and there.
Speaker B:It happens.
Speaker B:We're all human beings.
Speaker B:But when you build your life more into positivity because you become aware of an issue and you don't want to go back to that which you can, then you start working on the positivity.
Speaker B:So I just believe in the power of love.
Speaker B:I believe in the power of positivity.
Speaker B:I believe in the power of giving to those that are in need or, or no.
Speaker B:Wanting to be wanted, wanting to be loved.
Speaker B:And now that I've really learned how to grasp it, yeah, I want to share it all the time.
Speaker B:I want to share that.
Speaker B:Aloha.
Speaker A:Well, part of the, part of the healing journey, at least in my experience, was having to do exactly like you said.
Speaker A:I had to come to a point where I forgave my mother for all the abuse because I, I had to understand, just like you said, it stemmed from her father and what she learned.
Speaker A:Her father never said, I love you, he just abused her.
Speaker A:And I had to realize that she was only bringing the tools that she had in her toolbox, and she wasn't willing to go get new tools.
Speaker A:So those are the only ones she knew.
Speaker A:And once I did that, I was able to forgive her, release the anger, and live my full life without all that extra baggage.
Speaker A:So it takes a, it takes a strong person to face their inner demons.
Speaker A:And, and I don't think we ever release our inner demons.
Speaker A:I think we sit with them to where we can live with them.
Speaker A:Does that make sense to you?
Speaker B:No, I agree.
Speaker B:Because, see, that's where, that's where the, the fine tuning of control.
Speaker B:Because when you don't have control, that's when you allow the negative energies to come out.
Speaker B:So, you know, and it's not something that happens overnight.
Speaker B:It takes time to be able to learn how to control.
Speaker B:Okay.
Speaker B:Like I said, even, even to this day, there are things that, that if I let them linger, then, then that's where the negative starts coming in.
Speaker B:And if, if I don't, if I don't stop it, if I don't turn that light switch off, it's almost like, like on and off switch.
Speaker B:Then, then they will, it, it will, or whatever will, will control me.
Speaker B:But you know, we, we.
Speaker B:I have many people ask me all the time, how is it that you truly believe or you say, and I say, well, it's not.
Speaker B:I believe, I do.
Speaker B:And I did.
Speaker B:How can you forgive somebody that did that to you?
Speaker B:And your mother And I said, in order for you to move forward, this is God.
Speaker B:God says we must forgive.
Speaker B:You're never going to forget because that's the journey that you've been on, that he gave you when he gave you life.
Speaker B:And you've just learned the lessons along the way.
Speaker B:Why?
Speaker B:In order to give the wisdom and knowledge, those golden nuggets and those that will listen to you, that are having.
Speaker B:That's why I work with a lot of at risk youth because, you know, they, they don't.
Speaker B:They're in the same position I was in and because I can understand where they're at.
Speaker B:Look, I was so deep in the mind.
Speaker B:It's the defensiveness, you know, the, that defensive mechanism.
Speaker B:My, my father once told me, he says, you're defensive.
Speaker B:And the very first thing out of my mouth was, no, I'm not.
Speaker B:No, I'm not.
Speaker B:And I get it.
Speaker B:Because I was so deep in the mind.
Speaker B:I was embedded in the walls, it was dark, it was cold and I liked it because I think you can relate.
Speaker B:I wouldn't let nothing in that defensive, you know, I was, I was like, I was that diamond in the rough with that rough rock around me, the core around me.
Speaker B:And I'm in here trying to get out.
Speaker B:And I finally was able to get out by forgiving, forgiving where I was.
Speaker B:Because again, I didn't ask for it.
Speaker B:But it's the part of the journey.
Speaker B:Somebody, A lot of people ask God, why?
Speaker B:Why are you doing why?
Speaker B:Why?
Speaker B:Because there's a purpose and there's a reason for everything that we do in our life because it comes through us from the Creator, who I choose to call God.
Speaker B:And there's a reason.
Speaker B:And the reason is we can help others make changes from the negative environment or the negative that they're going through because it feels so much better to, to know and feel and extend not just a positivity, but love.
Speaker A:And I wholeheartedly believe that people get forgiveness wrong.
Speaker A:People think that it's forgiving them of what Their transgression was.
Speaker A:And it's releasing yourself from what you received from that transgression.
Speaker A:You know, you're doing it for yourself, not for them.
Speaker A:Sometimes you're forgiving people who don't even know they wronged you or that they need your forgiveness.
