Sitting with Your Sh*t: The Inner Work We Avoid
Ready for some real talk? This episode is all about digging deep into that inner turmoil we all like to pretend doesn’t exist.
Daryl and Shree take us on a wild ride through the landscape of personal transformation, discussing how most people are stuck in their heads, convinced that the world is the problem. But guess what? It’s time to turn that mirror around and take a hard look at our own inner workings. Shree, a transformation coach, is here to guide us through the process of ‘sitting with our shit’—a phrase that’s both hilarious and brutally honest.
Shree shares her own journey from a seemingly perfect childhood to a tumultuous adulthood filled with emotional struggles, unveiling the patterns we often overlook.
The duo reminds us that even if we think we had a golden childhood, there are always those hidden traumas that shape our beliefs and actions. They discuss how those beliefs show up in our relationships and how often we marry someone who mirrors our parental figures. It’s a wild realization that sparks the ‘aha’ moment for many listeners—because who knew that our past could dictate our present so much?
As they unpack the concept of forgiveness, both for others and for ourselves, they emphasize that this is a crucial step in the healing process. Shree explains how she helps clients recognize the limiting beliefs that have been ingrained in them for decades, often leading to major breakthroughs in their understanding of themselves.
And let’s not forget about the practical tips shared for anyone looking to start their own healing journey. It’s not just about acknowledging your problems; it’s about taking actionable steps—because let’s be honest, no one wants to be stuck in the mud forever. So, if you're ready to face the music and do the work, tune in for some laughs, tears, and life-changing insights!
Takeaways:
- One of the biggest hurdles we face is avoiding inner work, which hinders personal growth.
- Sitting with our feelings and confronting our past can lead to genuine healing and transformation.
- Forgiveness is essential for moving forward; without it, we just drag our baggage along.
- To create real change in our lives, we must take action and not just wish for it.
If you would like to connect with Shree, you can do so on her website at www.shreerego.com
Or on her socials:
Instagram: @shreeregocoaching
FB: www.facebook.com/ShreeRego?mibextid=LQQJ4d&mibextid=LQQJ4d
Podcast: Mom & Me Unfiltered
Transcript
Hey.
Speaker A:Welcome back to another episode of A Warrior Spirit, the show where inner warriors shine in their light, presented by Praxis 33, the company that aligns your thoughts, goals and actions to create your best life.
Speaker A:I'm your host, Darrell Snow.
Speaker A:Are you struggling with moving your life forward and no matter how hard you've been trying, you can't figure out why?
Speaker A:And for many of us, it's not the outer world that needs to be addressed, but the inner work.
Speaker A:Most of us aren't willing to sit with our shit, so we truly make progress in our lives.
Speaker A:But today we're going to be talking with Cherie Rigo.
Speaker A:Cherie is a transformation and mindset coach, and she teaches her clients how to sit with their shit so they can get shit done.
Speaker A:Cherie, welcome to the show.
Speaker B:Thank you.
Speaker B:So great to be here.
Speaker B:I always love chatting with you.
Speaker A:I appreciate you joining us today.
Speaker A:Most people who are trying to deal with their inner work, or as you say in your website, sitting with their shit so they can get shit done, most of them struggle with that inner.
Speaker A:Inner battle with facing what's going on inside them.
Speaker A:In order for most of us who are transformation coaches to really be effective, we've had to learn how to sit with our own shit and deal with it so that we can help others do the same.
Speaker A:But most of us have had a background or a childhood that isn't, you know, the Leave it to Beaver scenario.
Speaker B:Yeah, for sure.
Speaker A:What was your background?
Speaker A:What was your childhood like?
Speaker B:Yeah, and I can say you said most of us, and I would say even the ones that think they had a really great childhood, there is something, something that happened somewhere that's causing a thought that you're.
Speaker B:It's holding you back from some area of your life.
Speaker B:So, I mean, I had a.
Speaker B:My early childhood was lovely.
Speaker B:That's where my really fond memories are.
Speaker B:And that's where when I go back and I have this method that I teach people about a song and it's on my social media.
Speaker B:And it's because when I was young, I had extremely great memories.
Speaker B:And then as I became a teenager and reality set in that, you know, my parents were having their own struggles by no fault of their own.
Speaker B:Wonderful people, but it was a verbally emotionally abusive household for sure.
Speaker B:And again, they did the best they could.
Speaker B:And I had to work through that forgiveness as an adult, too, to be able to.
Speaker B:That was a lot of my sitting with my shit.
Speaker B:And because of that childhood, I created patterns and beliefs that I was unaware of and ended up marrying into a similar situation, much worse.
Speaker B:It was very emotionally, mentally, and one time too many physically abusive.
Speaker B:So after that, I had to really try to understand why is this happening to me?
Speaker B:And I think that's what's really hard.
Speaker B:People go through the day to day and they brush things under the rug, so to speak, or they do the busy work and they don't see, sit with their feelings and their thoughts.
Speaker B:Because sometimes there's major trauma.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker B:And that's where therapists come in.
Speaker B:Or there's just.
Speaker B:It's too painful or it's too much work.
Speaker B:So many things.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker B:But that's when you figure out the answers.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker A:My degree is in psychology, so I've studied, you know, human behavior and the human brain.
Speaker A:And it always fascinates me that even after 3,000 years, we're still asking the same question, you know, who am I?
Speaker A:Why am I here?
Speaker A:What's my purpose?
Speaker A:And it is especially, you know, personal experience.
Speaker A:I can say this transcends to a lot of my clients as well, the trauma that we faced as a child, whatever that may be, however severe that was.
Speaker A:We often acknowledge it and we say, oh, yeah, I understand.
Speaker A:My parents did this or did that or whatever.
Speaker A:And we acknowledge it and think that that's dealing with it.
Speaker A:And then we just drag it on in the rest of our life, throughout our adulthood.
Speaker A:And I'll be 60 in a few weeks.
Speaker A:And it took me Till I was 58 years old to actually sit with my shit and deal with it as uncovered layers for healing, not just acknowledgement.
Speaker A:And one of the things that I had to do was forgive my mother for her abuse that she did to my sister and I.
Speaker A:But then I also had to understand that her toolbox was only filled with the tools that she got as a child growing up in the household of my grandfather.
Speaker A:And my grandfather was a tyrant and a strict Catholic who dealt with an iron fist out of World War II.
Speaker A:And he didn't even say he loved you to his children.
Speaker A:So if he didn't say he loved you to his children and was violent to his children, how is my mom supposed to be any different when she didn't grow up in an era where it's okay to talk about your feelings, it's okay to dive deep into your stuff.
Speaker A:She buried her head in the sand her entire life.
Speaker A:And until I came to the realization that she didn't even have the right tools, Then I could forgive her, and then I could release all what I was carrying with myself.
Speaker A:And for the first time in 58 years I was able to be me because I finally sat with my shit instead of just acknowledging it.
Speaker A:Do you find that that's true for most of your clients?
Speaker B:Absolutely.
Speaker B:And it.
Speaker B:I think that, you know, we as a nation, as a world, we've evolved in so many things, you know, technologically and, you know, how we work and all these different things, but we're not evolving.
Speaker B:We're not recognizing, you know, the, the inner work.
Speaker B:And it's the inner work that solves it all.
Speaker B:You know, you have to be okay in here in order to shine that light and make it better for everyone else.
Speaker B:So whenever you are in pain or sadness or anger, it's only creating more of that for everyone else.
Speaker B:So I think that, you know, when people go to therapy and therapy is great, but you just talk about it and talk about the issues, but really the same thing.
Speaker B:Like, my parents were such wonderful people, but I was so angry because they make my life miserable, you know, and I didn't understand why my mother put up with it.
Speaker B:And it's funny because my dad was the verbally abusive one, but.
Speaker B:And I forgave him.
Speaker B:Probably in my 40s, he had already passed away, but I did some work and forgave him and understood after looking at his childhood.
Speaker B:My word, it's amazing how great my parents were when I look at their childhoods because both of them had very challenging ones.
Speaker B:And it wasn't until a year ago that I had to forgive my mom.
Speaker B:And I have sisters that don't understand that because they had a different relationship with my mom because they were older than me.
Speaker B:But I now know, like, my mom was the poor woman, like what she was going through and she didn't have the tools.
Speaker B:She didn't have a therapist or books to read or self help or understanding.
Speaker B:And so, yeah, and it's the forgiveness that sets you free, you know, and the same thing I have people that say, how can you forgive your ex husband?
Speaker B:And I have absolutely not an ounce of anger, not an ounce, because I know where he's coming from and his struggles and I want him to be okay whether he will be or not someday.
Speaker B:But doesn't mean that I don't.
Speaker B:It wasn't really, really bad and challenging, but that forgiveness is.
Speaker B:I have friends that are divorced and they are so angry with their ex husbands and it is not serving them.
Speaker B:It is holding them back from so much more joy and fulfillment in their life.
Speaker B:So, yeah, it.
Speaker B:So most all of my clients, I mean, it's amazing how we'll Talk.
Speaker B:And I've had clients who say, I don't understand what you mean about sitting with my shit.
Speaker B:And then three weeks later they'll say, oh, I get it now.
Speaker B:Or they'll be talking and I'll say, what?
Speaker B:What was that you just said?
Speaker B:What is that belief that you have?
Speaker B:And they don't even know where it's coming from or didn't know it was there.
Speaker B:It's hard to understand what your limiting thoughts are or your negative thoughts are if you've had them for 20, 30, 40, 50 years.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker B:And when someone else can recognize them or call them out and then it's a major aha moment.
Speaker B:But it's challenging because people don't understand the importance of it.
Speaker B:Wouldn't you agree?
Speaker A:Absolutely.
Speaker A:And I think you've said several really important things.
Speaker A:First off, our parents didn't have the freedom to sit around and talk about all these things.
Speaker A:If they got together in their friends group, everyone was always bitching about the same thing.
Speaker A:The husbands were bitching about the wives and the wives were bitching about the husbands.
Speaker A:And no one was actually trying to resolve whatever that issue was.
Speaker A:And they weren't willing to resolve it by saying, hey, I might be part of the problem as well.
Speaker A:The other part is that you married someone who was like your abusive parents.
Speaker A:And my first marriage, I married someone who was very similar to my mother in her, her verbal abuse.
Speaker A:She didn't have the physical abuse that my mother did, but she definitely had the verbal.
Speaker A:So we, you know, in.
Speaker A:And I look back and now that I'm healed as, I mean, I think healing is a never ending journey.
Speaker A:But now that I'm as healed as I am for today, I look back on that and I look how I would never have even dated that woman, let alone married that woman had I been whole.
Speaker A:I was trying to fix myself through trying to fix her.
Speaker A:And it was a daunting realization to realize, my goodness, I wasted all those years.
Speaker A:If I had only been healed, I could have had much happier first marriage.
Speaker A:And that's why my second marriage is so much better, because we both are healed far enough to recognize the patterns and do differently within those relationships.
Speaker A:But there's also the thing that we people rely on religion for their healing or for their salvation or for their comfort.
Speaker A:And it's not the religion, it's your connection with God, which is a spiritual connection, it's not a religious connection.