Speaker A:Right?
Speaker A:They're just going about their day.
Speaker A:They don't care.
Speaker A:But your heart changes, your body changes, your softness changes.
Speaker A:That wall becomes a little more translucent, and you can start to see that diamond and give more freely from that.
Speaker A:So if people get the forgiveness right, it's the understanding and the compassion of knowing that we all are on the journey, like you said, and we all have our own trials and tribulations, but we came here to learn our lesson, and they were a part of that lesson to help us help others down the road.
Speaker B:Well, we are actually forgiving ourselves.
Speaker B:I mean, you have to really look at this, and I do I break it.
Speaker B:I.
Speaker B:I tell people all the time I have to filter things.
Speaker B:And when I filter, it goes here and it goes down.
Speaker B:It goes into my heart.
Speaker B:It goes all the way down to my toes.
Speaker B:It comes back.
Speaker B:Now it's filtered clean.
Speaker B:It comes back up with a different, totally different outlook from the way that it started.
Speaker B:And so my.
Speaker B:My point is we have to forgive ourselves.
Speaker B:We have to forgive ourselves because we allowed ourselves not.
Speaker B:Not really willingly knowing, but we were a part of the problem when we were doing the things that we were doing because of the environment that we lived in, and we didn't have an understanding of why we were doing them.
Speaker B:We were just doing them.
Speaker B:So you have to end up forgiving yourself first.
Speaker B:And if you forgive yourself for.
Speaker B:For the sins or the negativity that you allowed yourself to do, then you cleanse and you move forward.
Speaker B:And that's where you'll never forget.
Speaker B:You'll never look, I'll never forget, you know, my high school coaches, I'll never.
Speaker B:There's some things, but there are other things that you do kind of sort of forget here, there.
Speaker B:But forgiving where you came from, if it's negative and, and the things that happened to you while you were in that environment, you'll never forget.
Speaker B:That is part of the journey, the path, until you get back into the mainstream of the destination, that we all know what the destination is.
Speaker B:I mean, nobody's going to get away from it.
Speaker B:So, you know, I tell people all the time that I know that when my book is opened up, when.
Speaker B:When it's my time and I have my wings and I'm standing in front of the pearly gates, which we all will, that they're going to look through the book of Chuck at 7 years old, but then they're going to start going through and they're going to start seeing.
Speaker B:So that's the whole point.
Speaker B:The whole point is not just forgiving yourself, but making the change of being different from where you were to who you are.
Speaker B:And so when they finally open up and it gets to the rest of.
Speaker B:I truly believe that I'm going to get in on probation because I learned the lessons and I make changes within my journey that God gave me and he's watched me the whole time.
Speaker B:So did I indeed do the journey that he gave me when he gave me life?
Speaker B:I believe I did and I believe I've, I've made some changes in other people's lives.
Speaker B:So that, that right there is, is, it's a beautiful thing, you know, and it's not something that you can just, it happens, it takes time, you know, that's all this wisdom and I see that you have some too, all this wisdom knowledge that we've gathered because every single strand is something that happened in our life and I've shaved off where bald and it all came back.
Speaker B:So I got a lot of wisdom and knowledge within the journey that I traveled.
Speaker A:Absolutely.
Speaker A:Speaking of journeys and traveling, how did you travel and live in Hawaii?
Speaker A:Like what, what got you over there?
Speaker B:I lost my significant other, the, the mother of our daughter.
Speaker B:I was, I was a father at 17.
Speaker B:I did a lot of things when I was young and, and again I, I've lived a, I've lived in a life.
Speaker B:I became a father at 17 and my significant other was 15.
Speaker B:When we were parents, life took us in different directions because I was damaged and marriages, divorces, relationships, children, whatever.
Speaker B:33 years later, God gave me a second chance.
Speaker B:See, this is also a testimony of my life, of my journey.
Speaker B:God gave me a second chance with my very first love, Catherine Kahala Mapuan and Momi Kelly and I were reunited.
Speaker B: passed away on Christmas Eve: Speaker B:And so we have great grand.
Speaker B:We actually have 20 grandchildren.
Speaker B:We share mixed hers, mine and ours.
Speaker B:20 grandchildren, six great grandchildren and seven children.
Speaker B:So when she passed away we were living in Northern California, but she was born and raised in Hawaii.
Speaker B:We, we, I moved to Hawaii to be closer to my grandchildren, my great grandchildren and, and other family members, a daughter.