Speaker A:I can find as much comfort in God by walking in the mountains or sitting on a beach listening to the ocean As I ever have sitting in a pew listening to a guy spew his of what I'm supposed to do.
Speaker A:So going inward is that connection.
Speaker A:And people say they're waiting on God, they're waiting on God, they're praying to God, they're praying to God.
Speaker A:But praying to God is us talking to God.
Speaker A:Sitting quietly in.
Speaker A:Whether you call it meditation or just shutting your mouth and your brain is us listening to God.
Speaker A:And we can't hear God's word if we're always talking instead of listening.
Speaker A:Do you find that to be true as well?
Speaker B:Well, you just really.
Speaker B:It's interesting.
Speaker B:I grew up Catholic, going to church, and so there was always the awareness of God.
Speaker B:And as I evolved and through years, I did not agree with a lot of the Catholic teachings, but I always felt connected to a higher power or what's the universe.
Speaker B:But when I look back as a teenager, when things were challenging, when I would have a huge argument with my dad and it was just really emotionally just horrible, we lived near a bay.
Speaker B:And I would walk down the street to the docks, to the town docks, and I would sit and this is why the ocean is.
Speaker B:I can't live somewhere where the ocean isn't close by.
Speaker B:And I would sit and I would be like 15, 16, 17 years old.
Speaker B:And answers would come to me because I was not knowing then that I was having that connection.
Speaker B:And you know, people, I think find it, they want to resist when they think religion.
Speaker B:And it's, it's not religion, it's this oneness of this.
Speaker B:There's this amazing what power, energy of whatever you want it to be, whether it be God, whether it be the universe, it'd be spirit, it be energy.
Speaker B:And it is where the answers are, but they're, they're here.
Speaker B:And yeah, you just, I think through my coaching, there's the brain piece, right?
Speaker B:And I know what our thoughts can do and how we have to change our story so that it serves us.
Speaker B:But yet we need to sit with ourselves and ask for guidance.
Speaker B:Wherever that guidance, whoever that guidance is to you.
Speaker B:And this is where I find all the answers.
Speaker B:It's where I, you know, when I went through a challenging divorce and I was living in an apartment after I had to leave my beautiful home with my two babies, 1 and 2 year old in diapers.
Speaker B:And I can till this day still remember sitting on the floor saying, please, just, I'm asking what do I do next?
Speaker B:Because I don't know.
Speaker A:And I did hear a pastor say once, and I've taken this to Heart.
Speaker A:He said, many of us are waiting on God.
Speaker A:We're praying, we're asking for our.
Speaker A:Whatever our needs are to be filled.
Speaker A:And we're waiting.
Speaker A:But what if God is waiting on you?
Speaker A:And that really struck me, because sometimes sitting with your shit and dealing with it is part of God waiting on you to move forward and take some effort of responsibility so that then he can come in and bring you that further resolution and transformation.
Speaker A:God is not, in my opinion, some magic genie that we just rub the lamp and get our wishes fulfilled.
Speaker A:Sometimes God's answer is no.
Speaker A:Sometimes God's answer is yes.
Speaker A:And sometimes God's answer is wait.
Speaker A:Be patient.
Speaker A:Right.
Speaker A:Do you find that to be true as well?
Speaker B:Yeah, I was.
Speaker B:I always.
Speaker B:I was thinking of two things.
Speaker B:I'm like, I don't want to forget what I'm going to say.
Speaker B:And I think I probably forgot now, but let me, Let me think.
Speaker B:Something you said that resonated, you know, and you always hear this like, life isn't happening to me.
Speaker B:It's happening for me.
Speaker B:And I think that everything is a lesson, and it's to help us learn what we either want more of or don't want.
Speaker B:But I've been doing this class, and one of the things that really stood out was that the universe, God, spirit, wants us to be happy, wants love.
Speaker B:It's love.
Speaker B:It's all goodness.
Speaker B:And we create in this 3D world, in this human body that we have, we are creating all the negatives, right, the evil out there based on our thoughts and our patterns and what we're doing and what we're attracting.
Speaker B:And there is such goodness in this universe.
Speaker B:And when you sit again and you think, okay, why?
Speaker B:What is this lesson?
Speaker B:You know, like, for instance, when I went through that divorce or with my dad, like, what was that lesson?
Speaker B:And to me, it was to break that pattern.
Speaker B:But I had.
Speaker B:I didn't know at the time so that my children would be raised without a verbally abusive household, and they wouldn't then go and have partners that were abusive.
Speaker B:And so, you know, there were a lot of lessons in that.
Speaker B:So I didn't.
Speaker B:I don't have any regrets.
Speaker B:You know, I also have two amazing children from it.
Speaker B:So I think, yes, there's something else you said now I don't remember, but maybe you can remind me.
Speaker B:I don't know.
Speaker B:I get so excited about this.
Speaker B:Sorry, Darrell.
Speaker A:No, that's okay.
Speaker A:We have, you know, to unpack a lot.
Speaker A:The thing that, like my.
Speaker A:As a transformational coach as well, one of the things That I talk about to my clients is my.
Speaker A:My philosophy is where the woo meets the work.
Speaker A:And part of my pillars in my praxis 33, I named it that specifically because praxis is the integration of thought and action, which is taking control of your shit.
Speaker A:And 33 is an angel number for success and prosperity.
Speaker A:And one of my pillars is co create.
Speaker A:Because we have to co create our lives.
Speaker A:We can't just sit around wishing and hoping for our life.
Speaker A:And I say this quite often, you want the cake, but you're never going to get the wedding cake iced all over.
Speaker A:You're going to get the eggs and the batter and the pan and the baking soda and you're going to have to some assembly required to get that cake.
Speaker A:Because if I give you a shovel, you're never going to get a hole unless you put a foot to it.
Speaker A:So we have to do our part.
Speaker B:Yeah, that's exactly like I always say, we have to.
Speaker B:We have action steps, same thing.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker B:So you have your intended desire where you're trying to get to what you want more of fulfillment, joy, a certain goal, but.
Speaker B:And you can think all these wonderful thoughts and you can ask for it, but you have to take steps to get you there.
Speaker B:And I think that people think, oh, you know, once I get that goal, I think they realize, well, what's next?
Speaker B:Because they're not really doing the inner work to feel what really matters, you know, and not something just materialistic, if that makes sense.
Speaker A:Absolutely.
Speaker A:And I always equate, and I speak in pictures because I find people can relate to the imagery a lot.
Speaker A:But I think our healing journey more of like an excavator or an archaeologist, where we're slowly uncovering one layer and it's never the final layer.
Speaker A:There's always another layer beneath it to weed out and get to.
Speaker A:And you can't get to those deeper layers if you don't start with the top layer.
Speaker A:I mean, you could go in with a stick of dynamite and just blow it all up, but you don't have a very pretty picture by doing that.
Speaker A:So if you excavate it off and deal with each layer as they're there, now you can really assemble something.
Speaker A:And as a spiritual person, I imagine you know who Joe Dispenza is.
Speaker B:Absolutely.
Speaker B:Love his work.
Speaker A:Love his work.
Speaker A:And it's why I say my practice is where the woo meets the work.
Speaker A:Because people talk about spirituality and all this other stuff and they get really hung up on, well, it's not godlike, it's more Woo.
Speaker A:Spiritual.
Speaker A:But it's not.
Speaker A:It's everything we are talking about.
Speaker A:You can go in and find a Bible verse that directly talks exactly about that.
Speaker A:The phrasing is different, but the meaning is the same.
Speaker A:And so everything we're talking about is related back to God.
Speaker A:Not just this.
Speaker A:Woo.
Speaker A:You know, New age belief.
Speaker A:Spirituality is a direct connection to God.
Speaker A:But one of the reasons I like Joe Dispenza is he's a neuroscientist and he had a broken back and was told he was never going to get out of bed again.
Speaker A:And he said, bullshit, I'm going to figure out how to do this.
Speaker A:And he worked with his own mind and his own body to now be a healthy person.
Speaker A:And he teaches people how the brain and the neurons and the psychology behind everything you're doing translates into what your body is reacting to and how your body progresses forward.
Speaker A:But someone asked him because he is a neuroscientist and scientists don't often believe in the God or spirituality part.
Speaker A:But he was asked, do you believe in God?
Speaker A:And he said, if you believe in the Big Bang theory, which a lot of people believe in the Big Bang theory.
Speaker A:If you believe in the Big Bang theory and you do blow something up, do you normally have order and uniformity or do you normally have like, more chaos?
Speaker A:So if you believe in the Big Bang theory, that should not have created order, it should have created chaos.
Speaker A:But because it created order, there has to be a higher power than us doing this.
Speaker B:Yeah, it's.
Speaker B:A lot of people don't know who he is.
Speaker B:You know, in our world, we all know.
Speaker B:And I find that when you tell that story about his back that I get.
Speaker B:Yeah, okay, that's not possible.
Speaker B:That's not true.
Speaker B:And what I love about our brain is that most people don't utilize this powerful machine that we have.
Speaker B:And we just continue to go through the day to day and push everything under the rug and get up in the morning and do your same routine and question why, what, what more is there or what?
Speaker B:I mean, obviously there are plenty of people that are doing amazing things, but for those that are feeling challenged or feeling like something is missing, why is it so difficult to believe that if this universe was somehow created, it's here?
Speaker B:It's providing us with the vast oceans that we have and all the beauty that we have in this world.
Speaker B:Why is it so difficult to believe that us, as in this body that we have and the brains that we have are capable of so much more if we only learn how to utilize It.
Speaker B:And to realize that like we're just these little particles, these atoms, right?
Speaker B:We're energy.
Speaker B:And when we die, what happens we.
Speaker B:If you believe you have a soul, right?
Speaker B:But the rest of us is just dust.
Speaker B:So why not believe if we're energy, that all that energy out there, that we can work together, that there's something so much more powerful.
Speaker B:And I find it frustrating sometimes when I want to talk about that and then people really don't want to entertain that power.
Speaker B:Do you know what I.
Speaker B:Does that make sense?
Speaker A:Absolutely.
Speaker A:And that's.
Speaker A:And I've heard this.
Speaker A:This isn't my original thought, but it does amuse me that people believe in WI fi, where Bluetooth, where all of these electronics can be powered without connection to anything other than particles traveling through the air.
Speaker B:So perfect.
Speaker B:Yeah, perfect example.
Speaker A:That energy work is.
Speaker A:Woo.
Speaker A:Right?
Speaker A:I always like radio.
Speaker A:If you, if you were right now wanting to listen to a country station, you would turn on your streaming service or because I'm going to date myself now, a radio.
Speaker A:And we would actually have to turn the dial.
Speaker A:If I was on 94.
Speaker A:Five, I was going to get rock music.
Speaker A:But if I turn the dial to 98.7, I was going to get country music.
Speaker A:But the country music didn't just suddenly materialize, it was still going about until I tuned in my dial to get the right frequency to hear the right message.
Speaker A:It's the same with our connection to God and spirituality.
Speaker A:If we stick up our antenna but we're not tuned to the right station, we're not going to get the right message.
Speaker A:We have to tune our dial, which means fixing our shit to get that right message and get the information that we need to progress, to move forward.
Speaker A:And I don't understand how people can believe in all this technology.