Speaker B:And that's what took me to Hawaii.
Speaker A:And I Because I know your backstory.
Speaker A:I also know that your current wife also was a widow on Christmas, which is kind of an irony.
Speaker A:You, you both were widowed after long marriages on Christmas.
Speaker A:And this is where we can, can see the hand of God in our lives.
Speaker A:You know, the serendipity is not as serendipitous when you know that it's God led.
Speaker A:How did you and your current wife meet?
Speaker B:Well, my current wife, her name is Elena and we met on Facebook.
Speaker B:She, she is an entrepreneur, she has a, she has her own business and she does women's retreats and stuff.
Speaker B:And I was scrolling one day, I was a lonely 68 year old man that had just lost.
Speaker B:And then I went through, I went through a, a lot of things after my puana passed.
Speaker B:I almost died in West Virginia.
Speaker B:I was drinking a lot, I was depressed, I was going through, I was suicidal.
Speaker B:I had, it was, it was bad.
Speaker B:And that's when I moved to Hawaii.
Speaker B:But I was scrolling one day and I see this beautiful lady and she was doing something with a panel, she's putting a panel together about how, how, how did she put it?
Speaker B:How crazy dating at 50s and 40s and 50s because she was 40 something, almost 50.
Speaker B:And I went, whoa.
Speaker B:But when I saw her, the very first thing that I did when I saw her was I went, wow.
Speaker B:And then the next thing through my mind was I would love to just be able to talk to this, this lady.
Speaker B:And then another thing went through my brain is, you ain't got a prayer in the world, bro.
Speaker B:You know, but we just went through and I didn't really like the topic of 40s and 50s.
Speaker B:Well, what about six years?
Speaker B:I'm now 67 years old.
Speaker B:I think I'm in pretty good shape.
Speaker B:My dad made it to 86 years old.
Speaker B:I'm 60, I'm 69, on my way to 70.
Speaker B:I think I'm in pretty good shape.
Speaker B:And I stood up for the 60s and said, Whoa, whoa, whoa, wait a minute, what about 60s?
Speaker B:And she went, oh, I, I didn't mean anything by it.
Speaker B:Would you like to be part of the panel?
Speaker B:Hello.
Speaker B:So I became part of the panel.
Speaker B:I stuck up for the 60s and we started communicating with each other.
Speaker B:See, that's divine intervention.
Speaker B:We truly believe that's a testimony.
Speaker B:That's how good God is, is that, that I prayed not to be lonely.
Speaker B:My father passed away at 86 years.
Speaker B:A lonely man.
Speaker B:I have family members, grandmothers, and that, that, that didn't have a partner when they were older.
Speaker B:And, and I And I just asked God to pray to God and, and my wife prayed to her God and you know, that's what she says, her grand overall designer.
Speaker B:And, and we started working on it and God said, you did very well with the widow Catherine.
Speaker B:Call him up, I'm gonna give you another one.
Speaker B: passed away on Christmas Eve: Speaker B:Mapawana passed away Christmas Eve.
Speaker B: here was, there was like from: Speaker B:We started communicating with each other and it was, started off small, but then it started growing and, and one of the very first things I said to her, and I want to make this very clear to anybody that will be listening, hopefully there'll be many that I made a statement to her that if we can't talk, I walk because I'm 67 years old or 68 years old and I don't have time to play around anymore.
Speaker B:I just, it's just not going to happen.
Speaker B:So I, I spent a, a very long marriage existing within a relationship for a child, to raise a child.
Speaker B:And I wasn't going to do this, I don't have that time anymore.
Speaker B: ,: Speaker B: ,: Speaker B:And we are coming up on our one year anniversary.
Speaker B:And I truly believe, without a doubt, the blessings that continue to come through me and to me from my creator, who I choose to call God has a purpose.
Speaker B:And that purpose is, is I have a beautiful wife that, that she too is very spiritual and believes in her God and that we were brought together for a reason.
Speaker B:One, she needed a companion, she needed a man to take care of her.
Speaker B:And I needed to make sure that.
Speaker B:And because I told her, I said I don't want to, you know, I, I'm looking for friends and I, I don't want to be lonely.
Speaker B:She said, well, how do you know it's me?
Speaker B:Well, I kind of sort of knew.
Speaker B:She kind of sort of knew because she's been writing in a journal about my dear future husband.
Speaker B:It was just things that, that nobody can say.
Speaker B:I'm sorry.
Speaker B:They can say, can say all they want.
Speaker B:The bottom line is our God controls the journey that we're in.
Speaker B:That he gave us when he gave us life and when we accept it.
Speaker B:Oh man, you can.
Speaker B:It gives me chicken skin.
Speaker B:That's goosebumps.
Speaker B:It gives me chicken skin.
Speaker B:Because I truly believe Where I'm at today at almost 70 years old and my wife is on her way to 51.
Speaker B:That's how good God is that.
Speaker B:That there's a reason, there's a purpose behind it.
Speaker B:And I'm honored.
Speaker B:I'm grateful.
Speaker B:I tell God every day, thank you, God, for giving me the opportunity to not just wake up, but to have the beautiful wife that you gave me.
Speaker B:And I promise that I will continue to keep my vow until death do us part of being the husband that.
Speaker B:That you want me to be when you gave her to me.
Speaker B: that happened online and, and: Speaker B:But we believed in the purpose.
Speaker B:We believe that the pieces of the puzzle that were put out in front of us were ultimately going to put together a beautiful picture.
Speaker B:Like those boxes, you know, like a thousand pieces or.
Speaker B:And we use that in our conversations.
Speaker B:We had a thousand pieces just thrown out on the table.
Speaker B:We finally put it together piece by piece.
Speaker B:Sometimes it didn't match, sometimes it did.
Speaker B:But we worked on that puzzle.
Speaker B:Puzzle.
Speaker B:We worked on the foundation, which is the outer layer.
Speaker B:And we started working to the core.
Speaker B:And that's where her and I are today.
Speaker B:And I'm so grateful to my God and so is she.
Speaker A:I am smiling from ear to ear because you and I have.
Speaker A:And I'm going to use your football analogy that you'll understand.
Speaker A:We both have out kicked our coverage.
Speaker A:I know your wife very well and she's an amazing woman that I have a ton of respect for.
Speaker A:And my wife and I met online as well.
Speaker A:It wasn't Facebook, but it was a dating app.
Speaker A:And she would, she was just.
Speaker A:She had just lost both of her parents and was coming out of deep depression and I was getting my master's degree and just changing an address in the app wasn't.
Speaker A:I didn't have time.
Speaker A:I was going to school full time, I was working full time, didn't have time to date.
Speaker A:But again, I saw this picture of a beautiful woman.
Speaker A:She was, she grew up in Boston and she was standing, jumping over a wave with her heels in her hand with a big smile on her face.
Speaker A:And I just simply said, I got to say hi to this woman.
Speaker A:And I said hi.
Speaker A:And much like you, she said, I don't text.
Speaker A:We.
Speaker A:If you want to talk, we have to meet.
Speaker A:Like, wow.
Speaker A:Okay.
Speaker A:So we met.
Speaker A:It was supposed to be a 30 minute introduction, meet and greet was a five hour conversation.
Speaker A:And we've been together 10 years, ever since.
Speaker B:Amen.
Speaker A:We met on the 30th of October, and we got married on the 30th of October.
Speaker A:And, you know, I didn't want to have to remember two dates, but it took me seven years to get her down the aisle because she's been chronically ill.
Speaker A:And she said, I won't marry you until I can walk myself down the aisle.
Speaker A:And it took seven years to get her healthy enough to do that.
Speaker A:And We've been together 10 years, all together.
Speaker A:So I know we both out kicked our coverage, and I know it's the divine God that.
Speaker A:That brought us into both of those relationships because there's so much that we can do.
Speaker A:And it's even better when you have a partner who's walking that journey with you.
Speaker B:So we may have out kicked our coverage, but we scored.
Speaker A:Exactly.
Speaker A:Charles, if there's some youth or some men who are struggling with their own issues right now, what would be your best other than the spirituality?
Speaker A:Because I think that's a foundational thread that is key to everything.
Speaker A:But what would be one of your best messages to help them find their guidance and their direction to get out of whatever they were dealing with?
Speaker B:Well, I.
Speaker B:I speak a lot in schools.
Speaker B:I like middle schools and I like freshman programs because that's.
Speaker B:That's where they're beginning.
Speaker B:And I will go in and we'll have conversation.
Speaker B:And, and during.
Speaker B:During one of my presentations, I'll say, have you ever heard one ear and out the other?
Speaker B:And they'll go, yeah.
Speaker B:And I'll say, okay, now put your left hand over your left ear.
Speaker B:And.