Speaker A:We can get pictures from Mars, but we can't get a download from the universe.
Speaker B:Oh my God.
Speaker B:It's so.
Speaker B:It's yeah.
Speaker B:Like when you're driving in your car and you're listening to, you know, serious satellite or just a radio.
Speaker B:Same thing.
Speaker B:Like I think there's like, okay, yeah, that's just there.
Speaker B:But I don't really want to think about how that's there.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker B:It was created, it's possible to tune in.
Speaker B:It's the same thing.
Speaker B:And when I sit with myself and I, in my own way are.
Speaker B:Am communicating.
Speaker B:It's amazing the changes that happen.
Speaker B:Right?
Speaker B:It's amazing the answers you get.
Speaker B:It's amazing what we can create.
Speaker B:And you know, I have a woman that I, I can't say she's a close friend.
Speaker B:She's an acquaintance.
Speaker B:I went to a documentary that she created and she had stage four throat cancer and make her story short.
Speaker B:And she wrote a book.
Speaker B:Her name is Denise DeSimone and she did all of the work.
Speaker B:Now, did she use science and some radiology because she was so advanced?
Speaker B:Absolutely.
Speaker B:We can take advantage of the science that we've created.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker B:And all the wonders, but she's cured.
Speaker B:And I firmly believe when you hear those success stories and Joe Dispenza is one that, that does all of this work.
Speaker B:She sat with her.
Speaker B:She figured out who she needed to forgive.
Speaker B:And I don't want to.
Speaker B:I'm.
Speaker B:I can't tell her story the way she tells it, but it's exactly what we're talking about because our illnesses and all the things that we create are because of all this stuff going on.
Speaker B:And when we're willing to clear it and figure it out and, and practice forgiveness where it's needed, it's, it's.
Speaker B:That's when the change happens.
Speaker B:And, you know, she's cancer free and it's because she didn't listen to, okay, you're going to do this by the doctors.
Speaker B:And, and she listened to just a portion of it, but she did so much work on her own.
Speaker B:And I believe that, you know, disease is created and manifested in our bodies because, like, you know, spiritually, if something is ailing us and you look up, well, what is the spiritual meaning of that?
Speaker B:And it'll say, oh, well, you're having issues with forgiveness or you're having issues with speaking your mind or your, you know what, it all is related.
Speaker A:It's dis ease in our body.
Speaker A:And another, another transformational coach.
Speaker A:She does Thai massage and Reiki and things that my wife does, but she talks about it being issues in your tissues and how our body and our DNA holds all of that trauma and all of that stress and all of that stuff in your body and it creates the issues within your system.
Speaker A:Years and years ago, I spent an entire year where I could barely get out of bed.
Speaker A:I was.
Speaker A:I had a low white blood count.
Speaker A:I couldn't hardly function.
Speaker A:I barely could make it to and from work and went to doctor after doctor after doctor.
Speaker A:And after a year of them not being able to figure out one doctor said, you know, I really believe that this is stress related.
Speaker A:And as soon as I changed my job and my environment, four, four months later, I was back to being full health.
Speaker B:Yeah, yeah.
Speaker B:I used to suffer with sinus infections and Swollen glands all the time.
Speaker B:In my 20s, there was so much going on for me in my 20s.
Speaker B:I was still coming out of living in my teenage years and through college and the battles I had with my parents.
Speaker B:And I was always sick and I never get sick.
Speaker B:I might catch like a little something for a couple of days, but.
Speaker B:But because I have done that work, you know, that inner work.
Speaker B:And guess what?
Speaker B:I'm a work in progress.
Speaker B:We all are.
Speaker B:You said that earlier, right?
Speaker B:There's always stuff, there's always layers to unravel.
Speaker B:But yeah, the issues in your tissues.
Speaker B:I like that because I have a friend right now that's been.
Speaker B:She battles the flu all the time.
Speaker B:And I said, you have got to, yes, maybe get to like an immunology doctor or figure out what you can do.
Speaker B:I said, but you are so stressed right now in life and you really need to sit down and figure out where you need to make some changes.
Speaker B:But people don't do it sometimes.
Speaker B:And that's just, you know, again, it's everyone's own journey and.
Speaker A:But it's the power of words and thoughts.
Speaker A:We create the life that we're experiencing.
Speaker A:And many people go through life trying to not get something.
Speaker A:So that's what they're thinking about.
Speaker A:I don't want this.
Speaker A:I don't want this.
Speaker A:Well, guess what?
Speaker A:You're going to get the stuff you're thinking about.
Speaker A:You.
Speaker A:You can't say, I always get sick in the fall and then not expect to be sick in the fall.
Speaker A:You've just told yourself your brain's entire job is to do what you're telling it to do.
Speaker A:So if you're telling it, I get sick, it thinks that that's what you're needing to do and you get sick.
Speaker A:It's no different than when you go to buy a brand new car.
Speaker A:You think of a brand new car and you've never seen them on the street before.
Speaker A:You haven't seen that color that you want.
Speaker A:You haven't seen the car that you want.
Speaker A:And as soon as you tell yourself, I'm going to get XYZ car in XYZ color, suddenly you see them everywhere because your brain has opened up the filter that said, this is what's important to this person.
Speaker A:So now I'm going to allow that information to come in.
Speaker A:We are embedded and bombarded so much with so much information that our brain has to filter some of it out.
Speaker A:But if you tell it it's important, then it allows that in.
Speaker B:And that's what we.
Speaker B:That's what we tell our clients, right?
Speaker B:Because what you, what you focus on grows or I always had this quote that I loved.
Speaker B:If you dwell on what you do not want, then you're going to get more of it.
Speaker B:So if you dwell on your finances and your lack of it, you're going to get more of a struggle.
Speaker B:If you dwell on the fact that all the good ones are gone for a new partner, then you're going to get more of that.
Speaker B:And our brains want us to stay safe.
Speaker B:So whenever something is uncomfortable, our brain is going to say, no, you don't want that, that's not good.
Speaker B:So when we, that's why when we focus on a new goal or something really exciting and we know we, we want it, like we, we want that at that time.
Speaker B:But then when it starts to get uncomfortable or when those triggers, emotional triggers come in, that's when all of a sudden our brain is like, no.
Speaker B:And then we sabotage or we'll do, we'll go back to a repeated pattern, right?
Speaker B:And until we change that, until we learn to focus on what we want and not what we don't want, it will continually just repeat that loop.
Speaker B:Because those 60,000 plus thoughts that our subconscious is thinking every day has been wired all through our life.
Speaker B:And it's up to us.
Speaker B:And that's what like our brain is this amazing computer that will do what we want it to do.
Speaker B:And I love this study about like pianists.
Speaker B:It was like a Harvard study, right?
Speaker B:And or the same thing you could say with athletes that visualize that, that perfect shot, right?
Speaker B:But when pianists were playing and they studied that, the activation in the brain and when they just imagined it, that same activation in the brain happened.
Speaker B:Because as long as we continually change that thought and we need consistency and this is where people give up, right?
Speaker B:They'll do it for a couple of weeks and then they don't really see any changes or something bad happens.
Speaker B:You have to like, okay, be okay with that and just stay focused.
Speaker B:That's when the change occurs.
Speaker A:It's a long term process too.
Speaker A:I mean, some change can be instantaneously, but some of it, you're dealing with decades long stuff that you've dealt in the background.
Speaker A:95% of your day is programmed on autopilot from stuff that somebody else programmed into you.
Speaker A:You don't even realize that it's not even your thought or your idea.
Speaker A:And until you sit with the fact that I have to, I have to be grateful for where I am, I have to be grateful for what I currently have.
Speaker A:And then once you show more gratitude, you can't have a lot if you're not grateful for a little.
Speaker B:But that's hard for a lot of people to do.
Speaker B:Someone who is struggling to pay the bills or someone who's in an abusive relationship, that's really hard.
Speaker B:And that's what I try to help clients understand that there is something good right now.
Speaker B:There's a lot of good in your life.
Speaker B:And what we think that belief that you have or that thought that you have is creating a feeling, and that feeling is leading to actions.
Speaker B:Right?
Speaker B:And so if you can focus on some positive things, you're going to create a better feeling, and then you're going to create a better action, and you're going to be able to follow through.
Speaker B:Focus on what you want, not what you have that's not working.
Speaker B:Focus on what you're visualizing and what you see that is your dream or the change in your life.
Speaker B:And when you can put a feeling to that, you're going to be able to attain those steps better.
Speaker B:But it's really hard for people.
Speaker B:And that's why I always tell my clients to practice gratitude.
Speaker B:And that's what changed for me.
Speaker B:I mean, 20 years ago, I didn't know about gratitude journals or I could barely think of anything to be thankful for when I was going through that divorce.
Speaker A:Yeah, when we're sitting in the middle of our shit and like, I tell it all the time, when I was homeless, living out of my car, selling blood for gas money, I wasn't sitting there going, oh, thank you, God, for the lessons that I'm going to use 20 years from now.
Speaker A:I was like, how the hell do I get out of this mess?
Speaker A:But I was grateful that I had a body that allowed me to give blood to get money.
Speaker A:I was grateful that I was able to have communication skills enough to talk to strangers and have them be convinced to give me a night on their couch so that I could shower and go look for work the next day.
Speaker A:I was grateful that I had a car to actually shelter myself in while I was doing that.
Speaker A:And it took work and effort to get myself out of that situation.
Speaker A:But even in the middle of it, yes, I wasn't thanking God for my troubles and my problems, but I was grateful for the tools I had at the moment.
Speaker A:And to me, I didn't understand that that was my version of gratitude in what I was doing.
Speaker A:But by doing that, I went on a hot summer day here in Phoenix.
Speaker A:It was 105 degrees.
Speaker A:I was in My suit and tie, looking for work, had no money and I wanted relief from the heat.
Speaker A:So I was going to go into a gas station and get a soda.
Speaker A:It's all I could afford.
Speaker A:And I looked across the street and there was a cafeteria.
Speaker A:And I'm like, well, they have air conditioning.
Speaker A:I can.
Speaker A:And again, I'm aging myself.
Speaker A:I could sit with my want ads and look for work.
Speaker A:You know, sit in the cool comfort of their air conditioning, drinking their soda, because that's all I could afford and looking for work.
Speaker A:And so I went over there and the manager saw what I was doing, sitting in my suit and tie, looking for work.
Speaker A:And he said, would you ever consider being a manager here?
Speaker A:We have an opening.
Speaker A:Because they had three managers and they had an opening for one of them.
Speaker A:I said, sure, because I was looking for work.
Speaker A:And he gave me an application.
Speaker A:I filled it out, and he said, when our district manager comes in, we will give you a call for an interview.
Speaker A:And I'm like, okay, well, I'm living in my car.
Speaker A:This was long before cell phone, so there was no way anyone was ever going to get ahold of me.
Speaker A:I'm like, okay.
Speaker A:And he went on his way.
Speaker A:Five minutes later, the district manager happened to come into the office, interviewed me, and hired me on the spot.
Speaker A:And so now I had a job.
Speaker A:I had a job with.
Speaker A:One of the benefits was food.
Speaker A:And I had a way to get myself out of where I was.
Speaker A:Now, is that a God moment?
Speaker A:Absolutely.