Speaker B:And so 30 kids are in there, and they're going, whoa, what are we doing this for?
Speaker B:Well, because now it's not going in one ear and out the other.
Speaker B:And they're like, oh, man.
Speaker B:Because sooner or later, that light will light up, okay?
Speaker B:So know that you need to.
Speaker B:You need to make sure that everything that is going in there is not going in one or not the other.
Speaker B:And you're actually starting to piece apart the negatives to the positives.
Speaker B:The other is, have you ever heard you sound just like your mother or act just like your father?
Speaker B:And they'll say, yeah.
Speaker B:And I say, well, how do you feel about that?
Speaker B:Well, I don't like it.
Speaker B:Well, guess what?
Speaker B:This is your journey.
Speaker B:This is your opportunity to make changes within your life for your purpose, for your happiness.
Speaker B:So if you continue going down the path that you're going down, and you know that it's been reckless or it's been ugly, then look at your parents, because your parents, again, that Trait generation to generation.
Speaker B:Generation probably got it from their parents and they didn't make a change.
Speaker B:Where you have an opportunity to make a change.
Speaker B:If you really don't like, you act and sound just like your mother or your father and, and that kind of sort of works.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker A:If.
Speaker A:If I had realized that I was acting like my mother, I probably would have stopped a lot sooner.
Speaker B:That's it.
Speaker B:So.
Speaker B:So the sooner the better, right?
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker A:Well, I, I think you are an amazing individual and we could have this conversation for hours.
Speaker A:But I want to ask you one final question that I ask all of my guests.
Speaker A:What does a warrior spirit mean to Charles or having a warrior spirit mean to Charles?
Speaker B:Wow.
Speaker B:As, as, as the, you know, it's like the, the, the old phono at a diner where you would have the, the, the playlist.
Speaker B:Go through them.
Speaker B:I have all.
Speaker B:They call it Rodex.
Speaker B:It's going.
Speaker B:Live the life of purpose within yourself.
Speaker B:You know, look in the mirror.
Speaker B:One of my.
Speaker B:I have a.
Speaker B:I have a workshop that I do.
Speaker B:It's the man in the mirror, you know, from Michael Jackson.
Speaker B:But it's true.
Speaker B:Sometimes you'll be looking in that mirror and you won't.
Speaker B:And that person that you're looking at won't talk.
Speaker B:Why?
Speaker B:Because it might be from defensiveness you don't want.
Speaker B:But sooner or later, if you continue to look at that man or that person in the mirror, you'll start talking to that person and allow the conversation, allow everything to come up and talk to that person in the mirror.
Speaker B:Sooner or later, that person will talk back to you.
Speaker B:Because it's all within us, within our own purpose of who we are, to.
Speaker B:To make changes in our life, to put a smile on our face.
Speaker B:So as you're talking to that person in the mirror and they're not communicating back with you, but you start talking and you start laughing and giggling, you got that smile.
Speaker B:There's a reason.
Speaker B:Take those messages from within yourself because sometimes it's hard for people to talk to other people.
Speaker B:So talk to the person in the mirror and, and don't hold anything back.
Speaker B:And sooner or later, you'll find yourself walking within purpose of positivity.
Speaker A:I love that.
Speaker A:And it's been an honor to have you.
Speaker A:Maloha.
Speaker A:I believe I'm saying that part right.
Speaker A:Thank you.
Speaker B:You kind of started putting two together.
Speaker B:Mahalo is thank you.
Speaker B:Aloha is hello, goodbye and love.
Speaker A:Mahala.
Speaker A:Mahala.
Speaker B:Mahala.
Speaker A:I.
Speaker A:I appreciate your time today, and it's just been an honor and, and thank you so much.
Speaker A:For joining me.
Speaker B:Well, I'm gonna leave you with one other Hawaiian said you can.
Speaker B:You can check this one out.
Speaker B:Okay.
Speaker B:And hang on to it.
Speaker B:Okay.
Speaker B:It's a hui ho Huey ho kako.
Speaker B:A hui ho caco.
Speaker B:Until we meet again.
Speaker B:Beautiful.
Speaker A:I love it.
Speaker A:And if you would like to connect with Charles, you can do so on his social page, Facebook.
Speaker A:Charles Prinzen.
Speaker A:And once again, I just want to thank you all for joining us on this edition of A Warrior Spirit.
Speaker A:Be sure to hit that like or subscribe button so you can catch all the episodes, and may you have a wonderful rest of your day.