Speaker A:But I was willing to do my part and be grateful for where I was.
Speaker A:And God did his part and stepped in and helped me.
Speaker B:Now, I didn't know you did the steps.
Speaker A:Yes, I did the steps.
Speaker A:I didn't know at the time that's what I was doing.
Speaker A:But that's the process that we have to go in.
Speaker A:We have to be grateful.
Speaker A:Whatever we're in, there's a solution for every problem and we have to work our way out of it and put things in motion.
Speaker A:Yes.
Speaker A:You don't just sit there.
Speaker A:Woe is me.
Speaker A:You find the solution.
Speaker B:Right?
Speaker B:Yeah, I know it's great stuff, but.
Speaker A:You did that in your own life.
Speaker A:And so once you sat with your own stuff and you started the forgiveness part, which also is a huge piece, and you started the gratitude part.
Speaker A:How did your life completely change from that moment on?
Speaker B:It really completely changed because when I left the marriage, I really lost everything through again, my own choices, my own unawareness of what my patterns were.
Speaker B:And I had to start all over again.
Speaker B:I had two babies in diapers.
Speaker B:I had an ex husband that was not okay or willing to do his part in child support.
Speaker B:And I depleted all my money in the marriage, all of the savings that I had.
Speaker B:And that's when again I said earlier, I sat and I decided I do not want to be a victim.
Speaker B:And why am I here?
Speaker B:Why did this happen?
Speaker B:And when I understood it, I really got more deeper into mindset.
Speaker B:But with that, I was very in tune to God.
Speaker B:I often would just talk and say, help me figure this out.
Speaker B:I want a new path.
Speaker B:And I mean, I had days where my children would ask for, for, let's go get ice cream.
Speaker B:And it was really odd for me because I had it all before and I had to fish for change to take them.
Speaker B:And they didn't know this at all at the time.
Speaker B:And you know, when I told my daughter that story like a year ago, she's like, wow, I had no idea things were that bad.
Speaker B:And I started practicing gratitude.
Speaker B:I would say, I'm thankful for my morning coffee.
Speaker B:I'm thankful I have a car that can get me to and from.
Speaker B:And I would recognize the thoughts that came up, like, how am I going to pay for rent?
Speaker B:How am I going to pay for that electric bill?
Speaker B:I don't want it to be shut off.
Speaker B:And I would stop and I would change my thought.
Speaker B:I would.
Speaker B:I was always a really good visualizer.
Speaker B:And I would picture myself in a new job, making more money, being able to pay the bills.
Speaker B:I learned to bless those bills when they came in and be thankful that I could pay for what I could at the time.
Speaker B:And slowly, again, it took work.
Speaker B:It took consistent, consistent work with my thoughts.
Speaker B:They were so deep rooted.
Speaker B:When I tell you, I mean, I would think about lack 50 times a day or more.
Speaker B:I don't even know.
Speaker B:It was so much, but I kept changing it, changing it, changing.
Speaker B:I changed my story.
Speaker B:I knew there was something better for me.
Speaker B:I knew that there was a lesson.
Speaker B:I knew everything was.
Speaker B:I always knew that everything was going to be okay because I had this belief that I was protected and that I had the power to change it.
Speaker B:And at that point I called someone, there was an ad again, dating.
Speaker B:I mean, we had the Internet at this point, but it's a little bit different.
Speaker B:And I got a job back in the industry that I was in before that I knew was going to pay well.
Speaker B:And that job ended up into a promotion and.
Speaker B:But during that time it was a struggle.
Speaker B:I mean, I.
Speaker B:My kids wanted everything that all the other kids wanted and I wanted Them to have, you know, I didn't want them to know.
Speaker B:You know, I didn't want them to know things were so bad.
Speaker B:So it was a combination of constant changing my story being, awareness of my thoughts, being sitting with my lesson.
Speaker B:What did I do to bring this to me?
Speaker B:And again, I gotta say, people don't want to hear this, but I brought all that on.
Speaker B:Those thoughts, created that reality for me, you know, and, you know, did I deserve to have a horrible marriage and be treated that way?
Speaker B:That's a whole different story.
Speaker B:But I, you know, so, yeah, it just, it's gotten.
Speaker B:I've evolved over time, learning all the lessons, taking off the layers, trying to understand my childhood.
Speaker B:Gratitude is what really.
Speaker B:Sorry, I'm really kind of getting emotional on some things here.
Speaker B:But.
Speaker B:Yeah, so next question.
Speaker A:That's okay.
Speaker A:You've transformed your life through your own work, which has now allowed you to be a good coach to transform other people's lives.
Speaker A:For anyone who's listening to us today, we've said a lot of ways that they can really start their own process.
Speaker A:But what is the key element that you tell your clients?
Speaker A:This is your starting point.
Speaker A:This is how you begin your journey to healing and transformation.
Speaker A:Where do you start them?
Speaker B:Well, I always like to ask people, where do you want to be a year from now?
Speaker B:What is not working for you?
Speaker B:What is, you know, what are you not feeling?
Speaker B:Don't think about the goal of I want a new car or I want.
Speaker B:That's all great.
Speaker B:To have goals and to, you know, want more money, be.
Speaker B:Have more abundance and have your dream house or have your great job.
Speaker B:That's.
Speaker B:Those goals are all great, but how do you want to.
Speaker B:What are you not feeling right now?
Speaker B:And that's.
Speaker B:Again, you've got to really think about that because you're going to like, I wanted to feel more worthy.
Speaker B:I wanted to feel.
Speaker B:Know that I could provide for my children.
Speaker B:I wanted to be happy.
Speaker B:I was so unhappy.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker B:And so I always ask them, what do you want your life to feel like?
Speaker B:And what will bring that.
Speaker B:What types of things are going to bring that, those feelings.
Speaker B:And that's when we have to think about what are the thoughts that are contributing to the lack, to the scarcity of that in your life.
Speaker B:If it's, if something's not working, it's because you have a thought thought or.
Speaker B:Or you don't feel you're deserving of it, or you're angry at something and those thoughts are stopping you from achieving what you want in the future.
Speaker B:And you may not be aware of those thoughts.
Speaker B:Some people who have a lot of confidence don't realize that they don't still have a.
Speaker B:Have worth, self worth.
Speaker B:They may be really intelligent in a certain area and done really well, but they don't really feel they deserve something in another area.
Speaker B:They may have a great career, but not have a great relationship.
Speaker B:And that's because there's something that you're thinking that you don't even know and it comes down to that.
Speaker B:But then we get into the steps that you and I talked about, right?
Speaker B:Then we get into why you need gratitude, why you need to sit more with it, why you need to consistently work on those, those steps.
Speaker B:And again, that's where the self sabotage or the procrastination kick in because those old patterns are going to start up again and then we give up.
Speaker A:And it also takes a four letter word that most people don't want to hear.
Speaker A:And that's work.
Speaker A:Yeah, have to do the work.
Speaker A:And you also have to understand that as you continue to grow and evolve and change the people around you, the circle around you may change as well.
Speaker A:You may shed some old people or have to shed some old people in order to get some new people who are more in alignment with where you're going, not where you've been.
Speaker A:And the people who love you the most may be your worst critic because not only are you changing your life, you're changing their life through the dynamic that you have with them.
Speaker A:So you have to be understanding that this transformation is going to transform a lot more than just your inner world.
Speaker A:If it does, you have to be prepared for that.
Speaker A:Because some people aren't prepared to let go of the old to receive the new.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker B:And I've had to let go of a lot.
Speaker B:And the clients that do the work, you know, I always, it's, it's amazing because I, they'll say, well, this relationship is causing problems.
Speaker B:And then we, we do the work with that.
Speaker B:And I have clients that will say I'm just overwhelmed and I had a really tough week and I didn't do everything that we discussed.
Speaker B:And I say, well, what happened?
Speaker B:And, and then I, they'll be really hard on themselves.
Speaker B:And I say this is great news.
Speaker B:This is proof that you're doing the work.
Speaker B:Because now your brain is resisting, everything is being, resisting it because it's change.
Speaker B:And remember what you told me, you want this, you want A, B, C and D.
Speaker B:But if you want that, this is where the work comes in.
Speaker B:And this is why people give up and they stay complacent or they stay, they're unhappy or they're not fulfilled, they're not living in their truth.
Speaker B:But you're look at you, you're doing the work and look what's happening.
Speaker B:And you know, we always.
Speaker B:What's that saying you are the five people you spend the most time with?
Speaker B:Well, if you're spending time with five people that are not serving you or they're not really have your best interest, that's where you're starting to notice that you may need to, you know, you don't have to.
Speaker B:In some situations you need to remove people from your life.
Speaker B:In some you just need to distance.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker B:And not tell them everything until you get to that next level.
Speaker B:And yeah, that's when the people, when the clients don't do the work, then they don't see these results.
Speaker B:But that resistance will always come up when you're.
Speaker A:Well, not everyone in your boat is helping you row.
Speaker A:Some are in the back drilling holes.
Speaker A:So you have to really be discerning on who you let into that inner circle.
Speaker A:And I'll remind my clients too, as you progress and as you transform and as you grow, your problems are not going to just disappear.
Speaker A:They're just going to change and possibly get bigger and stronger.
Speaker A:So your goal isn't to be problem free.
Speaker A:Your goal is to handle bigger problems.
Speaker A:And if you are spiritual or connected to God or have your higher self awareness, I remind them, if you're just sleepwalking through life, the other side does not have to worry about you.
Speaker A:But once you awaken to step into your purpose and your passion and your goals that you were put on this earth to have dominion over and to bring forth, now you're awake and they have to be awake to knock you off because now you're another warrior on the battlefield and they don't want you there.
Speaker B:And when those things happen to you, you need to keep questioning, just question why, what is it teaching me?
Speaker A:Absolutely.
Speaker A:And in that transition, I'm going to ask you the final question.
Speaker A:What does a warrior spirit or having a warrior spirit mean to Cherie?
Speaker B:If you asked me that question five years ago, it would be, or even three years ago, it would be different.
Speaker B:But to me it is living in my truth, continually growing, continually learning and being able to be a light, be that energy or keep working on that energy that is going to serve all of us and to be able to show that and teach that to others so that we can really live in our true power and recognize that it's so possible.
Speaker A:Well, you are definitely embodying everything that you just said and I'm honored that you're in my circle and one of the people that I respect in this industry.
Speaker A:The industry is laden with charlatans who are only there to gain money and you are not.
Speaker A:You are there to gain transformation for your client and I respect anyone who is helping others do that.
Speaker A:So thank you for joining me today and thank you for being a part of A Warrior Spirit.
Speaker B:Thank you, Darrell.
Speaker B:I really appreciate all of that, what you just said.
Speaker B:Feel the same way and appreciate it.
Speaker B:Thank you.
Speaker A:And if you'd like to connect with Cherie, you certainly can on her website, cherierego.com or on her social medias.
Speaker A:She also hosts a podcast, mom and Me Unfiltered.
Speaker A:Be sure to tune in and hear her musings on that as well.
Speaker A:And as always, I want to thank you for joining me on this edition of A Warrior Spirit.
Speaker A:Be sure to like or subscribe so you catch all the episodes and may you have a very blessed day.
